SAHM - Does your spouse call you during the day to check on you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a jerk. I'd not answer, and tell him that I was too busy completing various tasks to take his trifling phone calls.

jesus! that ^^^^ is a bit over the top, don't you think? All OP said was that her DH calls her during the day to "check on her". You took quite the leap by calling him a jerk, when you know nothing about him, or for that matter and perhaps more importantly you know zero about OP.

her reaction to him calling her during the day actually says more about her - she is feeling insecure about her life right now. She doesn't like where she is right now in terms of her accomplishments. yet here you are beating up her DH.

Touched a nerve, buddy?

[Anonymous]

Yes every day at about 3 pm. Just to check in and see how things are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a jerk. I'd not answer, and tell him that I was too busy completing various tasks to take his trifling phone calls.

jesus! that ^^^^ is a bit over the top, don't you think? All OP said was that her DH calls her during the day to "check on her". You took quite the leap by calling him a jerk, when you know nothing about him, or for that matter and perhaps more importantly you know zero about OP.

her reaction to him calling her during the day actually says more about her - she is feeling insecure about her life right now. She doesn't like where she is right now in terms of her accomplishments. yet here you are beating up her DH.

you must be new here. Routinely the harpies will jump into the mix, completely read into things (i.e., make sh&t up, projecting their own woes in life) and just bash the man in question. welcome to the thunder dome that is DCUM.

[Anonymous]

DH texts to let me know when he’s on his way home. He doesn’t leave at the same time every day, so I told him if he wants me to make his dinner and have it ready when he arrives, he has to let me know when to expect him. We had this discussion when he complained about dinner being cold or late. After he realized I’m not actually clairvoyant, he started being happier with his dinner.

Other than that, we rarely communicate during the day. I’ll text if I need him to pick something up. Either of us will send links to interesting news stories we came across. We never call. I figure I’ll see him in a few hours, so most things can wait until he gets home. I guess he feels the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be worse. I have a friend whose husband installed cameras in their house for security purposes after a rash of burglaries in their neighborhood, but he also uses them to "spy" on her during the day.

He'll send her very passive aggressive texts like "I thought we were going to get the pantry reorganized today? But it's after 1, you have to pick up the kids soon, and Mary is still there with you. What's our game plan?" Or my personal favorite, "I'll assume since you're having cake at lunch that you'll skip having a piece after dinner, right?" I was preset for that one and it took every ounce of self control not to smack the camera with a broom or at least flip him off.

We all tell her to stick up for herself but she's very "when we discussed having kids, we picked me to stay home and him to work. He makes the money, so he sets how the house should flow and work."

That husband can't be doing all that much work for his own job if he has that much time to monitor every single little detail of what she's doing - yikes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could be worse. I have a friend whose husband installed cameras in their house for security purposes after a rash of burglaries in their neighborhood, but he also uses them to "spy" on her during the day.

He'll send her very passive aggressive texts like "I thought we were going to get the pantry reorganized today? But it's after 1, you have to pick up the kids soon, and Mary is still there with you. What's our game plan?" Or my personal favorite, "I'll assume since you're having cake at lunch that you'll skip having a piece after dinner, right?" I was preset for that one and it took every ounce of self control not to smack the camera with a broom or at least flip him off.

We all tell her to stick up for herself but she's very "when we discussed having kids, we picked me to stay home and him to work. He makes the money, so he sets how the house should flow and work."

This is insane. WTH does she put up with it?!

Because she doesn't have a job and she can't support herself, obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Texts yes. But not for the reasons you say. He asks how my day is. What I'm up to. If I need him to bring anything home. We would have serious marriage problems if he was texting to make sure I wasn't laying around.

Same

DH is a medical doctor. He doesn’t have much time to worry what I’m doing. He just knows things are getting done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be worse. I have a friend whose husband installed cameras in their house for security purposes after a rash of burglaries in their neighborhood, but he also uses them to "spy" on her during the day.

He'll send her very passive aggressive texts like "I thought we were going to get the pantry reorganized today? But it's after 1, you have to pick up the kids soon, and Mary is still there with you. What's our game plan?" Or my personal favorite, "I'll assume since you're having cake at lunch that you'll skip having a piece after dinner, right?" I was preset for that one and it took every ounce of self control not to smack the camera with a broom or at least flip him off.

We all tell her to stick up for herself but she's very "when we discussed having kids, we picked me to stay home and him to work. He makes the money, so he sets how the house should flow and work."

Welcome back 1959.

Your friend should do everything naked so he wouldn’t dare check on her from work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could be worse. I have a friend whose husband installed cameras in their house for security purposes after a rash of burglaries in their neighborhood, but he also uses them to "spy" on her during the day.

He'll send her very passive aggressive texts like "I thought we were going to get the pantry reorganized today? But it's after 1, you have to pick up the kids soon, and Mary is still there with you. What's our game plan?" Or my personal favorite, "I'll assume since you're having cake at lunch that you'll skip having a piece after dinner, right?" I was preset for that one and it took every ounce of self control not to smack the camera with a broom or at least flip him off.

We all tell her to stick up for herself but she's very "when we discussed having kids, we picked me to stay home and him to work. He makes the money, so he sets how the house should flow and work."

This is insane. WTH does she put up with it?!

Didn't you read the post? Because she doesn't have any money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swear SH wants to be sure, I’m not “Lying around” so to speak. Yeah like laundry and cleaning is nothing.

No, but he would only do it once.

[Anonymous]

We talk to each other at least once. Some days multiple times if we have news we want to share or are bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear SH wants to be sure, I’m not “Lying around” so to speak. Yeah like laundry and cleaning is nothing.

No, but he would only do it once.

And then what would you do? Divorce? Good luck in the job market!

[Anonymous]

Never. We don't even communicate most days... only if there's something that came up that can't wait until he gets home or if he's going to be later than usual coming home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could be worse. I have a friend whose husband installed cameras in their house for security purposes after a rash of burglaries in their neighborhood, but he also uses them to "spy" on her during the day.

He'll send her very passive aggressive texts like "I thought we were going to get the pantry reorganized today? But it's after 1, you have to pick up the kids soon, and Mary is still there with you. What's our game plan?" Or my personal favorite, "I'll assume since you're having cake at lunch that you'll skip having a piece after dinner, right?" I was preset for that one and it took every ounce of self control not to smack the camera with a broom or at least flip him off.

We all tell her to stick up for herself but she's very "when we discussed having kids, we picked me to stay home and him to work. He makes the money, so he sets how the house should flow and work."

JFC that is horrendous. I'm so sorry for her that she has been emotionally abused to the point that she believes that situation is ok. Man oh man, would I have a thing or two to say to that colossal narcissistic abusive a-hole.

[Anonymous]

No, he asks how my day is or if I'd like something from the store on his way home, like wine or chocolate.

We purposefully rotate chores so whenever he thought housekeeping didn't take much time when we first moved in together, I'd have him do it. He always apologized.

It can be about feeling resentful and stressed and directing it towards you. The person berating his wife and installing cameras is abusive and she should work towards leaving.