THAT Mom...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone like this! In real life most women seem to get lucky in one way and not the other. For example, in my household dad is super involved with our child and truly splits both the emotional and physical labor of running the household with me 50-50. But we are not wealthy and I don’t have an exciting career. Most other moms I know are life this as well-lots of money, but husband is barely home. Etc.

Eh I don't know about this. My husband makes a lot of money and we split everything 50/50. I work super part time and he still cooks dinner most nights!

I wouldn't call my job exciting. But that's on me. I'm sure another woman in my position could find an exciting, glamorous job. I have the opportunities and time, I just don't want to put in the effort.

That sounds unfair to your DH. You should consider doing more. Do your share.

If my DH doesn't care, why should you?

Leech life is a good life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone like this! In real life most women seem to get lucky in one way and not the other. For example, in my household dad is super involved with our child and truly splits both the emotional and physical labor of running the household with me 50-50. But we are not wealthy and I don’t have an exciting career. Most other moms I know are life this as well-lots of money, but husband is barely home. Etc.

Eh I don't know about this. My husband makes a lot of money and we split everything 50/50. I work super part time and he still cooks dinner most nights!

I wouldn't call my job exciting. But that's on me. I'm sure another woman in my position could find an exciting, glamorous job. I have the opportunities and time, I just don't want to put in the effort.

That sounds unfair to your DH. You should consider doing more. Do your share.

If my DH doesn't care, why should you?

Leech life is a good life!

Ok idiot. I do work and we both contribute 50/50 at home. My husband just happened to choose a career that makes more money than mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone like this! In real life most women seem to get lucky in one way and not the other. For example, in my household dad is super involved with our child and truly splits both the emotional and physical labor of running the household with me 50-50. But we are not wealthy and I don’t have an exciting career. Most other moms I know are life this as well-lots of money, but husband is barely home. Etc.

Eh I don't know about this. My husband makes a lot of money and we split everything 50/50. I work super part time and he still cooks dinner most nights!

I wouldn't call my job exciting. But that's on me. I'm sure another woman in my position could find an exciting, glamorous job. I have the opportunities and time, I just don't want to put in the effort.

+ 1

I think this is becoming the norm among the alpha men types. I know many senior partners, managing directors, c-suite executives, in demand surgeons, etc. who show up to all the games and school stuff. It's the way that society is moving.

I think it's possible for them to do now that it's socially acceptable to have your kids later in life. Now that people aren't even starting until their mid thirties, such an arrangement is possible where it wouldn't have been if you had kids in your mid twenties and were still building your career and putting in the necessary face time. Plus technology. Everyone I know does kid stuff in the early evening then jumps back on their lap tops after kids go to bed.

I agree. Having a husband who makes a lot of money (say, 500k + in this area) and helps out 50/50 at home is not unusual at all. Ambitious women expect their husbands to put in the effort at home.

However, to the OP's point, not every woman is beautiful and stylish. My husband and I both have great careers, 3 kids, a very happy marriage but I wouldn't say that I am beautiful and HGTV/magazine stylish. That's a skill set you're either born with or not. So I'm sure no one is envious of my life.

This is the real issue. OP is obsessed with this woman because she's beautiful. It's pretty privilege, nothing more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The person that I could imagine thinking this about if I didn't know her better has a had a several tragic events in her life. Don't compare some superficial impression to real life. Everyone has struggles.

Same.

Yes, OP, rest assured she MUST have endured a hardscrabble Southern Gothic childhood or be a secret McDonald's binge-and-purger or discovered her DH cruising Craigslist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone like this! In real life most women seem to get lucky in one way and not the other. For example, in my household dad is super involved with our child and truly splits both the emotional and physical labor of running the household with me 50-50. But we are not wealthy and I don’t have an exciting career. Most other moms I know are life this as well-lots of money, but husband is barely home. Etc.

Eh I don't know about this. My husband makes a lot of money and we split everything 50/50. I work super part time and he still cooks dinner most nights!

I wouldn't call my job exciting. But that's on me. I'm sure another woman in my position could find an exciting, glamorous job. I have the opportunities and time, I just don't want to put in the effort.

That sounds unfair to your DH. You should consider doing more. Do your share.

If my DH doesn't care, why should you?

Leech life is a good life!

Ok idiot. I do work and we both contribute 50/50 at home. My husband just happened to choose a career that makes more money than mine.

Does he also work super part time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone like this! In real life most women seem to get lucky in one way and not the other. For example, in my household dad is super involved with our child and truly splits both the emotional and physical labor of running the household with me 50-50. But we are not wealthy and I don’t have an exciting career. Most other moms I know are life this as well-lots of money, but husband is barely home. Etc.

Eh I don't know about this. My husband makes a lot of money and we split everything 50/50. I work super part time and he still cooks dinner most nights!

