Brother in law adopting 2 girls to even out his family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this post only about your brother in law? In the post itself you say "they" but you put all the blame on him? Convenient.

OP here. No, I discussed it with him on the phone and that's about the end of it.

Is he doing it for the wrong reason (i.e to "even out" the family)? Is this the main reason? Or is adopting the opposite gender just icing on the cake?

[Anonymous]

Are the girls sisters? If so, that might be why they're adopting two girls (aside from just wanting to adopt 2 girls).

I have 3 sons and would unapologetically adopt a daughter if I wanted a fourth child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is this post only about your brother in law? In the post itself you say "they" but you put all the blame on him? Convenient.

OP here. No, I discussed it with him on the phone and that's about the end of it.

Is he doing it for the wrong reason (i.e to "even out" the family)? Is this the main reason? Or is adopting the opposite gender just icing on the cake?

OP checking in. I didn't "read between the lines" when I said he wants to even out his family. Those were his words. Not sure where his wife stands on it but that's what he said. So they have an even 2 boys/2 girls.

[Anonymous]

The in depth discussions he and his wife have had about adopting might be more than he wishes to discuss. The reasons and emotions behind their choice may not be any of your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The in depth discussions he and his wife have had about adopting might be more than he wishes to discuss. The reasons and emotions behind their choice may not be any of your business.

Possibly, but I didn't ask. That's the info given to me.

[Anonymous]

How is this any different from people who keep having kids until they get a son/daughter? That they are welcoming children who need a home is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this any different from people who keep having kids until they get a son/daughter? That they are welcoming children who need a home is great.

OP heard one comment and ran with it. No one adopts two kids to even out their family. Kids cost a ridiculous amount of money to raise. Kids who are adopted come with their share of baggage and present parenting challenges that don't arise with bio kids. The decision is not nearly as superficial as OP has presented it and that says quite a bit about OP for presenting it here in the manner that it was presented.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s weird. I have 1 boy and 2 girls and we are starting the adoption process. DH wants one more son, and as I don’t have a preference, I’m going along with it because the country we’re adopting from has mostly boys available anyway. I don’t think the family necessarily will be “balanced” other than superficially - there’s still a lot of variation among individuals of course - but since your brother hasn’t patented girls yet he can’t actually know that experiential yet.

[Anonymous]

*parented (not patented)

[Anonymous]

How close are they to actually adopting? Unless they're adopting older siblings out of the foster system, it would take a LONG time to adopt two infant girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is this any different from people who keep having kids until they get a son/daughter? That they are welcoming children who need a home is great.

OP heard one comment and ran with it. No one adopts two kids to even out their family. Kids cost a ridiculous amount of money to raise. Kids who are adopted come with their share of baggage and present parenting challenges that don't arise with bio kids. The decision is not nearly as superficial as OP has presented it and that says quite a bit about OP for presenting it here in the manner that it was presented.

It may be that OPs BIL hasn't thought a lot about it yet. For some people parenting is a more superficial decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Insane. Buying children to make a matched set. Those poor kids.

You’re an imbecile. Sibling pairs are much harder to place. Kudos to the BIL for making a home for two girls who need one.

[Anonymous]

So? What if he's a better caregiver to these adopted children than what they would have gotten otherwise?

Unless you know he's a bad parent... I don't know why you're posting.

[Anonymous]

I see nothing wrong with this if they are good parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why the disgust, folks? It's not like he and his wife are aborting babies once they find out they're boys. So they have a gender preference. Who cares? Giving a good home to a baby is a good thing.

Agree. As long as they provide a loving and stable home to a child who otherwise doesn’t have a home, I fail to see what’s so bad or questionable.