What do you do to make your house feel like a home for your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not necessarily interested in decor, although interesting that this was the interpretation. More of an abstract question about what makes you feel at home. It could be anything from how you were greeted, how things were celebrated, rituals of the everyday, traditions like game night, favorite foods cooked often. I’m just curious what things stand out in people’s memories or what they do to create it for their kids. Of course joy and love... I guess I’m asking what the specifics of that are. For some people it will be joking around while cleaning up. Or playing games together. What makes you feel loved and happy at home — sometimes it’s a small thing. I think repetition is important.

This is really random but my 2.5 year old DS just adores flowers. So whenever we are out on a walk he picks some and then we bring them home and put them in a little vase on our kitchen counter. Ever since spring we've always had a little vase full of flowers he's picked that we add to over the course of a week, and now he even arranges them himself. I mean it's everything from weed flowers like dandelions to actual flowers from our garden. It warms my damn heart so much for some reason every day when I look at them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not necessarily interested in decor, although interesting that this was the interpretation. More of an abstract question about what makes you feel at home. It could be anything from how you were greeted, how things were celebrated, rituals of the everyday, traditions like game night, favorite foods cooked often. I’m just curious what things stand out in people’s memories or what they do to create it for their kids. Of course joy and love... I guess I’m asking what the specifics of that are. For some people it will be joking around while cleaning up. Or playing games together. What makes you feel loved and happy at home — sometimes it’s a small thing. I think repetition is important.

But you realize that our children are not us, right? What I loved about home is not what my daughter loves about home. You have to pay attention to your kids and see what feedback they give you.

I feel like this is a silly statement. It is objectively true, but I think that what you do to make your home feel welcoming matters and leads your kids to find their own points of enjoyment. But the tone you set for your family through your home is the seed of what your children love.

For me we cook a lot and listen to music a lot, always while eating/cooking. We dance a lot too. Our playroom is also very like, hard to describe but while it is separated from the living room it is not THAT separated. There is a visual link and a blending. And like other posters have said, we let the kid detritus seep in without being too worried about it. It is their home too.

Also I put up as many pictures as I can and take as many pictures as I can. When I walked through our house when we were shopping the family before us had walls covered in photos and just evidence of children was everywhere. The house was clean but it felt so lived in and like the family loved each other deeply. The feeling made me buy the house! So the constant blending and the displaying of artwork and photos and just the clear presence of children felt in every square inch.

I’m the one on the first page who said you can feel the homes that are happy and secure and safe and where there’s lots of love. This is what I mean. That FEELING made you buy the house but another family in that house who didn’t love each other the same could have made that house have a totally different vibe. And no matter what house those families go to, they will feel homey and full of love. Vice versus- unhappy families carry a miserable vibe with them into any house too, no matter how objectively beautiful or how many toys there are. It is not items or rituals or anything like that. Its not stuff we all do like decorate for holidays. It’s an undefinable quality but some homes just have it because the families imbue them with it.

[Anonymous]

I let them leave their shit all over the place.

[Anonymous]

I've been told by many people that our home is warm, comfortable and welcoming.

- It's clean, but not too clean. It's lived in. My kids can make messes. They have chores, but I'm not going to turn into the cleanliness police. That means there is usually a pile of shoes and backpacks (during the school week).

- Warm lighting and paint colors. Nothing is garishly colorful, nor all white, beige, or gray.

- I have a few family photos, but nothing embarrassing, and nothing oversized. There is not a wall of baby pictures, or awkward year photos on display. I use my personal office space for those photos.

- My kids have more leeway in their rooms. Again, they are cleaned regularly, but it's their personal space. It's not a magazine spread, or decorated to my taste per se. If they want a poster on the wall -- go for it. Right now my 17 year old has art his girlfriend made for him. A bit gag worthy, but it's his space.

Home should be a place to really relax and unwind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not necessarily interested in decor, although interesting that this was the interpretation. More of an abstract question about what makes you feel at home. It could be anything from how you were greeted, how things were celebrated, rituals of the everyday, traditions like game night, favorite foods cooked often. I’m just curious what things stand out in people’s memories or what they do to create it for their kids. Of course joy and love... I guess I’m asking what the specifics of that are. For some people it will be joking around while cleaning up. Or playing games together. What makes you feel loved and happy at home — sometimes it’s a small thing. I think repetition is important.

But you realize that our children are not us, right? What I loved about home is not what my daughter loves about home. You have to pay attention to your kids and see what feedback they give you.

I feel like this is a silly statement. It is objectively true, but I think that what you do to make your home feel welcoming matters and leads your kids to find their own points of enjoyment. But the tone you set for your family through your home is the seed of what your children love.

For me we cook a lot and listen to music a lot, always while eating/cooking. We dance a lot too. Our playroom is also very like, hard to describe but while it is separated from the living room it is not THAT separated. There is a visual link and a blending. And like other posters have said, we let the kid detritus seep in without being too worried about it. It is their home too.

