If you're a working mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, seriously? Page two of the thread you're talking about:

"Wow.

I love being a SAHM. I can’t imagine being away from my kids all day. Some days I wish I was away at work, but then I realize how great it is to be with them. It’s hard and difficult and boring and lonely, but I personally could never be away from them for 8 hours a day."

THIS is the kind of stuff that makes people made. And it took just over a page to occur. Then there was more, but you're pretty deluded if you think that the thread was super pleasant until some WOHM started something. Go back and really read it without your blinders on.

Exactly, exactly, exactly this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, seriously? Page two of the thread you're talking about:

"Wow.

I love being a SAHM. I can’t imagine being away from my kids all day. Some days I wish I was away at work, but then I realize how great it is to be with them. It’s hard and difficult and boring and lonely, but I personally could never be away from them for 8 hours a day."

THIS is the kind of stuff that makes people made. And it took just over a page to occur. Then there was more, but you're pretty deluded if you think that the thread was super pleasant until some WOHM started something. Go back and really read it without your blinders on.

EXACTLY. I WOH and didn't comment on that thread because I don't really care what someone else does with their time. But comments like these were all over that thread, so let's not make it out like the WOHM swooped in and turned an otherwise lovely thread nasty...

I didn’t even read the thread in question but yes, those kinds of statements about working moms suck.

And as a working mom, I also think that comments about SAH parents expressing it / finding it hard to SAH also suck. This is especially when people are talking about suffering olympics- can we not all agree that we have NO IDEA what other people are going though? I’ve found perceived “easier” point of my life to be the most challenging. Just because a SAH parent doesn’t have three elderly parents, a partner who works 200 hours a week, an elderly dog, a 4000 sq ft home with 2 acres of lawn, and sits as a volunteer on two boards, doesn’t mean they are not finding life a challenge. Quiet moments can often be the most isolating and painful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, seriously? Page two of the thread you're talking about:

"Wow.

I love being a SAHM. I can’t imagine being away from my kids all day. Some days I wish I was away at work, but then I realize how great it is to be with them. It’s hard and difficult and boring and lonely, but I personally could never be away from them for 8 hours a day."

THIS is the kind of stuff that makes people made. And it took just over a page to occur. Then there was more, but you're pretty deluded if you think that the thread was super pleasant until some WOHM started something. Go back and really read it without your blinders on.

I don’t see this comment as offensive to wohm. Its the same as saying “I love having one kid, I can’t imagine having two kids it’s not for me.”

If you are offended by that then I think you are being over sensitive and have guilt issues you need to own and address. I frankly can’t handle being with my 2.5 year old all day and have no guilt about it but hey if she’s thriving and can be a great mom that way than good for her!

[Anonymous]

I’m a former SAHM, now working mom (and I commented in that thread about my SAHM experience). SAHMs are FAR more brutal and cruel to working moms than the reverse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally it doesn't bother me. What does bother me is when I hear SAHMs who have kids in preschool or other full-time educational settings and don't have unusual other commitments talk about how hard their lives are.

Yes, it's difficult taking care of young kids all day. No, it's not reasonable to draw an equivalency between working FT and having kids and staying at home while your kids are in school.

It's fine to say "hey, my life is easier than others and I'm grateful for that." The suffering Olympics is tiresome.

This. I WOHM, and I don't care what other people do so long as they don't make comments that suggest that SAHMs are better parents, or that WOHMs are selfish or whatever. But listening to SAHMs with kids in school talk about how busy they are and how hard their lives are...yeah, I roll my eyes. Sure, you might have special circumstances, like caring for an elderly relative or something, but acting like your life is so hard is silly. If I stayed at home, the logistics of my life would be so much easier (the finances, on the other hand, would not). It doesn't bother me or offend me, I just think it's ridiculous. IME, honest SAHMs admit that staying at home means their life is easier, and their family's life is easier, at least logistically.

+1 I was a SAHM when my kids were young BECAUSE IT MADE MY LIFE EASIER. If it made my life harder, I've had gone back to work! I agree, it's not the suffering Olympics. I stayed home because I enjoyed it and it was less stressful for the whole family, not because I think childcare will damage my child (which I don't, I'm sure my kids would have been fine in childcare but I was happier at home). Financially it worked for us and I had opportunities to freelance occasionally to keep up my career connections. So, why wouldn't I pick what made me happier?

