Say something or MYOB?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Just living together for the kids” is the oldest lie in the book.

Then all 100 posters here who say the same thing must be liars. It's a common theme on DCUM. Sad, married, miserable people just sticking it out for the kids. Waiting until.....some stupid milestone like, until they are in college.

That’s why suckers fall for it.

[Anonymous]

I think 8/01 14:54 has the exact right approach.

You either need to tell your friend or you need to say something to the guy, but do NOT tell the mom. That will not end well for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you tell the single friend that you CAN NOT hear any word from her re: this man. I am surprised you would choose to have a friend, a friend who would toy with the idea of getting involved with a married man.

Wow. You are holier than thou. Regardless, if you had read closely you'd have noticed friend already said she wouldn't be dating married man.

Not the PP you're responding to but:

Yet friend felt a need to...what, exactly? Make herself feel wanted by noting that this man was pursuing her? Letting OP know about this pursuit as a kind of brag? Or just relaying it as news? OP, was your friend feeling happy to be pursued or skeeved out that he was married or...both?

Sounds like the friend's decision not to sleep with this man was based more on not ex ting drama than on not wanting to help him break his vows. Not a good look on anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you tell the single friend that you CAN NOT hear any word from her re: this man. I am surprised you would choose to have a friend, a friend who would toy with the idea of getting involved with a married man.

I’m pretty sure OP told her friend the situation as soon as she realized who the guy was.

[Anonymous]

To the wife:
"I'm so sorry to hear that you and DH are getting a divorce."
When she says she's not getting a divorce.

"Really? My friend is being heavily pursued by a guy who looks EXACTLY like you DH. He says that they are only together for the kids and getting a divorce soon. I'm so sorry. Weird, that there is a guy that looks EXACTLY like DH pursing my friend"

[Anonymous]

Why not invite your friend and the wife out to brunch? Then let your friend and the wife talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not invite your friend and the wife out to brunch? Then let your friend and the wife talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not invite your friend and the wife out to brunch? Then let your friend and the wife talk.

Hot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell the single friend that you know him and that he is NOT in the middle of a divorce. And then, ideally, she will say something to him and scare him straight.

Telling the wife directly may open a massive can of worms for you at school. She could be thankful or, paradoxically, she may try to "shoot the messenger." You don't want this drama at your kids' school between you and another set of parents. You may get a reputation as "meddling" and it may result in your kid getting excluded from group activities. Bad, bad news.

I'd use the single friend as a conduit to warn this guy to stop being a sleaze.

Agree with this approach.

Another vote for this approach. I would not tell the wife directly.

Yep, another vote for this advice. It don’t see why your friend would be angry with you and besides, it sounds like she isn’t interested in him anyway.

[Anonymous]

OP tell your single friend, or don't, that the guy is married (if she's your good friend, this is a no-brainer), but all the people expecting her to swoop in and tell off the married guy are looney. It is no more her responsibility than yours to "read" that marriage and intervene. Given the info that dude is full of it (as they aways, and I mean always are with this "the marriage is over we're just together for the kids" nonsense), her best bet is to block, ignore, and keep it moving. Married men who pull this stuff are toxic, and unfortunately, everywhere. She can do better. If she's your friend, help her do so.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you tell her you know him and its a bad idea. You tell the mom as well. I'd want to know if it was my husband.