Why do people asked me where I am from if they don't believe me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am and sick and tired people asking where I am from, because when I tell them I am Hispanic they don't believe me. Eh why are you going to ask if you not going to believe it. Are all Hispanic suppose to look the same? If that is the case then all white people are Racist Trump supporters.

If you dated a Hispanic and he/she/it didn't look like a Hispanic do you think they are lying? What is so wrong with being darker Hispanic? FYI I am also educated not all Hispanics are uneducated

I don't believe is racism I just believe its dumb.

So what is the conversation, then?

"Where are you from?"
"I'm Hispanic."
"Yeah but where are you from?"
"I'm Hispanic."

When I have observed my Latina friends having the racist version of this conversation, it goes like this:

"Where are you from?"
"Michigan."
"Yeah but where are you ORIGINALLY from?"
"Grand Rapids."
"Yeah but where is your FAMILY from?"
"Grand Rapids."

What the questioner means is "What is your ethic origin since you do not look like I expect a person from Grand Rapids, MI to look due to not being white?"

It is perfectly fine to answer the question of where you are from accurately. Responding that you are Hispanic does not answer the question, and I'm not sure what education has to do with anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When someone speaks with an accent, I do ask where they’re from. I certainly hope I’m not offending anyone - it’s simply that I want to know more about them. I would never ask that of someone without an accent, however.

Don’t do this. It can definitely be offensive.

I don’t ask strangers; it’s people I’ve worked with for a while (usually nurse’s aides). We develop a relationship over time and at a certain point I do ask them, usually after they refer to “my country” in conversation.

But I guess I don’t understand what’s offensive about asking where people are from when they speak with an accent that reflects they are from a different country. How is being from someplace else a negative thing? I don’t see it as “less than” in any way, shape or firm so I find it odd that after speaking with someone over time and getting to know them, it would be considered to ask them where they are from originally.

[Anonymous]

^^don’t know why it would be considered offensive

[Anonymous]

My poor coworker will say where she lives across town, then she will say where she went to college, then she will say where she lived before that. It takes 29 questions to get to where she was born if you are just being nosey. If you are genuinely interested and say my adopted daughter is from ____, she opens right up. She is so classy about it but you don’t get to just ask your intrusive question and get away with it from her.

[Anonymous]

This grammar is so poor I would just assume you're not a native speaker and came from another country. So that's probably some of it.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a walking group and I typically ask new people where they're from because this is a transient area (we walk for 2 hours and it's not my first question but a lot of people don't talk much). I don't ask because you're brown. One woman got extremely defiant and started yelling at me that she was from Texas. I met her again a few months later and I overheard her telling someone she just moved here from Pakistan. I didn't give AF where she was from, I was just trying to make conversation, but now I know she lied about it. It was just weird all around.

I'm white and people ask all the time where I'm from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, people who grow up in isolation are often ignorant of the world.

+1

Be aware of who is asking you, OP. Not everyone is ignorant, but in this area there are often very judgy, ignorant people - not very educated (most people expect educated).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, people who grow up in isolation are often ignorant of the world.

+1

Be aware of who is asking you, OP. Not everyone is ignorant, but in this area there are often very judgy, ignorant people - not very educated (most people expect educated).

What?! I think it's the opposite. This area is highly educated and a lot of people have lived overseas either in their childhoods or as FSOs or through work. We're very well traveled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

How does that work? People can already see that you are Asian. Why is it veiled racism and stereotyping trying to learn if you are of Chinese or Taiwanese decent?

Because PP isn't from China or Taiwan! He or she is from freaking Pittsburgh! It's racism and stereotyping to assume that an Asian person is foreign or can't really be from the US. If you must be so bold as to ask what someone's ethnicity is, then use the right words. What is your ethnicity? Not "where are you from" because they're from Pittsburgh.

This. The PP isn't "really" from China or Taiwan. He or she is "really" from Pittsburgh. Just like I am not "really" from Germany, even though my grandparents were born there. I'm "really" from California. But no one asks me where I'm "really" from, because I'm white and so apparently I can "really" be American. If you want to know where someone's family is from originally, then ask that, not "No, where are you *really* from?"

Ok, noted. So it's only racist if asked in exactly that form?
I'm a foreigner and those questions don't bother me at all. Usually people just try to make conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

How does that work? People can already see that you are Asian. Why is it veiled racism and stereotyping trying to learn if you are of Chinese or Taiwanese decent?

Because PP isn't from China or Taiwan! He or she is from freaking Pittsburgh! It's racism and stereotyping to assume that an Asian person is foreign or can't really be from the US. If you must be so bold as to ask what someone's ethnicity is, then use the right words. What is your ethnicity? Not "where are you from" because they're from Pittsburgh.