[Anonymous]

As someone who has lived in 3 major cities in the past five years, there is no war on women like there is in the DC area. Never have I seen women fighting women like I have here. It amazes me, as the DMV is so progressive in other ways. Please stop beating up other women whether you work in or out of the home for pay, work part time in or out of the home, work for no money, volunteer, stay at home, raise children, help an elderly parent, or simply enjoy being a person who inherited a trust fund/won the lottery/or retired early because of other funds. Do what works for you and your family, and stop judging others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a former SAHM, now working mom (and I commented in that thread about my SAHM experience). SAHMs are FAR more brutal and cruel to working moms than the reverse.

Nope. Former WOHM recent SAHM. The opposite is true IME.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has lived in 3 major cities in the past five years, there is no war on women like there is in the DC area. Never have I seen women fighting women like I have here. It amazes me, as the DMV is so progressive in other ways. Please stop beating up other women whether you work in or out of the home for pay, work part time in or out of the home, work for no money, volunteer, stay at home, raise children, help an elderly parent, or simply enjoy being a person who inherited a trust fund/won the lottery/or retired early because of other funds. Do what works for you and your family, and stop judging others.

Have you seen this in real life or are you pretending DCUM is anything other than trollville?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, seriously? Page two of the thread you're talking about:

"Wow.

I love being a SAHM. I can’t imagine being away from my kids all day. Some days I wish I was away at work, but then I realize how great it is to be with them. It’s hard and difficult and boring and lonely, but I personally could never be away from them for 8 hours a day."

THIS is the kind of stuff that makes people made. And it took just over a page to occur. Then there was more, but you're pretty deluded if you think that the thread was super pleasant until some WOHM started something. Go back and really read it without your blinders on.

I don’t see this comment as offensive to wohm. Its the same as saying “I love having one kid, I can’t imagine having two kids it’s not for me.”

If you are offended by that then I think you are being over sensitive and have guilt issues you need to own and address. I frankly can’t handle being with my 2.5 year old all day and have no guilt about it but hey if she’s thriving and can be a great mom that way than good for her!

I would more liken the comment in the prior thread to someone with two kids saying: I love having two kids. I can’t imagine having only one kid and not giving my kid a sibling, etc.

I would never say that. To each his own and who know why someone has one kid / is working. Maybe they have fertility issues or maybe they have to work to make money tho would like to SAH.

[Anonymous]

I’ve done both. It doesn’t bother me. We’re all parents. Both work flies are difficult and have both similar and different challenges. I really missed having peers when I was at home, online groups and forums were invaluable. I get tips from other working parents the same way. Bring on all the discussions, I’m not going to diss your life.

[Anonymous]

None of it is personal. That’s what I find bizarre, emotional reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a former SAHM, now working mom (and I commented in that thread about my SAHM experience). SAHMs are FAR more brutal and cruel to working moms than the reverse.

As someone who has done both at different times, this was also my experience.

But the thing is, it was still very few people total. So I think there is just a core of unhappy people out there and they lash out sometimes.

[Anonymous]

My 3 year old really enjoys watching me get ready for work. She gushes, So pretty Mommy! in a way that makes me feel like I look like a total frump on the weekends. She loves coming to the office with me and runs right into her playroom. At home, she often asks to go with me to work. When I'm on a conference call, she shushes her dolls. I feel like my kid is very supportive of her working mom. Am I the only one who feels like there's a good balance for me and family with work and home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a former SAHM, now working mom (and I commented in that thread about my SAHM experience). SAHMs are FAR more brutal and cruel to working moms than the reverse.

As someone who has done both at different times, this was also my experience.

But the thing is, it was still very few people total. So I think there is just a core of unhappy people out there and they lash out sometimes.

Yup it’s a small but nasty and vocal group driving things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3 year old really enjoys watching me get ready for work. She gushes, So pretty Mommy! in a way that makes me feel like I look like a total frump on the weekends. She loves coming to the office with me and runs right into her playroom. At home, she often asks to go with me to work. When I'm on a conference call, she shushes her dolls. I feel like my kid is very supportive of her working mom. Am I the only one who feels like there's a good balance for me and family with work and home?

She has a private playroom in your office? Who are you, marissa Mayer?