What does being a good mom look like to you?

[Anonymous]

A good mom is one who cares whether she is one or not. If you are wondering whether you are a good mom you probably are. Sounds like you and your kid had a rough day, cut yourself some slack.

[Anonymous]

My kid had huge problems growing up due to mental health issues, and I had to be on his side when his behavior was bad because everything else was hostile terrain to him. It took quite a ways into his 20s but he has turned out well and he absolutely appreciates that I stuck by him. Sometimes when a particular day was simply horrible and definitely NOT what you think being a parent will be like, I would consciously tell myself that in sticking it out I absolutely was being a good parent.

The awful parent just wouldn't worry about whether she or he was a good parent, would be too wrapped up in self.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a broad sense, putting your child's needs above your own. Turning to the specifics...Having one parents who stays at home. Breastfeeding for at least a year. Home cooking fresh, simple, organic meals.

Sorry honey, you've got it all wrong. Have you never heard them say on the plane, insert the oxygen mask on yourself first, then help others? If you don't take care of yourself first, you will be unable to take care of others. The rest is sanctimonious crap made possible by wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unconditional love, but beyond that I think it can look differently depending on the child.

I love my two girls equally, but wow, I have mothered them so differently due to their personalities.

Be prepared for your girls to possibly never accept your reasons for doing this. This way of parenting backfired on both my MIL and my own mother in ways they never imagined possible.

Neither DH nor I are close to our siblings - or our parents, even though they were generally good people with good intentions.

I’m triggered by this too. Definitely something that happened between my parents and their 2 daughters. Can you tell us more about how do you parent your daughters differently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a broad sense, putting your child's needs above your own. Turning to the specifics...Having one parents who stays at home. Breastfeeding for at least a year. Home cooking fresh, simple, organic meals.

hahahahahahahahahahahah

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a broad sense, putting your child's needs above your own. Turning to the specifics...Having one parents who stays at home. Breastfeeding for at least a year. Home cooking fresh, simple, organic meals.

hahahahahahahahahahahah

Troll

It’s the younger version of BKL. Or the same troll the phrase if “fresh, simple, organic meals” sounded similar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a broad sense, putting your child's needs above your own. Turning to the specifics...Having one parents who stays at home. Breastfeeding for at least a year. Home cooking fresh, simple, organic meals.

hahahahahahahahahahahah

Troll

It’s the younger version of BKL. Or the same troll the phrase if “fresh, simple, organic meals” sounded similar

Seriously. I know women who do all those things and who are also raging narcissists, with no patience for normal kid shenanigans, who keep their kids isolated from other kids and parents. No amount of breastfeeding and fancy organic food is going to make up for that kind of a miserable childhood.

[Anonymous]

Once my son was in his bedroom, I was off duty unless he was hurt or sick. Put the kid to bed and leave. No need for multiple demands like "Stop talking! No more playing!" Who cares? Put your kid to bed and be done with it. You can't force a kid to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Whenever a child is distressed or anxious, more connection - not "boundaries" and "limits" - is always the better choice.

If that is the approach from the beginning, your child is far more likely to be cooperative about everything.

To me, this is the key of parenting.

I wrote above the first reply about roots & wings

Read Janet Lansbury who is influenced by Magda Gerber.

My child has a lot of issues, but I stay with him through it all.

I dont' want to be a santimommy but I have appreciated when strangers observing us together comment on our connection and my support of him in various situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unconditional love, but beyond that I think it can look differently depending on the child.

I love my two girls equally, but wow, I have mothered them so differently due to their personalities.

Be prepared for your girls to possibly never accept your reasons for doing this. This way of parenting backfired on both my MIL and my own mother in ways they never imagined possible.

Neither DH nor I are close to our siblings - or our parents, even though they were generally good people with good intentions.

In what ways did you mother them differently?

[Anonymous]

Not being afraid to go there---step into the messiness and not bring your own junk into it. Be there for your kids, make sure they know you have their back so they know that they can fly. Don't just try to explain away stuff that is too intense for you to process.

[Anonymous]

I think that lots of parents "love" their kids, even unconditionally. But being a good parent requires putting your child's needs ahead of your own. Being responsible and mature enough to do what is best for your child even when it's painful or difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that lots of parents "love" their kids, even unconditionally. But being a good parent requires putting your child's needs ahead of your own. Being responsible and mature enough to do what is best for your child even when it's painful or difficult.

FWIW I responded earlier that my kids KNOWING they were unconditionally loved was the marker. Because I agree, its one thing to do it, another to make sure they know and feel secure and confident in that because it means that even when you make decisions they don't like, they understand you're coming from a place of loving them.

[Anonymous]

If you toddlers don't have rotten teeth and they eat 3 meals a day, don't watch TV all day, their clothes gets washed, and have some form of skeep structure and don't just pass out whenever... You are a good mom in my book.

[Anonymous]

It can look like a lot of very different things to me.

But mostly, someone who can give a warm hug when one is needed. (And knowing when it's needed - even when it's not obvious)