Brother in law adopting 2 girls to even out his family

[Anonymous]

Why is this post only about your brother in law? In the post itself you say "they" but you put all the blame on him? Convenient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Insane. Buying children to make a matched set. Those poor kids.

Poor kids for getting adopted??

[Anonymous]

They want to give two children a home. Who cares if they have a preference? I wouldn’t want four boys either.

(Yes, yes, I know. You have 8 boys and they’re all angels, and you couldn’t imagine your life any other way.)

[Anonymous]

That's 2 more children given a chance, 2 girls given the gift of a sister and brothers. Much respect and blessings to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's 2 more children given a chance, 2 girls given the gift of a sister and brothers. Much respect and blessings to them.

^^THIS

I can't believe there is any other response to this scenario. I am so thankful for people like your BIL who are adopting.

OP - get thee to a therapist. I can't even understand why you would post this. Jealousy? Realizing your own shortcomings? Guilt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's 2 more children given a chance, 2 girls given the gift of a sister and brothers. Much respect and blessings to them.

^^THIS

I can't believe there is any other response to this scenario. I am so thankful for people like your BIL who are adopting.

OP - get thee to a therapist. I can't even understand why you would post this. Jealousy? Realizing your own shortcomings? Guilt?

Wow, lots of hating on OP in this thread. I read OP not as jealous or guilty (that's quite an assumption, PP) but just as genuinely wondering if a stated motivation of adopting for both specific gender AND numbers of kids was common or not. I would wonder about the motivation too if someone actually seriously said they wanted to adopt to "balance" a family; like another PP put it, that sounds, maybe unintentionally, like collecting a matched set. Are the parents going to adopt any girls who need adopting, though, or are they going to shop around for girls who look like their boys or who are the perfect "fit"...?

Of course it's great if ANY kids who need homes get adopted. But it's legitimate to consider motivation. Any good adoption agency is going to ask a prospective parent why they want two kids at once, why only girls, etc. But there are plenty of agencies that won't ask a thing. Nothing wrong with doing it but I think OP is questioning the motivation behind it--as OP has a right to do, on this anonymous forum.

[Anonymous]

OP - your brother's motivation is fine.

Please don't assume the worst of two people who are opening their home to children.

[Anonymous]

Well, in many cultures, the girls would never have a life, education, etc.

Whether you Like it or not, OP, every family makes decisions about how their family “looks”. There likely isn’t anything nefarious about them wanting girls. Maybe they want to balance out their family. Maybe they want to adopt from an area where girls are not considered people. Maybe they just want the experience of raising girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this post only about your brother in law? In the post itself you say "they" but you put all the blame on him? Convenient.

OP here. No, I discussed it with him on the phone and that's about the end of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's 2 more children given a chance, 2 girls given the gift of a sister and brothers. Much respect and blessings to them.

^^THIS

I can't believe there is any other response to this scenario. I am so thankful for people like your BIL who are adopting.

OP - get thee to a therapist. I can't even understand why you would post this. Jealousy? Realizing your own shortcomings? Guilt?

Bizarre response. I'm okay, thanks!

[Anonymous]

I'm expecting boy #2 and my husband already mentioned adopting a girl. I ignored him mainly because I'm pregnant and need 2 years post pregnancy to think about another baby but the gender preference isn't weird. After 2 boys I'd like a little girl IF we added another. That's not weird.

[Anonymous]

I have four boys, and have considered adopting a girl, specifically. Right now I'm just in the "considering" stage, haven't even discussed it with my husband or anything. I would want to adopt an older child (10+) but still maintain the birth order with my own kids (youngest is now 12) so I want to wait for now.

I had no idea this would be considered "gross."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's 2 more children given a chance, 2 girls given the gift of a sister and brothers. Much respect and blessings to them.

Kids are not gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's 2 more children given a chance, 2 girls given the gift of a sister and brothers. Much respect and blessings to them.

Kids are not gifts.

They’re not possessions or objects, but many people consider their children blessings or gifts. If you have a problem with someone viewing an adopted child as a wonderful gift for their family, maybe you need to reconsider how strictly you’re defining words.

No one has come out and said it, but I really wonder if the nasty responses are a result of OP saying a man has a preference for adopting female children. That’s the only thing that makes sense to me, because adoption is generally a good thing.

[Anonymous]

The odd thing is wanting 2 to balance out having 2 boys. Adopting a girl is fine. Adopting 2 to make it even? Not so much.