last name dilemma

[Anonymous]

After marriage, I changed my last name to my middle name and took my husbands last name. However, i regretted that move but did not want to deal with all the paper work to change my name again. I just use my first two names and rarely use my husbands. My son has 4 names and the last two are both our last names. We write his first name and then two initials and the last name. I want him to be able to choose what name he wants when he grows up. My husband is the son of an only son and so it was important to him to have his family name. I have other siblings and was fine with that.

[Anonymous]

To the OP: thanks for posting this because I've been agonizing over this myself. It's helpful to read other people's solutions. I kept my name, which is 3 syllables, rare, and I'm the last of my family. My husband kept his name, also 3 syllables, and he proudly traces his ancenstry back 500 yrs... I really cannot think of NOT giving our child both of our names. It will be odd because both names are fairly long and both are not English, but from two different countries... We really did not want to hyphenate, but just put one after the other. Just don't know which one first? I don't want either one ending up as a middle name. I was not even going to do a middle name. I hope our child will not run into trouble, have lost test scores and such!!! Recently I read which last name you may choose depends on state law. Since this is a DC/MD/VA board I assume all this is possible in our area??? People mentioned they did the two last names without hyphen?

[Anonymous]

I named my son with one name and 3 surnames with no hyphen.
I know it sounds crazy but I wanted my son to have my maiden name and my hubbie has 2 surnames... so we went for all three surnames and a short first name (4 letters) with no middle name.

[Anonymous]

Even though I like my maidnen name, part of the reason I wanted to take my husband's name was so we could all have the same last name after we had children. I remember talking to kids and having to ask "What's your mommy's last name?" because I couldn't assume the kid's last name would be the same as his mom's, especially since I knew this particular kid's mom had different fathers for her kids.

I guess I'm just not very progressive and like for things to be easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: People mentioned they did the two last names without hyphen?

I'm one of the posters who did this for myself, but not for my kids (and who didn't like it in the end). The problem with the two name/non-hyphenated thing is that people will automatically hyphenate it for you. So my work email, credit cards, etc. all have a hyphen, even though legally it's not hyphenated. This also drives me crazy! I guess in the end, a lot of things about my last name drive me crazy...maybe it's time to think about switching names...

My dad's last name is dying out. There are no males on that side of the family to carry it out. I thought about keeping my maiden name b/c of that, but then came to the realization that just b/c I keep my name or give my kids that name doesn't mean the name will live on past them. Look at people who form new names with their partners, etc.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, I don't quite understand the need to keep "your" name. You inherited it, and most likely from your father. At the end of the day, it's one man's name or another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, I don't quite understand the need to keep "your" name. You inherited it, and most likely from your father. At the end of the day, it's one man's name or another.

If you are born with a name, grow up with a name, and become a professional adult under that name, that name is Your Name. It doesn't matter if it was your father's name or a name they made up and gave only to you upon birth.

You might be saying that 10 to 20 years after changing your name to your husband's, that name becomes yours. That I can understand. But you've given up your own name in the process and it takes time for the new one to stick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, I don't quite understand the need to keep "your" name.

Tell your soon to be husband this. See what he says when you say, oh you're so lucky, soon you'll get to be Mr. X, X being your last name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be honest, I don't quite understand the need to keep "your" name.

Tell your soon to be husband this. See what he says when you say, oh you're so lucky, soon you'll get to be Mr. X, X being your last name.

Exactly. Your husband's name was "some man's name" when he was born too. His being male and his father being male doesn't mean that he wasn't given a name someone already had when he was born. But I bet he'll fight to keep it now!