Why is divorce always the answer to every thread?

[Anonymous]

Because people are jaded and beaten down by their own problems; they don't think work or effort in a problem marriage will work, they really believe it will not. So they suggest divorce.

This is definitely not the place to come for true support if you are in a frame of mind to try to improve your marriage.

[Anonymous]

Gee, why do people in the bitter divorcees forum tell everyone to get divorced?

[Anonymous]

People are lazy on DCUM. In middle school in the 80s, the jock boys loved answering “nuke ‘em into the Stone Age” for every social studies question.

What can the US do about Libya, what would have Kennedy’s best option to address the Bay of Pigs, etc. It’s the dumb go-to answer. There are thoughtful responses but you gotta pick em out, like coffee beans in civet turds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, some of us are old enough to remember when most women were trapped in marriage. With no education, no job, and so much social pressure to stay. In my mother’s generation, it was almost impossible for women to own property by themselves. That often meant being trapped with an adulterous husband, a drunk, a man who couldn’t hold a job, a man who abused her, or a man who abused the kids.

Divorce is the path to freedom from these hells that most women have had to put up with for most of human history.

So it’s a valid option to save your own life. I’m not saying jump to divorce. But you gotta know this is one of the best tools out there for women. And it hasn’t always existed. Many countries still don’t allow divorce. You are still basically your husband’s property.

Where did your mother live where it was impossible to own property one generation ago? Even my husband's illiterate Saudi mom owns property.

What? It was 1975 before women everywhere in the States could have a checking account in her own name alone (not counting exceptions).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, some of us are old enough to remember when most women were trapped in marriage. With no education, no job, and so much social pressure to stay. In my mother’s generation, it was almost impossible for women to own property by themselves. That often meant being trapped with an adulterous husband, a drunk, a man who couldn’t hold a job, a man who abused her, or a man who abused the kids.

Divorce is the path to freedom from these hells that most women have had to put up with for most of human history.

So it’s a valid option to save your own life. I’m not saying jump to divorce. But you gotta know this is one of the best tools out there for women. And it hasn’t always existed. Many countries still don’t allow divorce. You are still basically your husband’s property.

Where did your mother live where it was impossible to own property one generation ago? Even my husband's illiterate Saudi mom owns property.

What? It was 1975 before women everywhere in the States could have a checking account in her own name alone (not counting exceptions).

+1. My folks got divorced in 1973. Mom had to jump through some hoops to get a checking account in her name alone -- which was only possible, I'm told, because she knew the president of the local bank in our small Indiana town.

[Anonymous]

In about 1969 my sister and I got our own bank accounts. I remember because we got them at the same time. I just closed that account a couple of years ago.

Back in those days most purchases were in cash. Many people didn't have bank accounts. You cashed your paycheck, and used the money to buy things. If you had credit, it was store credit which you said off at the store with cash.

What some of the posters are referring to is the Nixon Administration's Equal Credit Act which passed in the early 70s. That took away bank's discretion over who they offered accounts or credit to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because 50% of marriages end in divorce

100% of people who quote this stat are wrong.

[Anonymous]

I have a different perspective - I think people come here and post about their marriage problems when they're at their wit's end. They already know that they have major issues and the possible solutions aren't pretty. So by the time they get to this point where they're asking internet strangers, the marriage might already be done. And your friends/family in real life are never going to tell you to get a divorce, so it's the internet or nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time someone posts about any relationship struggle at all, the immediate answer is almost always divorce

Who are the people who always say this every time in every thread?

Trolls? Unhappy divorced people who want others to share in their misery?
Is divorce just truly not a big deal to some people on here (Certain cultures or classes?)

Divorce is a big deal and can mess up many lives aside from just the couple involved.

Don't get why people are so cavalier about suggesting it every time.

I bet most of the posters suggesting to divorce are hungry lawyers.

[Anonymous]

The Internet is full of people that are tough guys(gals) with respect to other people's marriages. It's like that friend who is always telling you that THEY'D never put up with whatever in THEIR marriage because they don't have to deal with the consequences of blowing up the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Divorce isn't the automatic response.

Woman complaining about non-sex issue: You're not having enough sex with your husband

Woman complaining about sex issue: You're fat.

Man complaining about sex issue: You're a terrible and lazy husband who deserves no affection.

Man complaining about non-sex issue: You're a terrible and lazy husband who deserves this bad treatment.

[Anonymous]

Because there aren't many options when one spouse isn't willing to change.

Yes, divorce is suggested quickly here. Would it be more helpful if more people chimed in "Just accept the fact that your spouse isn't going to change and your marriage will be unhappy."? At least the divorce proponents offer hope...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, some of us are old enough to remember when most women were trapped in marriage. With no education, no job, and so much social pressure to stay. In my mother’s generation, it was almost impossible for women to own property by themselves. That often meant being trapped with an adulterous husband, a drunk, a man who couldn’t hold a job, a man who abused her, or a man who abused the kids.

Divorce is the path to freedom from these hells that most women have had to put up with for most of human history.

So it’s a valid option to save your own life. I’m not saying jump to divorce. But you gotta know this is one of the best tools out there for women. And it hasn’t always existed. Many countries still don’t allow divorce. You are still basically your husband’s property.

I think many women marry the wrong men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gee, why do people in the bitter divorcees forum tell everyone to get divorced?

Because the more people who fail at marriage and get divorce the less personal they take their own faults that led to their divorce. Makes it more of an ‘everyone is doing it’ rather than ‘why did it happen to me’?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s the knee-jerk response for garden-variety marriage woes, but I’ve recommended it when a spouse is abusive/addicted/has terrible anger issues and refuses to get help, particularly when there are children involved. And there are many such threads in this forum.