Destination Event Unpleasantness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they choose to have it in another country and at a great cost to others. I would not attend.

+1

Nailed it.

Destination weddings, funerals, bar/bat mitzvahs, et al are completely optional, OP. Completely.

+1. I'm of the opinion that people should do whatever they want for their own events, but they should never expect others to do travel/pay like this. They need to know their crowd too. Unless they know their extended family is loaded with cash and vacation time, then they were pretty much choosing the location over extended family. Nothing wrong with that, but it's not reasonable to also expect them to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, they choose to have it in another country and at a great cost to others. I would not attend.

+1

Nailed it.

Destination weddings, funerals, bar/bat mitzvahs, et al are completely optional, OP. Completely.

+1. I'm of the opinion that people should do whatever they want for their own events, but they should never expect others to do travel/pay like this. They need to know their crowd too. Unless they know their extended family is loaded with cash and vacation time, then they were pretty much choosing the location over extended family. Nothing wrong with that, but it's not reasonable to also expect them to attend.

+2.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely not have gone.

[Anonymous]

I'm another who would not have gone. They are entitled to make a decision that works for them and vice versa. It's wrong for them to have emotionally blackmailed you.

Now. Back reality: You've committed to going. Book your own room, you are already spending the money you need to make the best of the situation and for me, that would mean having my own room so I can have some personal space. If there's something you want to do on the trip that's not a part of the plans, make arrangements to visit/do. Be sure to let your family know in plenty of time that you won't be doing X on certain days as you've made other arrangements.

And, consider some therapy so you can handle these types of situations in the future and gracefully get out of them and not feel guilty.