Conflicted about attending child's recital, help me decide DCUM
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Anonymous
| Ok kid just came over specifically to ask if we were going to be able to come and had an answer for a couple of my gentle attempts to get out of it so we're going. I'm sure this will be an adventure but pps are right I'll feel better tomorrow having gone. |
Anonymous
In our house DH (who doesn't have sports practices but does have other meetings and practices every week) would probably offer to stay home with the kids so I could go. Or I'd stay home and he'd go to the concert. Does your DH know the boy's situation as fully as you do, OP? Does he get, as you do, that having at least one of you there would really be supportive and kind? Missing a regularly scheduled weekly activity is not the end of the world nor is it "letting down the team." I'd bet other players on his team miss practices at times to attend their kids' school events (or miss practice to make it possible for their spouses to attend events). And yeah, he's not your kid, but your own kids are still several years away from having school activities in the evenings. So it's not like DH is going to miss practice lots of times for kid stuff. Being kind to this kid right now might help him out next time he's feeling a bit left out and then remembers you or DH came just to see him. If you're worried the boy will start to expect you at all his events, please don't. You can handle future invitations as they come up. And it's nearly the end of the school year so it's not like he'll have a lot more of these events in coming months. By next school year you'll have a new baby and may truly be unable to attend if he invites you to something. So why not make an extra effort to attend this time? Adults can give up one night of their activities to make an exception for a child whom they know as well as you seem to know this boy who's in your house all the time. I'd talk to DH. If DH won't give up even one practice I'd hope he'll change that approach when your own kids have events. |
Anonymous
| Huh. I wrote the post above just as you posted, OP! I'm glad you're going. Just wish you could go without your kids. But it's great that you said yes. It could mean more to him than you know. |
Anonymous
| You are doing a kind thing. |
Anonymous
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You going is something that boy will never ever forget. When he's 50 he'll still remember that you took the time to go to his recital.
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Anonymous
And you might always remember the smile and wave he gives you from the stage. |
Anonymous
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I would probably attend if the kid asked me directly.
(Yes....I am such a mush when it comes to kids!) It will mean a lot to him & he will remember your presence for a very long time. However if you feel it will put you out - Then you can always bow out. Promise to attend any upcoming recital and/or ask his parents for a picture or video of it. Keep in mind: —>> He IS just an innocent kid. 
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Anonymous
| Yay, OP. I’m glad to hear you are going (although I agree it was a tough call and would have been totally okay for you to bow out). Let us know how it goes. |
Anonymous
| Op, when I had a 3/1 year old at home, bedtime was sacred and I felt scared to deviate...now that I’m older and my kids are older, I realize how rigid I was and missed out on a lot. I would put my two kids in their pajamas and otherwise get everything ready for bedtime so I could get home and throw them into bed. That boy will be so happy you’re there!! |
Anonymous
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Dear OP and PP's who encouraged you to go: Thank you for this. I'm at home with a really crappy cold (and a chronic illness) and am in a bad mood and was sort of all "well of course she shouldn't go ..." and then I started reading your posts and stepping outside of my icky mood and self and putting myself in the little boy's shoes and OF COURSE OP should try to go and OF COURSE the 30-45 minutes of inconvenience to her could mean a lifetime of difference to a kid. Seriously.
And while it'd be okay if something had come up (or comes up) and she hadn't gone, gosh, what a difference a shift in perspective can make .... So thank you for going, for that little guy, and thank you for getting me to remember and realize it is SO not about convenience or illness or even bedtimes and bottles, sometimes. Sometimes, it's about that 'smile and wave' from the stage. Thanks, everybody. |
Anonymous
This thread is nice I like it 
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Anonymous
Grown people PLAY sports and are on teams. I'm not sure why that's weird or unimportant. |
Anonymous
| I would get him a little good luck gift and drop it off with a card saying you are so excited for him and wish you could be there. |
Anonymous
| You will be glad forever that you did it. |
Anonymous
OP here. This wasn't really the issue, we're pretty lax actually on bedtime when the cause is good. And this wasn't really going to mess up bedtime much more dinner. The issue was more I have been really really sick. Like in the ER for fluids barely able to walk up the stairs sick from pregnancy. I have gotten substantially better this week but was dreading the prospect of needing to throw up at an unfamiliar elementary school while alone with my two kids. But I've been a lot better this week so I knew it was a bit of a cop out. But it was fine and way easier than I thought and definitely worth it. It turned out to be lovely and only a half hour. Both the 3 and 1 yo loved watching the kids perform and clapping and the 3 yo loved seeing her friend. I put them in jammies and had snacks, milk and the double stroller and when the kid pointed us out to his friend from the stage and enthusiastically waved I felt silly for even thinking about skipping Thank you dcum for knocking some sense into me! |