Are men turned off by women with very high powered careers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

+1. I'm a high earning female. If I were single, I wouldn't be interested in men who make less in most cases. I don't want to feel like I'm wearing the pants in the relationship. Men should have the means and inclination to take control- in all facets of life.

and I'm the opposite. I'm invested in my career, although it is not high powered in a financial sense. Its a job that comes with travel, status and some public eye stuff and I would love to have a wonderful, chill SAHD as my partner. If I made another 100k a year, then I think DH would do that, maybe do some consulting or writing in his down time. Its very hard to have 2 career driven types if you also want a family.. often joke that we need a sister wife...

So you say, but in reality you'd rapidly lose respect for him, regard him as a worthless parasite, and eventually cheat on him or divorce him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men- if you were single and over 40 and not interested in having kids (eithe rbecause you don’t want them or you already have them), would you find women with high powered careers appealing or off-putting? By high powered I mean: law firm partners, congresswoman, prominent journalist, hedge fund manager, that kind of thing: jobs that are demanding and in the public eye but not “feminine,” eg, not a successful model or interior decorator or event planner, but successful in male dominated fields.

I fear that men are intimidated by very successful women, or feel competitive, and often prefer women who are lower status than they are (independent of looks or age). Is this paranoid?

If Christine Lagarde is not too intimidating to find a man (and she did!), then neither are you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

+1. I'm a high earning female. If I were single, I wouldn't be interested in men who make less in most cases. I don't want to feel like I'm wearing the pants in the relationship. Men should have the means and inclination to take control- in all facets of life.

and I'm the opposite. I'm invested in my career, although it is not high powered in a financial sense. Its a job that comes with travel, status and some public eye stuff and I would love to have a wonderful, chill SAHD as my partner. If I made another 100k a year, then I think DH would do that, maybe do some consulting or writing in his down time. Its very hard to have 2 career driven types if you also want a family.. often joke that we need a sister wife...

So you say, but in reality you'd rapidly lose respect for him, regard him as a worthless parasite, and eventually cheat on him or divorce him.

I'm not that poster but our situations are similar. I make a healthy income and my job comes with travel and status. My DH has a flexible, low-paying job and he does the bulk of dropoff, pickup, chauffering and grocery shopping. Not only do I not lose respect for him, I cherish what he brings to the marriage and I am under no illusion as to whose efforts allow me to jet off to Jakarta for two weeks without much worry about the kids. And we have three.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that women don’t want to financially support men and they are known to “lose respect” for their husbands if they make more than them.

There just isn’t much to gain for a man by dating or marrying a high powered career woman. And women like this are invariable super picky because they feel entitled to a man who is at least a “successful” as she is.

+1. I'm a high earning female. If I were single, I wouldn't be interested in men who make less in most cases. I don't want to feel like I'm wearing the pants in the relationship. Men should have the means and inclination to take control- in all facets of life.

Lots of women are like this.

The funny thing is that they don’t see the connection between the expectation that the man should be the breadwinner and men making more money on average. Men make more because women require them to make more. Men don’t have this expectation of women, so women can take jobs that allow for flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

+1. I'm a high earning female. If I were single, I wouldn't be interested in men who make less in most cases. I don't want to feel like I'm wearing the pants in the relationship. Men should have the means and inclination to take control- in all facets of life.

and I'm the opposite. I'm invested in my career, although it is not high powered in a financial sense. Its a job that comes with travel, status and some public eye stuff and I would love to have a wonderful, chill SAHD as my partner. If I made another 100k a year, then I think DH would do that, maybe do some consulting or writing in his down time. Its very hard to have 2 career driven types if you also want a family.. often joke that we need a sister wife...

So you say, but in reality you'd rapidly lose respect for him, regard him as a worthless parasite, and eventually cheat on him or divorce him.

I'm not that poster but our situations are similar. I make a healthy income and my job comes with travel and status. My DH has a flexible, low-paying job and he does the bulk of dropoff, pickup, chauffering and grocery shopping. Not only do I not lose respect for him, I cherish what he brings to the marriage and I am under no illusion as to whose efforts allow me to jet off to Jakarta for two weeks without much worry about the kids. And we have three.