This. The PP isn't "really" from China or Taiwan. He or she is "really" from Pittsburgh. Just like I am not "really" from Germany, even though my grandparents were born there. I'm "really" from California. But no one asks me where I'm "really" from, because I'm white and so apparently I can "really" be American. If you want to know where someone's family is from originally, then ask that, not "No, where are you *really* from?"

Ok, noted. So it's only racist if asked in exactly that form?
I'm a foreigner and those questions don't bother me at all. Usually people just try to make conversation.

It doesn't bother you because you're a foreigner and you really are from somewhere else. It bothers people who aren't foreigners but are assumed to be and then badgered when the questioner doesn't like the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

But I guess I don’t understand what’s offensive about asking where people are from when they speak with an accent that reflects they are from a different country. How is being from someplace else a negative thing? I don’t see it as “less than” in any way, shape or firm so I find it odd that after speaking with someone over time and getting to know them, it would be considered to ask them where they are from originally.

I don't think it's offensive and I'm from a foreign country. I find it more offensive when people don't want to know more about it and only want to stick to superficial things.

I have pride in my country and pride in the fact that my family immigrated and learned English, so I'm happy if someone notices that. If you worked with me and never wanted to know about my background I'd feel pretty invisible and like you didn't value me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

How does that work? People can already see that you are Asian. Why is it veiled racism and stereotyping trying to learn if you are of Chinese or Taiwanese decent?

Because PP isn't from China or Taiwan! He or she is from freaking Pittsburgh! It's racism and stereotyping to assume that an Asian person is foreign or can't really be from the US. If you must be so bold as to ask what someone's ethnicity is, then use the right words. What is your ethnicity? Not "where are you from" because they're from Pittsburgh.

This. The PP isn't "really" from China or Taiwan. He or she is "really" from Pittsburgh. Just like I am not "really" from Germany, even though my grandparents were born there. I'm "really" from California. But no one asks me where I'm "really" from, because I'm white and so apparently I can "really" be American. If you want to know where someone's family is from originally, then ask that, not "No, where are you *really* from?"

Ok, noted. So it's only racist if asked in exactly that form?
I'm a foreigner and those questions don't bother me at all. Usually people just try to make conversation.

It's racist when the question is based on the assumption that someone isn't fully or truly American, despite being born here, because of how they look. That somehow, even if they are second- or third- or fourth-generation American, they are still foreign. It's not the first question ("Where are you from?") it's the pushback and the refusal to accept an answer that doesn't match the asker's preconceptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

When I answer that I'm originally from Pittsburgh, I'm asked where I'm really from. It's veiled racism. They are trying to stereotype you and you don't fit their mental image of what you should be, so they discredit your answer.

How does that work? People can already see that you are Asian. Why is it veiled racism and stereotyping trying to learn if you are of Chinese or Taiwanese decent?

Because PP isn't from China or Taiwan! He or she is from freaking Pittsburgh! It's racism and stereotyping to assume that an Asian person is foreign or can't really be from the US. If you must be so bold as to ask what someone's ethnicity is, then use the right words. What is your ethnicity? Not "where are you from" because they're from Pittsburgh.

This. The PP isn't "really" from China or Taiwan. He or she is "really" from Pittsburgh. Just like I am not "really" from Germany, even though my grandparents were born there. I'm "really" from California. But no one asks me where I'm "really" from, because I'm white and so apparently I can "really" be American. If you want to know where someone's family is from originally, then ask that, not "No, where are you *really* from?"

Ok, noted. So it's only racist if asked in exactly that form?
I'm a foreigner and those questions don't bother me at all. Usually people just try to make conversation.

It doesn't bother you because you're a foreigner and you really are from somewhere else. It bothers people who aren't foreigners but are assumed to be and then badgered when the questioner doesn't like the answer.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am and sick and tired people asking where I am from, because when I tell them I am Hispanic they don't believe me. Eh why are you going to ask if you not going to believe it. Are all Hispanic suppose to look the same? If that is the case then all white people are Racist Trump supporters.

If you dated a Hispanic and he/she/it didn't look like a Hispanic do you think they are lying? What is so wrong with being darker Hispanic? FYI I am also educated not all Hispanics are uneducated

I don't believe is racism I just believe its dumb.

Why so angry? Seems like you have issues you are not discussing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is Indian and when people ask he says he's from Florida. They know he's lying but what can I do. Sometimes the Indians ask him if he's uh Mexican ?. This is going to catch on to our son. My husband should be proud of his background. Be confident OP.

Why would they know he's lying? I was born in India, but my mom moved to Kansas when I was 6 months old (my dad was already there for school). If anyone asks where I'm from, I say Kansas. They always ask - "no, where are you really from", and I always answer "KANSAS". I know what they're getting at -- "you're not white, what are your origins", but f-that. I'm from KANSAS.