What do you do to make your house feel like a home for your kids?

[Anonymous]

I decorate for the holidays/seasons with items derided by devotees of the Home and Design forum. My mom always did this and I loved it as a kid. Now my kids love it and it makes me think of my mom in a nice way (her aging process has been fraught with issues and it's been hard to remember what she was like as a mom). My holiday stuff is a mix of family stuff kid decorations made at school and tchotkes from places like Marshalls.

[Anonymous]

As long as your home is clean and pleasant with some comfortable furniture and natural light, I don’t think the material stuff matters. I think it’s more important to make lots of memories inside your house - family dinners, game night, movies, holidays, etc. I think it’s also important that parents create an atmosphere where their kid’s are comfortable being themselves, and they can feel like their home is a safe refuge. You can have the most beautiful decorations, but if your kids don’t feel safe and relaxed around you, it’s not going to be a home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pay the mortgage, the light bill, and we have hot water and hvac. There’s also food in the fridge. Is this a real question?

+1.

+2

Seriously... Pinterest make work crap...

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm screwed.

"Kid, I adore you and show you in all the ways how much you and Dad mean to me. But I guess you'll never feel like this is home because it's so cluttered and I hate cleaning..."

[Anonymous]

We leave the toaster on the counter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You cannot do it with decor or “things.” It’s the vibe you cultivate as a family. I can feel it the second I walk into houses. Some feel like warm, happy, safe and secure family homes where everyone loves to be and others do not and it has nothing to do with the quality of furniture, what’s on the walls or shelves.

This. Home is not decor or things.

Home for me is my mom’s steady rotation of her home cooked specialties. It was watching Braves games with my dad. Playing catch with my brother in the yard; camping with him in the yard. Laying on the floor of my bedroom in the square of sunshine through the window reading or napping.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m not necessarily interested in decor, although interesting that this was the interpretation. More of an abstract question about what makes you feel at home. It could be anything from how you were greeted, how things were celebrated, rituals of the everyday, traditions like game night, favorite foods cooked often. I’m just curious what things stand out in people’s memories or what they do to create it for their kids. Of course joy and love... I guess I’m asking what the specifics of that are. For some people it will be joking around while cleaning up. Or playing games together. What makes you feel loved and happy at home — sometimes it’s a small thing. I think repetition is important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not necessarily interested in decor, although interesting that this was the interpretation. More of an abstract question about what makes you feel at home. It could be anything from how you were greeted, how things were celebrated, rituals of the everyday, traditions like game night, favorite foods cooked often. I’m just curious what things stand out in people’s memories or what they do to create it for their kids. Of course joy and love... I guess I’m asking what the specifics of that are. For some people it will be joking around while cleaning up. Or playing games together. What makes you feel loved and happy at home — sometimes it’s a small thing. I think repetition is important.

Holiday traditions, like putting up the Christmas tree. Movie nights, especially in wintertime with blankets and popping popcorn and roasting chestnuts to go with it. Baking and cooking together (especially special holiday meals and treats). Game nights. Family birthday celebrations. Reading the Sunday paper together.

[Anonymous]

When they were little, we took a chapter out of the Montessori at home book and did not restrict their access to the house, but taught them how to treat the home and let natural consequences happen if things broke or got spilled on (we didn't buy anything too precious, obviously). We framed some of their art and put it up with the other art. We incorporated them into the household routines, like taking out trash and compost, moving laundry through the cycle, putting dishes away, watering plants. We developed our own family traditions and inside jokes.

When they were older, we included them in household decisions like meals and vacations and let them make choices in decorating their rooms when it was time to change the little kid decor to teen decor. We also encouraged respect for other people's spaces, particularly bedrooms and the home office; and respect for shared spaces (don't leave your stuff in the middle of the family room).

Those were the broad goals anyway! We didn't expect (or get) perfection.

[Anonymous]

A few things come to mind. When guests visit I tell them to feel free to park in the driveway. It's an attempt to make them feel at home.

