How would you feel about preschool teacher saying this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet you get into frequent fall outs with your friends/family/acquaintances. The teacher was not at all out of line and it’s astonishing that you throw out the word trauma.

It’s also possible she wants to save her from an off kilter employer.

Nope, I don't. If nanny wanted to leave her off-kilter employer, she would have done so already. People have tried to poach her many times, but apparently, she's happy working for me!

Oh, I am sure she is! If nanny is staying with you, and not applying to other job, what's with the drama? I am going to guess that preschool teacher was trying to save this poor woman!

Now who's being dramatic. Oh boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you 100% sure that taking the teaching job would require her to completely quit working for your family? I was in a similar situation and it has worked out wonderfully. Our nanny taught while my child was in a different class at the school.

Nanny was sounding hopeful that she could work at the school then easily pick DD up since they would be at the same school. But I think for that to work, I'd have to extend DD's day by an hour since I don't think any of the teachers' day ends right at pick-up.

Well, I don't know your school. In our case, right- the teacher/nanny's day did not end right at the time my childrens' day ended because there was some cleanup/prep for the next day involved. It wasn't an hour each day, more like 15-20 minutes after. My kids also went to school about 20 minutes early to "help" set up. They thought it was fun. The mostly played and sometimes did extra crafts. I think they liked being the only kids who got to be in the classrooms at those times. I didn't care because that's pretty much the same thing they would be doing with our nanny at home. I guess if that's a dealbreaker for you, then the teaching and nannying positions are mutually exclusive.

For what it's worth, I think it's a fair assumption by the preschool teacher that because your nanny works part time, she would be able to fill some of the hours she wasn't working without disrupting her arrangement with your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, this is nothing to be mad about. Day-cares are consistently short staffed. Nobody is going to be traumatized FFS, as you say. I hope your nanny applies and gets the job and they pay her more than you do! Because honestly if you are this nasty, why would she keep working for you?!

How am I being nasty? And no, I'm positive that the school won't pay her more than me on an hourly basis. Aside from the fact that I pay well, I know the teachers at this school are underpaid and given poor benefits. I wouldn't have sent DD to this school had I known, but she had already started there.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a shitty school so I wouldn’t worry about your old nanny wanting to work there over your part time gig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, this is nothing to be mad about. Day-cares are consistently short staffed. Nobody is going to be traumatized FFS, as you say. I hope your nanny applies and gets the job and they pay her more than you do! Because honestly if you are this nasty, why would she keep working for you?!

How am I being nasty? And no, I'm positive that the school won't pay her more than me on an hourly basis. Aside from the fact that I pay well, I know the teachers at this school are underpaid and given poor benefits. I wouldn't have sent DD to this school had I known, but she had already started there.

Does your nanny want another part-time job? If you block her from getting this job, which could certainly be compatible with keeping the part-time schedule with you as well, you're just a bad person, flat out, and deserve to loose your nanny. As you know it's hard to find part-time nannies, and you ought to be bending over backwards to keep a good one. BTW, we had this exact arrangement for several years - our part-time nanny worked at DS's preschool too - and it worked out just fine. Yes, I sometimes had to adjust hours differently than I would if she only worked for me ... but I'm not a d*ck who stands in the way of full employment for someone who needs it, so I didn't mind it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No different than in any other professions trying to poach good employees. Nannying and preschools seem more personal because it's childcare but it's the same.

OP here. If it were one of the other teachers, I would be annoyed, but not feel like a line was crossed. Shouldn't DD's preschool teacher feel a sense of responsibility to HER students and not encourage actions that would traumatize them?

It's the teachers responsibility to provide for the students best they can while students are in their care. That includes hiring the most qualified staff etc.

So are you agreeing with me or what? Because DD will still be at this preschool, and with the same preschool teacher next year. So doesn't teacher's responsibility continue with respect to DD? Isn't her duty to DD stronger than her duty to the school to hire good teachers for OTHER classrooms? She's a teacher, not an administrator responsible for hiring teachers.

Let me put this to you plainly: you don't own her. She has NO duty to you or your daughter in her off hours. Particularly not for imagined breaches of said imaginary duty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you 100% sure that taking the teaching job would require her to completely quit working for your family? I was in a similar situation and it has worked out wonderfully. Our nanny taught while my child was in a different class at the school.

Nanny was sounding hopeful that she could work at the school then easily pick DD up since they would be at the same school. But I think for that to work, I'd have to extend DD's day by an hour since I don't think any of the teachers' day ends right at pick-up.

Well, I don't know your school. In our case, right- the teacher/nanny's day did not end right at the time my childrens' day ended because there was some cleanup/prep for the next day involved. It wasn't an hour each day, more like 15-20 minutes after. My kids also went to school about 20 minutes early to "help" set up. They thought it was fun. The mostly played and sometimes did extra crafts. I think they liked being the only kids who got to be in the classrooms at those times. I didn't care because that's pretty much the same thing they would be doing with our nanny at home. I guess if that's a dealbreaker for you, then the teaching and nannying positions are mutually exclusive.

For what it's worth, I think it's a fair assumption by the preschool teacher that because your nanny works part time, she would be able to fill some of the hours she wasn't working without disrupting her arrangement with your family.

