S/O Crammers vs. Need Spacers: Let's do this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the sake of this discussion, "Crammers" are family/friends who have no problem sharing tight quarters and sub-par conditions for the sake of family togetherness, and Need Spacers are those who have tried and simply can't live that way, even for a few days, even Because Family.

I see it both ways, I really do. But here's what I don't get. Crammers claim to be so laid back and go with the flow, and it's all good and whatever works...until someone doesn't see the world exactly the same way they do. Crammers put guilt trips upon Need Spacers, and cast them as "rigid," "inflexible," and "your priorities are all off," Because Family. If you were truly flexible and down for whatever works, you would let the Need Spacers do what they need to do.

And for the record, I don't think all kids are inherently Crammers who have a jolly good time sleeping 10 deep in Grandma's living room. I can remember tons of sleepless nights at my family's lake cottage with this approach. Yes, it was fun and a great adventure, in many ways. But I was sleepless, anxious and uncomfortable. As a parent now, I know myself, and I know my kids, and we are just not going to be Crammers unless there are truly extreme circumstances at play.

Enjoy cramming--and I truly mean that! But if someone doesn't want to, just move on and leave them alone. If you don't, YOU are the rigid, inflexible one who can't go with the flow.

If your family doesn’t understand you, then stop spending time with them. Seriously. Just spend time with those that appreciate who you are and cut everyone else out of your life. Stop wasting precious minutes of your life on stuff like this.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why my post appeared in tiny font, but I’m the PP who recommends just cutting family out that stresses you out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the sake of this discussion, "Crammers" are family/friends who have no problem sharing tight quarters and sub-par conditions for the sake of family togetherness, and Need Spacers are those who have tried and simply can't live that way, even for a few days, even Because Family.

I see it both ways, I really do. But here's what I don't get. Crammers claim to be so laid back and go with the flow, and it's all good and whatever works...until someone doesn't see the world exactly the same way they do. Crammers put guilt trips upon Need Spacers, and cast them as "rigid," "inflexible," and "your priorities are all off," Because Family. If you were truly flexible and down for whatever works, you would let the Need Spacers do what they need to do.

And for the record, I don't think all kids are inherently Crammers who have a jolly good time sleeping 10 deep in Grandma's living room. I can remember tons of sleepless nights at my family's lake cottage with this approach. Yes, it was fun and a great adventure, in many ways. But I was sleepless, anxious and uncomfortable. As a parent now, I know myself, and I know my kids, and we are just not going to be Crammers unless there are truly extreme circumstances at play.

Enjoy cramming--and I truly mean that! But if someone doesn't want to, just move on and leave them alone. If you don't, YOU are the rigid, inflexible one who can't go with the flow.

If your family doesn’t understand you, then stop spending time with them. Seriously. Just spend time with those that appreciate who you are and cut everyone else out of your life. Stop wasting precious minutes of your life on stuff like this.

+1

[Anonymous]

I have a ton of fond memories "cramming" at my grandparents' lake house as a kid. I have no problems making my kids cram - pallets on the floor, sharing a bed, etc. But I've earned my "space" - DH and I get our own room with at least a queen or we get a hotel. We are TOTALLY fine getting a hotel (and often prefer it). My SIL comes from a 'more the merrier' family and I'm sure she thinks we are total divas but just not worth it to cram for me.

[Anonymous]

My family wants us to stay in a cabin with one bathroom shared between 9 people, and then act disappointed when we don't want to stay the entire time.