We decorate for the holidays and I let the kids decorate for their birthday every year. Family decisions that can be up for a vote are (what move should we see?) to make everyone feel included. I also emphasize team work in the sense that our family is a unit and it takes all of us participating to function well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not necessarily interested in decor, although interesting that this was the interpretation. More of an abstract question about what makes you feel at home. It could be anything from how you were greeted, how things were celebrated, rituals of the everyday, traditions like game night, favorite foods cooked often. I’m just curious what things stand out in people’s memories or what they do to create it for their kids. Of course joy and love... I guess I’m asking what the specifics of that are. For some people it will be joking around while cleaning up. Or playing games together. What makes you feel loved and happy at home — sometimes it’s a small thing. I think repetition is important.

But you realize that our children are not us, right? What I loved about home is not what my daughter loves about home. You have to pay attention to your kids and see what feedback they give you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not necessarily interested in decor, although interesting that this was the interpretation. More of an abstract question about what makes you feel at home. It could be anything from how you were greeted, how things were celebrated, rituals of the everyday, traditions like game night, favorite foods cooked often. I’m just curious what things stand out in people’s memories or what they do to create it for their kids. Of course joy and love... I guess I’m asking what the specifics of that are. For some people it will be joking around while cleaning up. Or playing games together. What makes you feel loved and happy at home — sometimes it’s a small thing. I think repetition is important.

But you realize that our children are not us, right? What I loved about home is not what my daughter loves about home. You have to pay attention to your kids and see what feedback they give you.

Yup, I know. Just trying to get ideas and inspiration. When kids are young they don’t have enough experience to know in advance so you have to try different things.

[Anonymous]

I just asked my 9 year old what her favorite thing about
home is. She said her room. My 5 year old said snuggling with her stuffed animals.

So give them a room and stuffed animals. Really OP, they’re kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not necessarily interested in decor, although interesting that this was the interpretation. More of an abstract question about what makes you feel at home. It could be anything from how you were greeted, how things were celebrated, rituals of the everyday, traditions like game night, favorite foods cooked often. I’m just curious what things stand out in people’s memories or what they do to create it for their kids. Of course joy and love... I guess I’m asking what the specifics of that are. For some people it will be joking around while cleaning up. Or playing games together. What makes you feel loved and happy at home — sometimes it’s a small thing. I think repetition is important.

But you realize that our children are not us, right? What I loved about home is not what my daughter loves about home. You have to pay attention to your kids and see what feedback they give you.

I feel like this is a silly statement. It is objectively true, but I think that what you do to make your home feel welcoming matters and leads your kids to find their own points of enjoyment. But the tone you set for your family through your home is the seed of what your children love.

For me we cook a lot and listen to music a lot, always while eating/cooking. We dance a lot too. Our playroom is also very like, hard to describe but while it is separated from the living room it is not THAT separated. There is a visual link and a blending. And like other posters have said, we let the kid detritus seep in without being too worried about it. It is their home too.

Also I put up as many pictures as I can and take as many pictures as I can. When I walked through our house when we were shopping the family before us had walls covered in photos and just evidence of children was everywhere. The house was clean but it felt so lived in and like the family loved each other deeply. The feeling made me buy the house! So the constant blending and the displaying of artwork and photos and just the clear presence of children felt in every square inch.

[Anonymous]

Always seem super excited and happy when kid walks into a room,
Every room of a playroom
Colors all over and soft things even though my personal style is black and white minimalism
Cook and bake together
Homemade snacks that are dupes of store bought but organic and tasty
Friends are always allowed over to play
Open indoor/outdoor space
Lots of sounds and music
Pets and nature
Lots of fun features, some things are very age specific like a slide next to our stairs and I think we will get maybe 5 more years of used out of that, but some can grow with the kid over time, like the garden cottage that is a theater/playhouse can be the band practice room when older maybe