I wouldn't call my job exciting. But that's on me. I'm sure another woman in my position could find an exciting, glamorous job. I have the opportunities and time, I just don't want to put in the effort.

That sounds unfair to your DH. You should consider doing more. Do your share.

If my DH doesn't care, why should you?

Leech life is a good life!

Ok idiot. I do work and we both contribute 50/50 at home. My husband just happened to choose a career that makes more money than mine.

Does he also work super part time?

Why does that matter to you? I work part time in order to be available for my kids when they get home from school. That's my part of contributing to the household. DH contributes in other ways (such as the cooking I already mentioned).

We're both 100% on board with our arrangement so I don't know what is it to you, besides jealousy.

Yeah I do have a pretty awesome gig - my jobs is related to my original field, my degree, and it's creative and flexible. It doesn't pay well, however.

[Anonymous]

Life comes easier to people who are beautiful and stylish.

This is known.

It's not a mystery why you are drawn to this particular woman and not others. She's pretty!

[Anonymous]

I don't know anyone like this, to be honest. I guess possibly someone is like this if you take a snapshot in time. But once you see and know people in and out for a while? No. No one's life is like this all the time. Or if you think it is, you're just not around them enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know anyone like this! In real life most women seem to get lucky in one way and not the other. For example, in my household dad is super involved with our child and truly splits both the emotional and physical labor of running the household with me 50-50. But we are not wealthy and I don’t have an exciting career. Most other moms I know are life this as well-lots of money, but husband is barely home. Etc.

Eh I don't know about this. My husband makes a lot of money and we split everything 50/50. I work super part time and he still cooks dinner most nights!

I wouldn't call my job exciting. But that's on me. I'm sure another woman in my position could find an exciting, glamorous job. I have the opportunities and time, I just don't want to put in the effort.

That sounds unfair to your DH. You should consider doing more. Do your share.

If my DH doesn't care, why should you?

Leech life is a good life!

“super part time” in my circles means, “doesn’t work but doesn’t want to admit it”.

Ok idiot. I do work and we both contribute 50/50 at home. My husband just happened to choose a career that makes more money than mine.

[Anonymous]

OP here, and I assure you, I am a real person. I didn't think I was writing in cliches, but I also didn't spend much time working to ensure my anonymous post on DCUM was worthy of the New Yorker.

I do know her, and I know she has some struggles like all of us, but her fundamentals are all on point. We all make our decisions in life: who we marry, what career we pursue, what house we want to buy, how much time we commit to working out, eating right, what kind of mom we want to be, etc. I'm just envious that she seems to have done amazing in every aspect. People may look at me the same way I look at her actually. And maybe that's just human nature to strive for more...

Still, if I didn't have her in my life, would I be happier?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and I assure you, I am a real person. I didn't think I was writing in cliches, but I also didn't spend much time working to ensure my anonymous post on DCUM was worthy of the New Yorker.

I do know her, and I know she has some struggles like all of us, but her fundamentals are all on point. We all make our decisions in life: who we marry, what career we pursue, what house we want to buy, how much time we commit to working out, eating right, what kind of mom we want to be, etc. I'm just envious that she seems to have done amazing in every aspect. People may look at me the same way I look at her actually. And maybe that's just human nature to strive for more...

Still, if I didn't have her in my life, would I be happier?

What are you thinking OP? Should we be concerned?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, and I assure you, I am a real person. I didn't think I was writing in cliches, but I also didn't spend much time working to ensure my anonymous post on DCUM was worthy of the New Yorker.

I do know her, and I know she has some struggles like all of us, but her fundamentals are all on point. We all make our decisions in life: who we marry, what career we pursue, what house we want to buy, how much time we commit to working out, eating right, what kind of mom we want to be, etc. I'm just envious that she seems to have done amazing in every aspect. People may look at me the same way I look at her actually. And maybe that's just human nature to strive for more...

Still, if I didn't have her in my life, would I be happier?

No - bc you are a Gretchen Weiner. You will always seek out a Regina George.

My advice is to go to therapy and try to work on this. It's such an ugly look to be so caught up in someone else's existence.

[Anonymous]

It's not her, it is you. You sound depressed and weird.

[Anonymous]

There's always someone like this for someone else. OP, you're probably this person for someone else and don't even know it.

No one would think I'm THAT mom by any kind of standard that DCUM cares about, but the people in my hometown sure think I'm THAT mom. They've told me as much.

It's a given that this kind of person will always exist, but it's your reaction to it that matters.

[Anonymous]

The one takeaway from this post is that you wish that her life isn't as perfect as it seems. Why do we do that? Why do we see someone who is good and kind and happy and has it all and wish that "they're not all that." If she's a good person, then I'm glad for her. I'd envy her a bit and wish I was like her, but I wouldn't wish her ill, either.