Heartbroken that MIL hates me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP the problem her is that you are looking for something that isn't there. This woman is a major ASSHOLE. You need to respect that! You have wonderful parents (it seems) and an otherwise rich life- why are you trying to get approval from a person who is clearly never going to give it?

Find another hobby, find a new friend- do what you need to do to stop looking to her for anything by a source of anger.

She’s a narcissist . Everything is about HER in her little mind.

OP give up and stop trying to make this toxic woman nontoxic- it’s not going to work.

[Anonymous]

If her dislike extends to the kids, then the issue is definitely her, not you.

[Anonymous]

Op, if your own self esteem is so terrible that you can’t see that this woman is awful and that you should be glad if she is out of your life, can you at least see that it will be terrible for your children to have her in their life? She doesn’t want to see her grandchildren, just her son? what kind of a monster does that?

Think of your kids growing up to have so little respect for themselves that they blame themselves for their terrible grandmother not loving them? Well that is what you are modeling for them by trying to win her over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP the problem her is that you are looking for something that isn't there. This woman is a major ASSHOLE. You need to respect that! You have wonderful parents (it seems) and an otherwise rich life- why are you trying to get approval from a person who is clearly never going to give it?

Find another hobby, find a new friend- do what you need to do to stop looking to her for anything by a source of anger.

She’s a narcissist . Everything is about HER in her little mind.

OP give up and stop trying to make this toxic woman nontoxic- it’s not going to work.

x100000

Nailed it.

That woman was angry LONG before you came along, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like your MIL would hate any woman your DH married.

If your DH has moved on from her, his own mother, that should be a sign that you can (and should!) give up hope, too. Her hatred is 100% about her, not about you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Here's what I've never figured out about some women:

If someone isn't losing sleep over you, why are you losing sleep over them?

Focus on your life and spend your precious time with people who want to spend time with you.

[Anonymous]

She’s caustic. Do not engage. Avoid. You are not the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And you want to chase after this woman and be involved in her life exactly why?

+1!!! She is wretched!!! Why do you GAF?? I don’t understand. How can you remotely care about her approval? Perhaps you don’t think much of yourself, and that’s what you should work on in therapy rather than wasting another moment of your life fretting over your MIL. She’s NOT worthy, but you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s caustic. Do not engage. Avoid. You are not the problem.

+1

[Anonymous]

I have to ask:

Are you educated ?

Did you go to college

OR were you not one of those types that went to college and happen to meet him and he is well educated ?

If that’s the case then I can see why,
she thinks you’re a mooch

[Anonymous]

The only important person here is your husband and how he deals with your MIL as she spews venom. She would probably feel this way with anyone he married so it’s not about you. Stay focused on being a good spouse and mother and keep her in your rear view mirror. You need to accept that some people are just mean and spiteful and there is nothing you can do about it. Frankly, it’s time for your husband to step up and shut her down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP the problem her is that you are looking for something that isn't there. This woman is a major ASSHOLE. You need to respect that! You have wonderful parents (it seems) and an otherwise rich life- why are you trying to get approval from a person who is clearly never going to give it?

Find another hobby, find a new friend- do what you need to do to stop looking to her for anything by a source of anger.

She’s a narcissist . Everything is about HER in her little mind.

OP give up and stop trying to make this toxic woman nontoxic- it’s not going to work.

x100000

Nailed it.

That woman was angry LONG before you came along, OP.

Yeah - unfortunately this was my mother. Took me a long time to figure that one out, especially since I’m a nice person.
Steer clear OP. Give her a wide berth and none of your emotional energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to ask:

Are you educated ?

Did you go to college

OR were you not one of those types that went to college and happen to meet him and he is well educated ?

If that’s the case then I can see why,
she thinks you’re a mooch

What?? You’re terrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And you want to chase after this woman and be involved in her life exactly why?

+1!!! She is wretched!!! Why do you GAF?? I don’t understand. How can you remotely care about her approval? Perhaps you don’t think much of yourself, and that’s what you should work on in therapy rather than wasting another moment of your life fretting over your MIL. She’s NOT worthy, but you are.

Perfect word.

[Anonymous]

before i got to reading the numbered reasons i knew she is probably wealthy. Are you trying to please her for inheritance money? if so - sounds like its not happening. i would move on to figuring out how to give your 3 kids education, etc w/o relying on DH family money. It may involve you working, or going back to school to get into a more lucrative occupation.