Uh huh. Well, report back when you're both 65 and you are still married to your kitchen and shopping bitch. Until then, the fact remains that when the woman makes more than the man, the odds of divorce significantly increase.

[Anonymous]

The issue is logistics. I am a successful scientist. That limits my earning potential to the low 200’s in today’s economy. Being with someone who has similar success and income would be awesome. I assume she would also be intelligent.

I have a fair bit of flexibility in my career/work like balance, but at times travel is required.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men are not intimidated by women. Period.

Two causes for concern:

Firstly, does she have time to pay attention to you, or is she too busy?

Secondly, it is very reasonable to assume that a high-powered woman won't be interested in a lower-status man, or at any rate, won't be satisfied with him for long and will dump him if she finds a higher-status man.

You don’t speak for all the men. Sorry, Bucky, but many men are intimidated by some women, and some men are intimidated by many women.

Women like you pretend men are intimidated by them because it is too painful to confront the reality that men are turned off by your shrill, aggressive, obnoxious personality. Try being pleasant and agreeable for a change.

Yeah, we don't give a shit about you women and your careers as long as you shut your trap and do what we say.......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

+1. I'm a high earning female. If I were single, I wouldn't be interested in men who make less in most cases. I don't want to feel like I'm wearing the pants in the relationship. Men should have the means and inclination to take control- in all facets of life.

and I'm the opposite. I'm invested in my career, although it is not high powered in a financial sense. Its a job that comes with travel, status and some public eye stuff and I would love to have a wonderful, chill SAHD as my partner. If I made another 100k a year, then I think DH would do that, maybe do some consulting or writing in his down time. Its very hard to have 2 career driven types if you also want a family.. often joke that we need a sister wife...

So you say, but in reality you'd rapidly lose respect for him, regard him as a worthless parasite, and eventually cheat on him or divorce him.

I'm not that poster but our situations are similar. I make a healthy income and my job comes with travel and status. My DH has a flexible, low-paying job and he does the bulk of dropoff, pickup, chauffering and grocery shopping. Not only do I not lose respect for him, I cherish what he brings to the marriage and I am under no illusion as to whose efforts allow me to jet off to Jakarta for two weeks without much worry about the kids. And we have three.

Uh huh. Well, report back when you're both 65 and you are still married to your kitchen and shopping bitch. Until then, the fact remains that when the woman makes more than the man, the odds of divorce significantly increase.

You can apply this pretty much to any marriage. Women haven't been making more than men long enough for meaningful statistics to exist, much less to definitively identify income differential as a single cause of divorce. Although if you know of any research worth sharing, I'm happy to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The issue is logistics. I am a successful scientist. That limits my earning potential to the low 200’s in today’s economy. Being with someone who has similar success and income would be awesome. I assume she would also be intelligent.

I have a fair bit of flexibility in my career/work like balance, but at times travel is required.

Yup. Men want a woman with $$$ when they don't have it. When they do have it, it's at best irrelevant at worst a negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

+1. I'm a high earning female. If I were single, I wouldn't be interested in men who make less in most cases. I don't want to feel like I'm wearing the pants in the relationship. Men should have the means and inclination to take control- in all facets of life.

and I'm the opposite. I'm invested in my career, although it is not high powered in a financial sense. Its a job that comes with travel, status and some public eye stuff and I would love to have a wonderful, chill SAHD as my partner. If I made another 100k a year, then I think DH would do that, maybe do some consulting or writing in his down time. Its very hard to have 2 career driven types if you also want a family.. often joke that we need a sister wife...

So you say, but in reality you'd rapidly lose respect for him, regard him as a worthless parasite, and eventually cheat on him or divorce him.

I'm not that poster but our situations are similar. I make a healthy income and my job comes with travel and status. My DH has a flexible, low-paying job and he does the bulk of dropoff, pickup, chauffering and grocery shopping. Not only do I not lose respect for him, I cherish what he brings to the marriage and I am under no illusion as to whose efforts allow me to jet off to Jakarta for two weeks without much worry about the kids. And we have three.

