People who won't visit without their pets: a vent

[Anonymous]

My wife is very allergic to pet dander and we cannot have it in the house. If someone needs to come to visit and will not come without the dogs, I find the closest pet friendly hotel for them to stay in and I find the nearest doggy daycare service. The pets stay with them at the hotel and when they want to come over, they can take their dog to the doggy daycare and leave them there while the owners come to our house.

If it were close family, then I would probably spring for the doggy daycare fees, but otherwise, they are on their own. Take it or leave it. But dogs do not come into our home under any circumstances. I don't care what type of tantrums they throw. My late mother-in-law tried to bring her dog and I gave her these options. She finally decided to board the dog at home and come without the dog.

[Anonymous]

My stepmother is like this. She won't visit her own grandchildren because my sister put her foot down. She has visited them once in the 18 months they (twins) have been alive -- and dragged her dog with her who pooped all over the house. My sister has banished the dog.

[Anonymous]

Frankly, OP, at this point, you lose nothing from putting all your cards on the table with your folks. "Mom and Dad, I love you, but the way this visit went down was really frustrating and hurtful for me. As you know, we have made it work with the dogs before. This time, however, DH has an acute medical issue for which he might need surgery, and we asked you this one time to come up with a plan for the dogs that doesn't involve them being in our home, because that is what DH's doctors have told him has to happen. In response, you are choosing not to visit us at all. Your attitude makes it seem that you do not care about DH's health and don't really care about seeing DS or me either. That hurts a lot."

[Anonymous]

J would absolutely use this as a chance to change your policy permanently. Dogs are no longer welcome in your home. Your parents can visit without them or miss out on their grandson.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't allow an uncrated nipping dog near my child, either.

[Anonymous]

My parents got a dog when they thought they were not getting grandchildren. Now they bring the dog everywhere.(and: surprise! they got grandchildren. One of whom--mine, natch--is not too thrilled with the dog.)

No one's allergies are too awful and the dog is not a jerk, but the dog's antics and needs are a constant attention drain on my parents (especially my mom)--I think she kind of uses the dog as an excuse for being distracted and anxious a lot of the time. I wish she didn't.

We don't have pets so I have no idea how easy or difficult it would be to board them, and my sister is the same way about her dog, so they're getting reinforcement from the other side for the view that it would be outrageously expensive or even abusive to board the dog.

I'm just not a dog person and not going to be. I don't really want the dog in my house. Ugh.

Anyway, OP: you have a really good reason, not just for now but for keeps. Don't back down.

[Anonymous]

Wow. These dog people are flatout crazy.

We have a dog, and I grew up with dogs, but this behavior is insane. Unless your dog has significant behavioral or medical issues, boarding it is no problem. You can also easily find a pet sitter.

I like our dog (when he's not being crazy or peeing in the house) but not enough to take him everywhere with us.

[Anonymous]

People do not like the expense. It can be anywhere between $50-$100 a night, usually at least $70 a night in expensive areas. You often have to add a day because if unless your flight gets in early you can't get to the boarding place in time. If they are coming out for a 4 day stay and need to board for 5-6 days for 2 large dogs then it will cost them $700- $840 to board their dogs.

The majority of people throwing fits about bring their dogs are just trying to get out of covering the expense that comes with owning dogs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am one of those people who likes to bring my dog places - but I am horrified by these stories. I'm sorry the people you know are behaving so selfishly - not to mention making all dog owners look like crazy people.

OP: Do you know why your parents want to bring the dogs, even though they cause chaos - and health problems - in your home? If they just aren't sure where else to put them, can you help find a local doggie daycare where the dogs can play while your folks are at your house?

Because they're crazy selfish dog people. They won't board them, they won't use doggie day care, they're absolutely crazy when it comes to these dogs. My brother lives in Idaho. THEY DRIVE TO IDAHO with the dogs because they cannot bear the thought of doing anything without the dogs. Florida to Idaho and back again. This is not the behavior of rational people. Yet they think it is very normal.

The kicker is we didn't have dogs when I was growing up!

I guess they missed you so much after you left they replaced the hole in their hearts with beasts.

[Anonymous]

OP can you not build a ‘doggy suite’ addition ? What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG yes! I've posted before about my crazy aunt. She's the one who insists on bringing her teacup dog everywhere. For Thanksgiving, she wanted to not only bring the dog but bring along her dog gates and pee pads to build a play and pee area. She usually does this in the host's kitchen! I said no because its gross and I don't want her dog peeing, even on pee pads anywhere on my hardwood floors. She shows up with the dog and gates asking where to set them up. I said outside and she was horrified. DH and I stood firm and she had the balls to try to argue that it could go into one of the kids room. Yeah no. She only lives 10 minutes away. They took the dog home and came back when she finally realized we wouldn't budge and then made snitty comments about how other small dogs misbehaving ruin it for well behaved dogs like hers. Argh.

She came to dinner another time and asked if she could bring the dog but keep it in her carrier on her lap. We said fine and put our large dog into a separate room. (It never occurs to her that its an imposition for us to have to put our large dog away when she comes over because she insists on bringing he dog.) She waltzes in and I kid you not puts the dog in the dog carrier up on the counter in the kitchen where I am prepping food. Later in the evening when DH put out large dog on a leash to take him for a walk she blocked his exit and was taunting our big dog with her little dog by opening up the carrier window and putting it next to my dogs face. She kept doing this even though we told her to stop it. She said that she thought that our dog would be fine and was of course angling to find more ways to give her dog free access to our home in the future. She is a fool as our dog is high strung, energetic, dog reactive to small dogs and weighs 20 times more than her teacup dog the size of a baby bunny. DH and I both said no again an she just giggled saying "oooh I'm such a little instigator" in this baby voice. I should have just let my big dog eat her little dog but the kids would have been horrified.

She has a fake emotional support animal letter so she can take her dog on all trips without an extra charge. Yes, she is one of those selfish a-holes that will end up making it more difficult in the long run for people who legitimately are under the care of a mental health expert and have a legitimate ESA.

OP - stand firm and just say no. Some dog owners are the worst.

Where did the crazy gene come from?

[Anonymous]

Well either they board the dogs or they don"t get to see you.

[Anonymous]

Good God, OP, I hope your DS doesn't inherit your DH's dog allergy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So your parents are willing to risk your husband’s comfort and vision by bringing the dogs? Frankly, I’d have a hard time forgiving them for that selfishness, and I say this as someone who is hard to offend and forgives easily.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good God, OP, I hope your DS doesn't inherit your DH's dog allergy.

If he is exposed to dogs early on he most likely won’t be.
Ironically.