A failure to plan on your end does not constitute an emergency on mine. A PSA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Glad you are not part of my village OP, where we moms help each other out. We don't tally who did what this week, because we know we've all got each others' backs. If I drove more during camp, other mons in my village drive more during the school year and vice versa. Friends help each other out, without whining, complaining, etc.

Go crawl back into your dark hole, and stay there by yourself. And oh, BTW, hope you are never in a jam of having made summer camp plans back in January and then started a new job and couldn't drive, or have an aging parent with an emergency, or heaven forbid you or your spouse have a health emergency and you need to count on friends to help you out...

If everyday is an emergency, then it’s no longer an emergency - it’s just poor planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Glad you are not part of my village OP, where we moms help each other out. We don't tally who did what this week, because we know we've all got each others' backs. If I drove more during camp, other mons in my village drive more during the school year and vice versa. Friends help each other out, without whining, complaining, etc.

Go crawl back into your dark hole, and stay there by yourself. And oh, BTW, hope you are never in a jam of having made summer camp plans back in January and then started a new job and couldn't drive, or have an aging parent with an emergency, or heaven forbid you or your spouse have a health emergency and you need to count on friends to help you out...

“All have each others’ backs” is quite different than being used by a non-giver. I’ve been in both situations and it sucks when a village situation turns into a gimme situation.

Say no.

[Anonymous]

OP, most of these moms posting are probably SAHMs whose time is flexible. Or they can step away from their R&F sales so 10 minutes is not a big deal.

Working parents totally get you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, most of these moms posting are probably SAHMs whose time is flexible. Or they can step away from their R&F sales so 10 minutes is not a big deal.

Working parents totally get you.

I’m a working parent and I don’t.

I actually found the SAHMs needed more help. 3 kids and a H that is virtually never home.

They need carpools since their H work long hours and travel

They need help with their kids to volunteer or get kids to 2 different camps.

But I don’t care if they need help. It’s hard to try to do and be everything. I haven’t seen my kids today, I’m more than happy to drive to and from practice without a “payback”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Glad you are not part of my village OP, where we moms help each other out. We don't tally who did what this week, because we know we've all got each others' backs. If I drove more during camp, other mons in my village drive more during the school year and vice versa. Friends help each other out, without whining, complaining, etc.

Go crawl back into your dark hole, and stay there by yourself. And oh, BTW, hope you are never in a jam of having made summer camp plans back in January and then started a new job and couldn't drive, or have an aging parent with an emergency, or heaven forbid you or your spouse have a health emergency and you need to count on friends to help you out...

“All have each others’ backs” is quite different than being used by a non-giver. I’ve been in both situations and it sucks when a village situation turns into a gimme situation.

Say no.

Yep, I do, after giving the person a chance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here and I want to hear from user parents on their reasoning.. which seem to be plenty on DCUM going by the responses

I guess I am a user parent, I guess. It’s mostly that if someone asks me to do a favor, then I try to see if I can make it work. So, if someone asks me to cover xyz at work, then my first step would be to say, “let me just see if my neighbor can take my child to soccer.” I tend to assume that other people are the same way.

[Anonymous]

What do you mean by “nail down reliable care for your child?” The child is signed up for camp with a teammate who lives nearby. What kind of reliable care do you think she should line up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, most of these moms posting are probably SAHMs whose time is flexible. Or they can step away from their R&F sales so 10 minutes is not a big deal.

Working parents totally get you.

I’m a working parent and I don’t.

I actually found the SAHMs needed more help. 3 kids and a H that is virtually never home.

They need carpools since their H work long hours and travel

They need help with their kids to volunteer or get kids to 2 different camps.

But I don’t care if they need help. It’s hard to try to do and be everything. I haven’t seen my kids today, I’m more than happy to drive to and from practice without a “payback”.

Working parent who disagrees. I have multiple kids, husband who works and I can seem to plan, I coordinate with others in my neighborhood but don’t have frequent fauxmergencies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, most of these moms posting are probably SAHMs whose time is flexible. Or they can step away from their R&F sales so 10 minutes is not a big deal.

Working parents totally get you.

I’m a working parent and I don’t.

I actually found the SAHMs needed more help. 3 kids and a H that is virtually never home.

