Husband calls me selfish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the kid screaming? No? Then there's no problem.

YOur kids only get attention when they are screaming?

The same rule applies to her husband, so it's only fair to apply it to the kids, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you all eat together at the same time?

Op here. We were sitting down eating at the same time but we eat different foods. My husband has a different diet so he cooks separately. Our almost 3 year old can only do finger foods. We had noodles tonight so it was hard for him to feed himself. i can't wait until my son can feed himself. That should happen before 4?

Some kids need help. You help him.

I totally agree and I think it is selfish for either one of you not to be feeding the child before yourself if he cannot feed himself. Kids go to bed earlier than adults...you can eat later. Are you or DH overweight? I don’t see the need to put your kid last.

[Anonymous]

Why do you feed him?

Either he has a developmental disability or you haven't yet taught him the basic skill of feeding himself because you always feed him.

Do you and husband agree on how you are raising your son? Is this more about parental differences.

You have a problem Your child should eat dinner with you and should be feeding himself

[Anonymous]

Wait, your 3 yr old cant ie a fork or spoon? And only finger foods? He cant eat noodles with his own hands?

Are you not leading by example after all this time? Sit down together, eat together (or at least w/1 parent present at the table), show hin/teach how to hold a fork and poke simple foods?

What does your kid do while you are chowing down on your meal? Is he not sitting at the table with you eating his food?

I'm so confused by your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you all eat together at the same time?

Op here. We were sitting down eating at the same time but we eat different foods. My husband has a different diet so he cooks separately. Our almost 3 year old can only do finger foods. We had noodles tonight so it was hard for him to feed himself. i can't wait until my son can feed himself. That should happen before 4?

Some kids need help. You help him.

I totally agree and I think it is selfish for either one of you not to be feeding the child before yourself if he cannot feed himself. Kids go to bed earlier than adults...you can eat later. Are you or DH overweight? I don’t see the need to put your kid last.

op here. He regressed. He used to feed himself but now he says mommy do it! And no we're far from being overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, your 3 yr old cant ie a fork or spoon? And only finger foods? He cant eat noodles with his own hands?

Are you not leading by example after all this time? Sit down together, eat together (or at least w/1 parent present at the table), show hin/teach how to hold a fork and poke simple foods?

What does your kid do while you are chowing down on your meal? Is he not sitting at the table with you eating his food?

I'm so confused by your post.

Most of the time he runs away while we're having dinner. We don't always have dinner at the same time because we have different work hours. Sometimes I eat early and dh comes home late and other times I work from home late and dh gives him dinner. Yesterday we were all sitting together and we were eating noodles. Dh had a different meal.

[Anonymous]

A three yr old can use a toddler, belted in chair at the table.

I strongly suggest you model good family traditions here & have the entire family at the dinner table every evening.

And no, you are not being selfish OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A three yr old can use a toddler, belted in chair at the table.

I strongly suggest you model good family traditions here & have the entire family at the dinner table every evening.

And no, you are not being selfish OP.

That's not possible for everyone. Some people work evenings you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: op here. He regressed. He used to feed himself but now he says mommy do it! And no we're far from being overweight.

So he's capable but doesn't want to. Don't feed him. He's old enough to feed himself, and he'll quickly learn that if he doesn't feed himself, he goes hungry.

Anonymous wrote: Most of the time he runs away while we're having dinner. We don't always have dinner at the same time because we have different work hours. Sometimes I eat early and dh comes home late and other times I work from home late and dh gives him dinner. Yesterday we were all sitting together and we were eating noodles. Dh had a different meal.

If he runs away from the table, dinner is over for him and he goes hungry. Or bring him back when he runs away, and if he throws a fit, then he goes straight to bed with no dinner. There are many options besides chasing after him with food.

I feel your pain, OP. My DH is similar with our DC, and a lot of my friends' husbands are the same as well. A lot of men refuse to read or learn about parenting, so they don't understand what's developmentally appropriate, how to teach, discipline, etc. It might help if you print out an article on teaching kids table manners for your DH to read.

Is your DC in daycare or preschool? They are usually very strict with meals, so it may be helpful for your husband to watch a meal with them and see what your DC is actually capable of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: op here. He regressed. He used to feed himself but now he says mommy do it! And no we're far from being overweight.

So he's capable but doesn't want to. Don't feed him. He's old enough to feed himself, and he'll quickly learn that if he doesn't feed himself, he goes hungry.

Anonymous wrote: Most of the time he runs away while we're having dinner. We don't always have dinner at the same time because we have different work hours. Sometimes I eat early and dh comes home late and other times I work from home late and dh gives him dinner. Yesterday we were all sitting together and we were eating noodles. Dh had a different meal.

If he runs away from the table, dinner is over for him and he goes hungry. Or bring him back when he runs away, and if he throws a fit, then he goes straight to bed with no dinner. There are many options besides chasing after him with food.

I feel your pain, OP. My DH is similar with our DC, and a lot of my friends' husbands are the same as well. A lot of men refuse to read or learn about parenting, so they don't understand what's developmentally appropriate, how to teach, discipline, etc. It might help if you print out an article on teaching kids table manners for your DH to read.

Is your DC in daycare or preschool? They are usually very strict with meals, so it may be helpful for your husband to watch a meal with them and see what your DC is actually capable of.

^^^^ All of this.

[Anonymous]

If it weren't true, then you wouldn't be angry.

[Anonymous]

+1 to 10:05.

My DH is very involved with the kids but he won’t read parenting articles either. Maybe it’s the equivalent of asking for directions. So I will do leg work and research different ideas etc but I make it our problem to come up with a solution and he is always welcome to bring ideas to the table. If your son has regressed and not feeding himself, whatever you and DH agree on (high chair, what he doesn’t eat goes back on the fridge) you can’t undercut each other and the other parent has to be consistent when they are on deck. I also agree that daycare is typically fairly strict about meals. I know we had to put in the work to stop bottles, use sippy cups, move to table food or whatever was what they were supposed to do at that age because at a certain point the daycare wasn’t catering to multiple meal styles/times if it wasn’t a developmental issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you all eat together at the same time?

Op here. We were sitting down eating at the same time but we eat different foods. My husband has a different diet so he cooks separately. Our almost 3 year old can only do finger foods. We had noodles tonight so it was hard for him to feed himself. i can't wait until my son can feed himself. That should happen before 4?

Some kids need help. You help him.

You help him and all eat your different food together. When you are eating your dh helps DC, when he is eating, you help DC, while all of you sit and eat together.

[Anonymous]

The kid would eat if he were hungry. Since he’s not hungry put it away until the next meal or snack time or go to bed without eating. Have a last eating change a few minutes before bed and that’s that. Some kids eat the bulk of their calories early in the day and barely touch dinner and vice versa. Let the kid regulate his own appetite so he doesn’t end up obese like most Americans who stuff themselves and clean their plate.