Also I put up as many pictures as I can and take as many pictures as I can. When I walked through our house when we were shopping the family before us had walls covered in photos and just evidence of children was everywhere. The house was clean but it felt so lived in and like the family loved each other deeply. The feeling made me buy the house! So the constant blending and the displaying of artwork and photos and just the clear presence of children felt in every square inch.

I’m the one on the first page who said you can feel the homes that are happy and secure and safe and where there’s lots of love. This is what I mean. That FEELING made you buy the house but another family in that house who didn’t love each other the same could have made that house have a totally different vibe. And no matter what house those families go to, they will feel homey and full of love. Vice versus- unhappy families carry a miserable vibe with them into any house too, no matter how objectively beautiful or how many toys there are. It is not items or rituals or anything like that. Its not stuff we all do like decorate for holidays. It’s an undefinable quality but some homes just have it because the families imbue them with it.

I agree you can't fake it but I do think that the spirit of a home can be seen in the house. But I also agree that just putting up a bunch of photos isn't what makes the feeling, its the content of them how they vibe with the rooms of the kids and how it feels connected.

I didn't put this above but I think another thing that helps create that 'feeling' in our home is that there is always an open door. We never mind if kids come through, always have a snack ready for sharing and always invite people in. It is a spirit of welcomeness that yes, can't be replicated unless you also feel it in your heart.

[Anonymous]

I think the kids made my house feel like a home.

[Anonymous]

When selling our home, the stager hired by our realtor asked us to set out a glass cake dome and fill it with cupcakes or other baked goods like muffins. She said "people think of fruit on the kitchen island and baked goods when they think of a home". We did end up selling the house in a weekend so I guess it couldn't have hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When selling our home, the stager hired by our realtor asked us to set out a glass cake dome and fill it with cupcakes or other baked goods like muffins. She said "people think of fruit on the kitchen island and baked goods when they think of a home". We did end up selling the house in a weekend so I guess it couldn't have hurt.

Lol stagers are wild like that. “Turn the clocks to 3 pm, it makes your clock face look nicer and people don’t feel off kilter.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pay the mortgage, the light bill, and we have hot water and hvac. There’s also food in the fridge. Is this a real question?

Slap a couple of pictures on the fridge and you're golden!

[Anonymous]

Growing up, we didn't have a big house or a lot of money but I still have comforting memories of my childhood home. It's absolutely more about what takes place inside the house than what is done TO the house that determines whether it feels like a home.

Things that I do with my kids in my home include (I did most of these things growing up as well):

-we listen to music of all kinds, nearly every day (Beatles music is on heavy rotation these days)

-we celebrate and decorate for kids' birthdays and holidays

-movie night with homemade popcorn

-we play board games and card games together

-we read books and spend time talking with each kid every night before bed

-we eat dinner together nearly every night

-everyone helps out with chores and projects around the house

-put up a few framed pictures of the kids and us as a family in different rooms of the house

I have no idea what, if any, of this will resonate with my kids. They are still young, so I imagine that this list will change as they get older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just asked my 9 year old what her favorite thing about
home is. She said her room. My 5 year old said snuggling with her stuffed animals.

So give them a room and stuffed animals. Really OP, they’re kids.

My children share a room. They're fine too.

[Anonymous]

Be there when they need you.

- Interesting snacks laid out when they get home from school
- Quiet places to unwind where they aren’t peppered with questions or judged
- Being available to talk when THEY want to talk (my teen always seems to choose late night)
- Home cooked dinners
- Twinkle lights & candles throughout the house
- Lots of blankets & pillows
- Traditions (Valentine’s Day Big cookie, lots of Christmas decorations, gingerbread making contest on Christmas Eve after church, grilling on summer nights with the backyard twinkle lights on — I really like twinkle lights - LOL)
- A pet and toys to play with the pet
- Watching a movie together with takeout food
- soft music in the background during the day
- Empathy when they’re going through a tough time and not giving advice unless asked
- Warm cookies on a rainy day
- Playing those silly app games that I hate ?
- Neat house (but not perfect)

[Anonymous]

People seem really focused on food and decor. Great success for the marketing industry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People seem really focused on food and decor. Great success for the marketing industry.

One of these things is not like the other. Food is a basic necessity that can affect your mind, body, and spirit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I let them leave their shit all over the place.

You know, there's something to this. I have a hard time resisting the impulse to move my kids' crap to their rooms, but I felt a deep sense of rejection when my mom would round up my belongings and put them in a bag at the bottom of the stairs for me to bring up. I felt like, "this is supposed to be my house too. If you can leave shoes downstairs, why can't I?" NOTHING on the main floor was mine. And we didn't live a museum by any means. It felt like a rejection, for sure.