Not invited to cousin’s wedding

[Anonymous]

Just send a gift and wish them well.

Are you intending to be gracious about her choice now that she is married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No I just realized our second cousins are here on the east coast. But I know she is not close to them. I'm the only first cousin on this side of the country.

Also my husband just pointed out to me that maybe he (husband) also has extended family in other states and had to make similar decisions. After ruminating all night and part of today, this makes the most sense.

You ruminated way too long on this. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Send a card and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

I'm a pretty direct person and dont really like playing mental gymnastics. I'd just ask her what happened to the relationship that something as dramatic as not being invited to the wedding happened. I'd want to know if I were truly as clueless as you say you are and clear the air. I'm not I to guessing why.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t send a card. She didn’t invite you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a pretty direct person and dont really like playing mental gymnastics. I'd just ask her what happened to the relationship that something as dramatic as not being invited to the wedding happened. I'd want to know if I were truly as clueless as you say you are and clear the air. I'm not I to guessing why.

I would do this too

What is there to lose? The relationship is already damaged

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a pretty direct person and dont really like playing mental gymnastics. I'd just ask her what happened to the relationship that something as dramatic as not being invited to the wedding happened. I'd want to know if I were truly as clueless as you say you are and clear the air. I'm not I to guessing why.

I would do this too

What is there to lose? The relationship is already damaged

I would ask, too. I would find this incredibly hurtful.

[Anonymous]

If you want to have a relationship with her, you should ask her about it in a non-confrontational, non-aggressive way.

For me personally I'd probably be too hurt to continue a friendship with this cousin.

[Anonymous]

If you were that close, wouldn’t you have spoken to her before the wedding about the details and if you weren’t invited, why?

[Anonymous]

How did you treat the then boyfriend when they came to visit you?

[Anonymous]

If you were that close, wouldn’t you have discussed whether you were invited while she was planning the wedding?

[Anonymous]

Why did you expect to be invited if you have been outspoken about how you dislike her husband and disapprove of him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t send a card. She didn’t invite you.

+1 why would you send a card to sth you weren’t invited? Just ignore the event as you were ignored.

[Anonymous]

OP - you should not wish to be included. You have stated you aren't happy re: her choices. Nothing wrong if you are hesitant to bless this union. You come off as pretty icky if you are unhappy because you're going to miss-out on a party and dressing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a pretty direct person and dont really like playing mental gymnastics. I'd just ask her what happened to the relationship that something as dramatic as not being invited to the wedding happened. I'd want to know if I were truly as clueless as you say you are and clear the air. I'm not I to guessing why.

+1 Just ask her! Or “I wanted to reach out to congratulate you, I’m not sure why I wasn’t invited but wanted to let you know I am happy for you”