Bilingual - children refusing to learn the language.

[Anonymous]

REfuse to respond in English. That's what my mom did growing up. If i wanted something, I needed to work at it by speaking to her in Bengali. it was a PIA back then by I am FLUENT.

[Anonymous]

Sigh. It’s an uphill battle. Kid (6) gets frustrated when I reply in another language , eventually I give up to properly get my point across/communicate.
My 3 year old already has speech delay so I didn’t push it with him.
My DH’s parents immigrated, then had him. They were busy with their nonstop super long hours blue collar jobs, so the grandma, who only spoke her native language, basically raised the kids. Even then, my DH can’t read, can’t write the language. He only understands conversational level. So he speaks English to our kids. English is my second language, but it’s so much effort even using my native language in the house, again because of the extra translating, the pushback, the frustration from the kid. I’m already exhausted when I come home from work.

[Anonymous]

My father didn't let us reply to him in English no matter what. It was a hard rule. He simply ignored us if we tried to say anything to him in English. There was no coddling or compromise when it came to speaking in his native language.

It did not create any resentment or bad relationship between him and myself and siblings. Quite the opposite.

Yes it's a pain, yes he got annoyed and frustrated sometimes. But he was committed to it and stuck with it and now as an adult I speak 4 languages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop speaking English at home. Although I speak only English, my husband only speaks Spanish to the kids and requires that they respond in Spanish. When they speak English or use an English word even, he looks at them blankly and does not respond. If you keep using English with them, they are not going to really learn your language. We have plenty of books in Spanish and watch TV/movies in Spanish but that's just extra. It's the everyday interactions that lead to learning, not teaching.

Huh? Do you all never have family conversations if you only speak English? Do you understand Spanish and just don't really get in the conversation?

[Anonymous]

It is hard, my SIL and brother only speak Spanish at home for the most part. My SIL was a SAHM and only spoke Spanish the first 3 years of the kids lives...and the kids will only talk English! They understand 100% but won't speak it. Even when my SIL's family visits or they go to visit them and people don't speak English, they still barely use any Spanish.

My SIL is extremely frustrated but it but you can't force stubborn kids to speak a language.

[Anonymous]

It's really really hard and you have to make it a priority from the beginning for anything to stick. Mine is still very young (3). But we are making it a priority. Had a nanny who spoke my native language to dd exclusively for 3 years. I only speak to her in the language (to the point that I forget and speak to all little children that way some weekends). We sent her to preschool in that language and dd spends a lot of time with my parents as well. Most nights only daddy can read English books and mommy reads the other ones. Her first cartoons were not in English. She sometimes gets annoyed that I talk to dh in English and says "mommy, no talk English". I have her attention until she's 5 and goes to regular school and then we will find special extra curricular activities for her. And I will have to enforce the ignoring the English as well. I moved here at 10 and my parents did a great job with keep it alive and forcing me and I'm bilingual (for everything except highly specialized things).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids are 7, 5, and 2. We stopped English at home. Kids can speak whatever they want, but we always reply in our language. I don't know how far we'd go if the kids put up a real fight, but for now, it has helped.

agree. Parents need to stop speaking English

[Anonymous]

English may not be the official language of this country butvit is the unofficial official language of the US. Learn ENGLISH! I wish we would have a vote on making English the official language of the US and give free ESL classes and give people two years to learn to speak, read and write English or return to home country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:English may not be the official language of this country butvit is the unofficial official language of the US. Learn ENGLISH! I wish we would have a vote on making English the official language of the US and give free ESL classes and give people two years to learn to speak, read and write English or return to home country.

Dude you missed the point.... in a thread written entirely in English.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:English may not be the official language of this country butvit is the unofficial official language of the US. Learn ENGLISH! I wish we would have a vote on making English the official language of the US and give free ESL classes and give people two years to learn to speak, read and write English or return to home country.

Dude you missed the point.... in a thread written entirely in English.

Lol. MAGA!

[Anonymous]

If it's a huge struggle, then I wouldn't push the outside language classes right now. They can still gain a lot by being spoken to in the other language at home, and you can try formal instruction again in a year or two. Just maintain a commitment to speaking it at home, and the kids will have a foundation they can build upon as they get older. You could also do some simple but fun songs and rhyming and reading in the non-English language.

I think if it feels like a chore or they feel pressured, they are going to push back. Maybe you're pushing too hard. If you let it be a little more natural, it will work out. They may continue to answer you in English, and that's fine. They are learning through hearing you. It also seems to help a lot to take the kids into immersive environments. A trip to visit family or friends in a country where the language is spoken might help a lot.