Weekend plan with/without DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the main issue is that the 3 year old and OP are up and ready to start the day at 7 am while the DH is probably still sleeping and wants the first "out of the house" activity to be lunch. Most 3 year olds need to burn energy off in the morning.

Sure. But then, if OP wants to do her activity w/ DS alone, why can't she do that in the morning? Plan one that isn't an hour away and where DS doesn't have to leave "early" to meet DH for brunch; then have DH take him to the playground/for a walk while she does whatever (joins if she wants to; gets alone time if she doesn't). Alternatively, have DH do the playground in the morning (perhaps every other week if sleeping in is the real issue) and then meet OP for family lunch and then OP can do an afternoon outing w/ the kid.

FWIW parent-kid time and family time can both work. We have 3 young kids and, when DH isn't working, we typically split the kids for age appropriate activities in the morning and then do a family thing in the afternoon/evening; in the summer, when we have fewer activities, we typically do family outings, often to the pool. Our best friends also have 3 and they split the mornings so that one parent takes all 3 kids to activities (youngest often just hangs around) each morning so the other can sleep in or work and then they usually swap in the afternoons & do family evenings... Sometimes they all socialize as a family in the afternoon + evening w/ friends, etc. Less family time than is our style, but works for them. (And their marriage is strong, they do more date nights/alone time than we do; it's just a preference/work management thing.)

I don’t get the feeling that the OP just “has” her husband do something for hours on every Saturday afternoon just because she told him to.

She could probably do something closer by on the morning, then meet her DH for lunch if/when he felt like it. But I understand why she wouldn’t want to do that every weekend.

I only phrased it like that because that’s what she said her DH wanted to do. I was trying to explain how they could both do what they wanted.

It really doesn't sound like that from the OP.
I don't think that he is making this plan of going to lunch and the playground, and she is stomping on it. I think he just wants to sleep in, then kind of do what he feels like doing. Usually that's get some lunch and maybe take a walk. Mostly, it's just to NOT do whatever she has planned for the day.

I am sure that she can do her thing, then say that she is leaving and it's up to him to take care of their child, but I don't imagine that he is going to like it much or that is what he *wants.*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the main issue is that the 3 year old and OP are up and ready to start the day at 7 am while the DH is probably still sleeping and wants the first "out of the house" activity to be lunch. Most 3 year olds need to burn energy off in the morning.

Sure. But then, if OP wants to do her activity w/ DS alone, why can't she do that in the morning? Plan one that isn't an hour away and where DS doesn't have to leave "early" to meet DH for brunch; then have DH take him to the playground/for a walk while she does whatever (joins if she wants to; gets alone time if she doesn't). Alternatively, have DH do the playground in the morning (perhaps every other week if sleeping in is the real issue) and then meet OP for family lunch and then OP can do an afternoon outing w/ the kid.

FWIW parent-kid time and family time can both work. We have 3 young kids and, when DH isn't working, we typically split the kids for age appropriate activities in the morning and then do a family thing in the afternoon/evening; in the summer, when we have fewer activities, we typically do family outings, often to the pool. Our best friends also have 3 and they split the mornings so that one parent takes all 3 kids to activities (youngest often just hangs around) each morning so the other can sleep in or work and then they usually swap in the afternoons & do family evenings... Sometimes they all socialize as a family in the afternoon + evening w/ friends, etc. Less family time than is our style, but works for them. (And their marriage is strong, they do more date nights/alone time than we do; it's just a preference/work management thing.)

I don’t get the feeling that the OP just “has” her husband do something for hours on every Saturday afternoon just because she told him to.

She could probably do something closer by on the morning, then meet her DH for lunch if/when he felt like it. But I understand why she wouldn’t want to do that every weekend.

I only phrased it like that because that’s what she said her DH wanted to do. I was trying to explain how they could both do what they wanted.

It really doesn't sound like that from the OP.
I don't think that he is making this plan of going to lunch and the playground, and she is stomping on it. I think he just wants to sleep in, then kind of do what he feels like doing. Usually that's get some lunch and maybe take a walk. Mostly, it's just to NOT do whatever she has planned for the day.

I am sure that she can do her thing, then say that she is leaving and it's up to him to take care of their child, but I don't imagine that he is going to like it much or that is what he *wants.*

I think you are fairly obviously giving the OP way too much credit.

[Anonymous]

I don't allow DH unsupervised time with DS, and DH is happy for DS and me to do things without him. It works out great. Maybe DH hangs out with us on weekends twice a month. It's honestly so much easier and DS doesn't hear us bicker or anything, and DH can better control his meltdowns. I can take DS to active things or places with music/noise and crowds. Also DS is able to play with his little friends and cousins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't allow DH unsupervised time with DS, and DH is happy for DS and me to do things without him. It works out great. Maybe DH hangs out with us on weekends twice a month. It's honestly so much easier and DS doesn't hear us bicker or anything, and DH can better control his meltdowns. I can take DS to active things or places with music/noise and crowds. Also DS is able to play with his little friends and cousins.

Perfect, you’re raising Oedipus.