They need carpools since their H work long hours and travel

They need help with their kids to volunteer or get kids to 2 different camps.

But I don’t care if they need help. It’s hard to try to do and be everything. I haven’t seen my kids today, I’m more than happy to drive to and from practice without a “payback”.

Working parent here, and I agree with you.
But I work in medicine, so I am a helper by nature, and the idea that I could control my day down to the minute is laughable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Glad you are not part of my village OP, where we moms help each other out. We don't tally who did what this week, because we know we've all got each others' backs. If I drove more during camp, other mons in my village drive more during the school year and vice versa. Friends help each other out, without whining, complaining, etc.

Go crawl back into your dark hole, and stay there by yourself. And oh, BTW, hope you are never in a jam of having made summer camp plans back in January and then started a new job and couldn't drive, or have an aging parent with an emergency, or heaven forbid you or your spouse have a health emergency and you need to count on friends to help you out...

NP here -

You have give and take situations where you ask someone to help you out with your kid in an emergency and they graciously help you out in the pinch. It's casual, nobody is keeping score, but it's a give and take.

Then you have the freaking users, who impose on you over and over again, it's a major pain in the tushy, and they get mad when you finally speak up. Good riddance to these jerks. They add drama nobody needs.

I've been in both situations. Get rid of the users in your life, nobody needs them. And don't let them make you feel bad about saying no, but understand that's one of their manipulative tactics to get you to say yes.

[Anonymous]

You agreed to carpool knowing they were in two different age groups. Your mistake, lesson learned. Suck it up for this few weeks and don’t carpool with this family again. On emergency days perhaps bring her kid to your house and have her come get him. Or drag her kid on an errand on the way home so he asks his mom to come get him alone next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, most of these moms posting are probably SAHMs whose time is flexible. Or they can step away from their R&F sales so 10 minutes is not a big deal.

Working parents totally get you.

I’m a working parent and I don’t.

I actually found the SAHMs needed more help. 3 kids and a H that is virtually never home.

They need carpools since their H work long hours and travel

They need help with their kids to volunteer or get kids to 2 different camps.

But I don’t care if they need help. It’s hard to try to do and be everything. I haven’t seen my kids today, I’m more than happy to drive to and from practice without a “payback”.

Working parent who disagrees. I have multiple kids, husband who works and I can seem to plan, I coordinate with others in my neighborhood but don’t have frequent fauxmergencies.

How big of an emergency does it really need to be to ask someone to go ten minutes out of their way?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, most of these moms posting are probably SAHMs whose time is flexible. Or they can step away from their R&F sales so 10 minutes is not a big deal.

Working parents totally get you.

I’m a working parent and I don’t.

I actually found the SAHMs needed more help. 3 kids and a H that is virtually never home.

They need carpools since their H work long hours and travel

They need help with their kids to volunteer or get kids to 2 different camps.

But I don’t care if they need help. It’s hard to try to do and be everything. I haven’t seen my kids today, I’m more than happy to drive to and from practice without a “payback”.

Working parent who disagrees. I have multiple kids, husband who works and I can seem to plan, I coordinate with others in my neighborhood but don’t have frequent fauxmergencies.

Reread

I am a working parent who plans too. But the SAHMs have H that are mostly absent and need help and I’m more than happy to help them... fauzmergencies, lack of planning, overwhelmed by being the default parent.

Idk ... I help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here and I want to hear from user parents on their reasoning.. which seem to be plenty on DCUM going by the responses

My thought, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Glad you are not part of my village OP, where we moms help each other out. We don't tally who did what this week, because we know we've all got each others' backs. If I drove more during camp, other mons in my village drive more during the school year and vice versa. Friends help each other out, without whining, complaining, etc.

Go crawl back into your dark hole, and stay there by yourself. And oh, BTW, hope you are never in a jam of having made summer camp plans back in January and then started a new job and couldn't drive, or have an aging parent with an emergency, or heaven forbid you or your spouse have a health emergency and you need to count on friends to help you out...

If everyday is an emergency, then it’s no longer an emergency - it’s just poor planning.

Yes. One extra day... ok, crap happens. More than that? Poor planning. Or other plans fell apart and she needs to be honest with OP.