Moms secretly want 3+ kids but dads veto more than 2

[Anonymous]

No, not ever. My DH was lucky I was willing to pump out one of those things. Why would any female think a litter sounds like a good idea?

[Anonymous]

Feminism has nothing to do with forcing (or tricking) your husband into having more kids. WTF?

[Anonymous]

Oppo for me. Dh wants three. I am totally done with two. Body exhausted from pregnancy and breastfeeding which he cannot really get. He’s pretty hands on but I am the default parent. He knows kids are a lot of work but he loves the idea of more of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feminism has nothing to do with forcing (or tricking) your husband into having more kids. WTF?

+1

[Anonymous]

We have 4 and my husband wants 5 but I said no

[Anonymous]

We both only wanted one.

[Anonymous]

I want a third but my marriage isn’t strong enough.

[Anonymous]

I wanted three but my husband wanted two given we already had a boy and a girl. Thankfully it never got contentious but we both had careers and that’s where his concern was and the added stress on both of us especially me. But in the end he said it was my body and that he would be all in if that was what I wanted to do. So we had a third - a girl - and he was all in. I’m not sure how I would have reacted if he tried to pull a veto card. We’ve now been married a very long time and neither of us has ever pulled a veto card on a big decision as we have always been good about talking things through.

[Anonymous]

My DD is 19 and just started dating this guy who loves kids. He says he “wants 8 kids but would settle for four”. Gag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wanted three but my husband wanted two given we already had a boy and a girl. Thankfully it never got contentious but we both had careers and that’s where his concern was and the added stress on both of us especially me. But in the end he said it was my body and that he would be all in if that was what I wanted to do. So we had a third - a girl - and he was all in. I’m not sure how I would have reacted if he tried to pull a veto card. We’ve now been married a very long time and neither of us has ever pulled a veto card on a big decision as we have always been good about talking things through.

Excuse me what? You vetoed having 2 kids.

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman, mom and a serious breadwinner. I think the truth is breadwinners (men or women) are more likely to want small families. OP, are the women in your circle also breadwinners? bc I seriously doubt it.

[Anonymous]

We have a great family with 2 and we can financially afford it easily. 3 kids would be slightly tight and we would not be able to have space to maneuver financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman, mom and a serious breadwinner. I think the truth is breadwinners (men or women) are more likely to want small families. OP, are the women in your circle also breadwinners? bc I seriously doubt it.

Agreed. Is it all moms that secretly want three? Or just SAHMs? I can sort of understand the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The no vote is the final vote. Doesn't matter if it's the woman or the man. If both don't agree to another child, the answer must be no, in fairness to the child.

This.

Agree and to add, in fairness to the whole family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman, mom and a serious breadwinner. I think the truth is breadwinners (men or women) are more likely to want small families. OP, are the women in your circle also breadwinners? bc I seriously doubt it.

Agreed. Is it all moms that secretly want three? Or just SAHMs? I can sort of understand the latter.

I'm a SAHM and stopped at 1, even though DH wants 3+. Same among my SAHM friends, most only want 1 or 2, while their husbands want a whole flock. I've also heard many older men whose children are grown regret that they didn't have more.