Uh huh. Well, report back when you're both 65 and you are still married to your kitchen and shopping bitch. Until then, the fact remains that when the woman makes more than the man, the odds of divorce significantly increase.

NP. It just comes down to respect. If the "kitchen and shopping bitch" is really competent at all of the things he does, and brings something else to the table (deep knowledge about something valuable to the wife, social competence/likability, intelligence, high fitness level, etc.) then the wife can definitely maintain respect and regard her DH as a safe space away from the stress of her demanding job. The cases where divorce occurs are when the wife discovers that her husband not only sucks in the work world but also sucks at everything else he does and is essentially another child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

+1. I'm a high earning female. If I were single, I wouldn't be interested in men who make less in most cases. I don't want to feel like I'm wearing the pants in the relationship. Men should have the means and inclination to take control- in all facets of life.

and I'm the opposite. I'm invested in my career, although it is not high powered in a financial sense. Its a job that comes with travel, status and some public eye stuff and I would love to have a wonderful, chill SAHD as my partner. If I made another 100k a year, then I think DH would do that, maybe do some consulting or writing in his down time. Its very hard to have 2 career driven types if you also want a family.. often joke that we need a sister wife...

So you say, but in reality you'd rapidly lose respect for him, regard him as a worthless parasite, and eventually cheat on him or divorce him.

I'm not that poster but our situations are similar. I make a healthy income and my job comes with travel and status. My DH has a flexible, low-paying job and he does the bulk of dropoff, pickup, chauffering and grocery shopping. Not only do I not lose respect for him, I cherish what he brings to the marriage and I am under no illusion as to whose efforts allow me to jet off to Jakarta for two weeks without much worry about the kids. And we have three.

Uh huh. Well, report back when you're both 65 and you are still married to your kitchen and shopping bitch. Until then, the fact remains that when the woman makes more than the man, the odds of divorce significantly increase.

My DH always laughs when he hears the question, would you be upset if your DW outearned you. He'd be jumping up and down if my salary doubled and suddenly we had all that extra money. As would I.

You people are strange.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is logistics. I am a successful scientist. That limits my earning potential to the low 200’s in today’s economy. Being with someone who has similar success and income would be awesome. I assume she would also be intelligent.

I have a fair bit of flexibility in my career/work like balance, but at times travel is required.

Yup. Men want a woman with $$$ when they don't have it. When they do have it, it's at best irrelevant at worst a negative.

Seems self-defeating. Why would anyone reject the idea of having more $$$ in the kitty? More security, more savings, more donations to charity. What's not love?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is logistics. I am a successful scientist. That limits my earning potential to the low 200’s in today’s economy. Being with someone who has similar success and income would be awesome. I assume she would also be intelligent.

I have a fair bit of flexibility in my career/work like balance, but at times travel is required.

Yup. Men want a woman with $$$ when they don't have it. When they do have it, it's at best irrelevant at worst a negative.

However much money the man makes, he won't say no to a woman making twice that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The issue is logistics. I am a successful scientist. That limits my earning potential to the low 200’s in today’s economy. Being with someone who has similar success and income would be awesome. I assume she would also be intelligent.

I have a fair bit of flexibility in my career/work like balance, but at times travel is required.

You're the sort of man a high earning woman is interested in.

- high earning woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is logistics. I am a successful scientist. That limits my earning potential to the low 200’s in today’s economy. Being with someone who has similar success and income would be awesome. I assume she would also be intelligent.

I have a fair bit of flexibility in my career/work like balance, but at times travel is required.

Yup. Men want a woman with $$$ when they don't have it. When they do have it, it's at best irrelevant at worst a negative.

Seems self-defeating. Why would anyone reject the idea of having more $$$ in the kitty? More security, more savings, more donations to charity. What's not love?

As discussed in the thread, it's women who have a problem with this situation more than men. Men are "intimidated" because they know that women get annoyed when if the man is not earning as much as she is.