Are men turned off by women with very high powered careers?

[Anonymous]

Are women intimidated by men who are more attractive than they are?

“Never date a man who is prettier than you” is an old saying. It’s basically the same logic with men and money.

[Anonymous]

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/17/upshot/when-wives-earn-more-than-husbands-neither-like-to-admit-it.html

“Yet 71 percent of people say that to be a good husband, men should be able to financially support a family, a Pew Research Center survey found last year. Only one-third said that about women.

Marriage therapists say marriages can become shakier when women earn more than men if men feel insecure or women lose respect for them.”

...

“A large study by economists at the University of Chicago, using census data from 1970 to 2000, found that marriages in which the woman earned more were less likely to form in the first place, and more likely to end in divorce.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is logistics. I am a successful scientist. That limits my earning potential to the low 200’s in today’s economy. Being with someone who has similar success and income would be awesome. I assume she would also be intelligent.

I have a fair bit of flexibility in my career/work like balance, but at times travel is required.

Yup. Men want a woman with $$$ when they don't have it. When they do have it, it's at best irrelevant at worst a negative.

Seems self-defeating. Why would anyone reject the idea of having more $$$ in the kitty? More security, more savings, more donations to charity. What's not love?

As discussed in the thread, it's women who have a problem with this situation more than men. Men are "intimidated" because they know that women get annoyed when if the man is not earning as much as she is.

I’m a woman who would rejoice if tomorrow my boss offered to triple my salary so that I was outearning my DH. He, by the way, would be popping open the champagne.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is logistics. I am a successful scientist. That limits my earning potential to the low 200’s in today’s economy. Being with someone who has similar success and income would be awesome. I assume she would also be intelligent.

I have a fair bit of flexibility in my career/work like balance, but at times travel is required.

Yup. Men want a woman with $$$ when they don't have it. When they do have it, it's at best irrelevant at worst a negative.

Seems self-defeating. Why would anyone reject the idea of having more $$$ in the kitty? More security, more savings, more donations to charity. What's not love?

As discussed in the thread, it's women who have a problem with this situation more than men. Men are "intimidated" because they know that women get annoyed when if the man is not earning as much as she is.

I’m a woman who would rejoice if tomorrow my boss offered to triple my salary so that I was outearning my DH. He, by the way, would be popping open the champagne.

Sure. But what if your husband was laid off and could only find a job that paid half of what he is making now?

[Anonymous]

No, my ex-wife had a high power career and that didn’t turn me off. What turned me off was she was a cheating whore. I have a good job and I’m well off. So it’s not like I need her. But her career means nothing and meant nothing. The woman I date now is a CrossFit instructor and nutritionist. Nit high-powered but she’s amazing in many other ways.

Does it turn me off? No. What matters is if they’re sexy and a nice person

[Anonymous]

No, wouldn’t turn me off. DW has a senior level and high profile position at a govt agency and used to work in banking. I work in the private sector and make more money than she does. When we were dating the dynamics were the same. It’s more about how she treats me (spending time, emotionally available) it would be a turn off if her career were more important than our relationship.

[Anonymous]

Sure, if they’re insecure.

[Anonymous]

No. We are turned off by women who think their success intimidates us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, wouldn’t turn me off. DW has a senior level and high profile position at a govt agency and used to work in banking. I work in the private sector and make more money than she does. When we were dating the dynamics were the same. It’s more about how she treats me (spending time, emotionally available) it would be a turn off if her career were more important than our relationship.

Not saying you'd think like this, but is the sentiment the same if the genders were flipped? I think less women than men would say, "It’s more about how he treats me (spending time, emotionally available) it would be a turn off if his career were more important than our relationship."

[Anonymous]

"prominent journalist"... sorry, as an exec in media it took me a few minutes to stop laughing.

[Anonymous]

only if they are fat. there I said it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, wouldn’t turn me off. DW has a senior level and high profile position at a govt agency and used to work in banking. I work in the private sector and make more money than she does. When we were dating the dynamics were the same. It’s more about how she treats me (spending time, emotionally available) it would be a turn off if her career were more important than our relationship.

Not saying you'd think like this, but is the sentiment the same if the genders were flipped? I think less women than men would say, "It’s more about how he treats me (spending time, emotionally available) it would be a turn off if his career were more important than our relationship."

Of course this is different if genders are flipped.

[Rockjaw]

FWIW: My DW of 25yrs is an EVP of a large publicly listed firm and runs a business of about $2B in annual revenue. We married after she and I finished grad school and waited 10 yrs before doing the family thing. I recently retired after 30 yrs in technology Prof Svcs and we have two precollege teens... I was a CPA before grad school and played Div1 FB for a well known university in the NE. Although I dated all sorts of women before marriage, I was very specific that I wanted/needed a partner that was not only my equal intellectually and career-wise, but was also socially, politically, athletically, sexually.... you name it, along with, of course, the necessary physical and psychological attributes...
I discovered this perfect mate whilst interviewing candidates for a role in a firm that my then employer had just recently acquired - suffice it to say that I decided that I did not want to hire this person, but rather, I wanted to date her. I subsequently gave her CV, along with an emphatically positive recommendation, to a senior executive that I worked with. 3 months later I saw her in this local airport, struck up a conversation only to find out that she was now one of my colleagues. 6 months later we were engaged, married 6 months thereafter.

I urge you - Do Not fall for the BS that most men are intimidated by successful, powerful females.

That said, I do know highly successful men, CEOs of well known firms, that are very accomplished (CPA/MBA/JD, etc), that have had 3 or 4 failed marriages (the ex’s are still our friends)... in one example, the marriages failed b/c my “boyhood/HS/College/Fratbro/best man in my wedding”, is just a complete and total azz - arrogant, narsistic, self-absorbed, vain, etc.... Always-Was, Always-Will-Be...the key is to understand that people do not change, so choose wisely. Good luck