Sahms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You define success through your kids! Larlo won his chess tournament last week, and Larla came in second in the science fair. I take credit for it, and can’t wait to post on Facebook to let everyone know what a successful mom I am!

Hell Yeh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You define success through your kids! Larlo won his chess tournament last week, and Larla came in second in the science fair. I take credit for it, and can’t wait to post on Facebook to let everyone know what a successful mom I am!

I realize this is sarcasm but I have two SAHM friends who think like this. It's really pathetic. I don't entertain it anymore.

[Anonymous]

I worked full time, and more. My daughter is a sahm with a husband who supports her choice. She made the better decision. Raising kids is WORK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked full time, and more. My daughter is a sahm with a husband who supports her choice. She made the better decision. Raising kids is WORK.

Does she have a pre-nup?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my early 50s and am basically a SAHM (I do the very occasional short work project a few times a year). You just have to own who you are fully. This is me, full stop. Message: DEAL WITH IT. Don't hide, don't shirk, don't explain it. Just do it, always moving forward.

If somebody doesn't like your "choices", well that says more about them than it does about you. Don't let other people's opinions live in your head rent free. If somebody says, "You're a SAHM? I could never do that" simply say, "Well, you don't have to." Then change the subject.

Or when people say they could never SAHM with kids you could tell them that it does take a special kind of person to embrace and be successful at nurturing and appreciating the wonder and delight of infants and children. You could tell them that you are sad and sorry they aren't able to do that but maybe someday they will manage to develop those skills if they try hard. In the meantime they could just work at some job and let the professionals maintain their children.

And they can pay into their own futures rather than depending on income of a spouse who may or may not be around in the future. We've all seen it.

Yeah I've seen it too. So that's what I did, when I ended my marriage I paid for my own life. After having been a SAHM. Not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You define success through your kids! Larlo won his chess tournament last week, and Larla came in second in the science fair. I take credit for it, and can’t wait to post on Facebook to let everyone know what a successful mom I am!

I realize this is sarcasm but I have two SAHM friends who think like this. It's really pathetic. I don't entertain it anymore.

Oh, please. I see as many bragging parent posts on social media from working moms.

[Anonymous]

You have to give up the notion that you will get external recognition and praise for what is really your own personal decision. You are SAH because it is worth it to you and that has to be enough.

There were times over the years when it all felt so thankless. There were days when the kids were being handfuls and my nerves were a bit frayed. My husband would have a trying day at the office and he would walk in the door feeling grouchy. Instead of noticing that I had managed to get the floors scrubbed and the carpet vacuumed, he would complain about the ceiling fans being dusty....So much for my external validation.

It wasn't bad like that most of the time but on the days that were like that, it was a real downer. I learned that I needed to make it a point to do things that made me feel good each and every day. Exercising, volunteering, reading classics with the kids, visiting my mom, taking the kids to fun places, meeting a friend for lunch, etc.

In other words, you must find intrinsic value/reward to what you are doing. Do not rely on your husband or your kids to validate your worth because they will have bad days when they simply will not be able to do that. You have to know in your heart that what you are doing is important.