Moms secretly want 3+ kids but dads veto more than 2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman, mom and a serious breadwinner. I think the truth is breadwinners (men or women) are more likely to want small families. OP, are the women in your circle also breadwinners? bc I seriously doubt it.

Agreed. Is it all moms that secretly want three? Or just SAHMs? I can sort of understand the latter.

Why would you think it was either?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a trend among friends and family. It seems like most women would try for a third child, even if they thought they’d have to make some sacrifices. But the men are unwilling to rock the boat and only agree to two children, MAX. Why do so many self proclaimed feminists, modern women, continue to let the men around them control their reproductive choices?

Are you trying to sound stupid, OP? No one is controlling anyone. If she wants to have a third child, she is more than welcome to divorce, find another partner or sperm donor, and have a third child. And if a husband wants a third child, but his wife doesn’t, he is welcome to divorce her, find another partner and have a third child.

It is as simple as this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want a third but my marriage isn’t strong enough.

Me, too. My husband was alternating between "we should have a third" and "I resent that we have children", so that was not a difficult choice for me, although I did really want another one.

[Anonymous]

I’m baby crazy right now. I make about 40% of our income. My DH doesn’t really want to go through the baby stage again at this point. So we will re-evaluate in a year or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The no vote is the final vote. Doesn't matter if it's the woman or the man. If both don't agree to another child, the answer must be no, in fairness to the child.

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see a trend among friends and family. It seems like most women would try for a third child, even if they thought they’d have to make some sacrifices. But the men are unwilling to rock the boat and only agree to two children, MAX. Why do so many self proclaimed feminists, modern women, continue to let the men around them control their reproductive choices?

Hahahahaha.

You seem to believe that women are slaves of our emotions and genes, and men are more intelligent than us about family planning.

Born in the 19th century?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see a trend among friends and family. It seems like most women would try for a third child, even if they thought they’d have to make some sacrifices. But the men are unwilling to rock the boat and only agree to two children, MAX. Why do so many self proclaimed feminists, modern women, continue to let the men around them control their reproductive choices?

Part of being a feminist, modern woman is not forcing your partner to parent more children than he feels he can do well.

this! I want the third, husband doesn’t. That’s fine with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wanted three but my husband wanted two given we already had a boy and a girl. Thankfully it never got contentious but we both had careers and that’s where his concern was and the added stress on both of us especially me. But in the end he said it was my body and that he would be all in if that was what I wanted to do. So we had a third - a girl - and he was all in. I’m not sure how I would have reacted if he tried to pull a veto card. We’ve now been married a very long time and neither of us has ever pulled a veto card on a big decision as we have always been good about talking things through.

I've carried a lot of baby- big ones, and 5. But I don't get this. It's your body, but the baby that comes out is both of yours

[Anonymous]

Not in our house! We each only wanted two and that's what we have.