First, thanks for not roasting me like everyone else. Your kids' preschool sounds a lot more flexible than ours. I would be fine with extending DD's day by half an hour, I'd have to pay for a full hour, but I can certainly live with that. As to what the teacher assumed - DD's preschool is full-time and likewise, the teachers all work full days. I don't see how she could think that nanny would continue to work for our family even on a PT basis if she was working 40 hours/week at the school.

[Anonymous]

The nanny is her own person. She’s not dumb. She can find other opportunities elsewhere. If you’re worried about losing her, then pay her more and let her know how much you appreciate her.

As for the teacher, it could have been something like, “You’re so good with kids! Have you ever thought about teaching?” Nothing to get your panties in a twist about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No different than in any other professions trying to poach good employees. Nannying and preschools seem more personal because it's childcare but it's the same.

OP here. If it were one of the other teachers, I would be annoyed, but not feel like a line was crossed. Shouldn't DD's preschool teacher feel a sense of responsibility to HER students and not encourage actions that would traumatize them?

It's the teachers responsibility to provide for the students best they can while students are in their care. That includes hiring the most qualified staff etc.

So are you agreeing with me or what? Because DD will still be at this preschool, and with the same preschool teacher next year. So doesn't teacher's responsibility continue with respect to DD? Isn't her duty to DD stronger than her duty to the school to hire good teachers for OTHER classrooms? She's a teacher, not an administrator responsible for hiring teachers.

Let me put this to you plainly: you don't own her. She has NO duty to you or your daughter in her off hours. Particularly not for imagined breaches of said imaginary duty.

What off hours would those be? Teacher was teaching DD's class when she suggested to nanny that she apply for a job. As I already said, teacher and nanny have NO relationship outside of school and their only dealings are at preschool during preschool hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PLEASE tell me you're a troll OP.

Why is it trolling to be concerned about this? I fully support nanny's need and/or desire to work elsewhere and no longer for us if that is what is best for her. I think DD would adjust fine if she didn't see her again, but not if she has to see her on a regular basis caring for other children but not be able to care for her. I don't understand why people can't see how hurtful this could be to a small child.

What?? You think it'd be better for a surrogate parent (as you basically described her) to drop out of her life entirely rather than stay in touch just less frequently? You crazy.

My daughter visited her old nanny for occasional babysitting for several years after we parted ways officially. And when she moved from preschool to kindergarten (in the same school), her favorite preschool teacher was still there, and it was often the highlight of her day when she got to see her on occasion in K, brief though those interactions were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The nanny is her own person. She’s not dumb. She can find other opportunities elsewhere. If you’re worried about losing her, then pay her more and let her know how much you appreciate her.

As for the teacher, it could have been something like, “You’re so good with kids! Have you ever thought about teaching?” Nothing to get your panties in a twist about.

I've said it before, I fully respect and support nanny if she chooses to work elsewhere. We've talked about this multiple times and I know that nannying is not her career of choice. I just have my concerns about her working at DD's preschool while DD is still a student there.

As to the teacher, she definitely didn't say anything offhand like that, according to what nanny told me. It was more like, the school is accepting applications right now, you should apply and go back to teaching.

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn't they want to hire her? Nothing wrong with that. I'm sure you pay double what a preschool does, so I wouldn't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

I would think the same thing I would about any job. If you are offered something better, you take it. It’s called life. Your nanny should definitely take the preschool job. You sound ...difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No different than in any other professions trying to poach good employees. Nannying and preschools seem more personal because it's childcare but it's the same.

OP here. If it were one of the other teachers, I would be annoyed, but not feel like a line was crossed. Shouldn't DD's preschool teacher feel a sense of responsibility to HER students and not encourage actions that would traumatize them?

Nannies are not serfs. They are allowed to seek other positions. Your child is not going to be traumatized by changing nannies, but even if they would be it would be your responsibility as a parent to avoid that, not the responsibility of the preschool teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PLEASE tell me you're a troll OP.

Why is it trolling to be concerned about this? I fully support nanny's need and/or desire to work elsewhere and no longer for us if that is what is best for her. I think DD would adjust fine if she didn't see her again, but not if she has to see her on a regular basis caring for other children but not be able to care for her. I don't understand why people can't see how hurtful this could be to a small child.

What?? You think it'd be better for a surrogate parent (as you basically described her) to drop out of her life entirely rather than stay in touch just less frequently? You crazy.

My daughter visited her old nanny for occasional babysitting for several years after we parted ways officially. And when she moved from preschool to kindergarten (in the same school), her favorite preschool teacher was still there, and it was often the highlight of her day when she got to see her on occasion in K, brief though those interactions were.

No, of course, I think it's better for DD to stay in touch with nanny. Nanny and I have discussed this and she has said she will do regular weekend babysitting if and when she leaves us. I also think DD would be fine if time passed between when nanny stopped working for us during the week and when nanny started working at the school so DD had some time to adjust to nanny leaving. But I think it would be difficult for DD to have to see nanny switch roles so abruptly. Also, every kid is different. DD would probably take it worse than most.