When you play the "did I cause it?" game--does it ever stop

[Anonymous]

Well I took antidepressants during my pregnancy and my DS has autism and some other stuff, so...yup I play this game every single day. And I did IVF with my next pregnancy and both of my twins had congenital abnormalities (different ones though), one of which a doctor recently told me - without me even asking - that he is "sure" the progesterone I took during that pregnancy caused the abnormality he now needs surgery for. It wasn't hard enough going through infertility and pregnancy loss, but now that process also caused a birth defect. Yay.

Plus I have loads of anxiety/depression in my family tree going waaaaay back, so their genetic foundation isn't stellar to begin with. There are many days I feel like a horrible person for everything i "did" to my kids before they were even born. Pretty sure I will always feel this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I took antidepressants during my pregnancy and my DS has autism and some other stuff, so...yup I play this game every single day. And I did IVF with my next pregnancy and both of my twins had congenital abnormalities (different ones though), one of which a doctor recently told me - without me even asking - that he is "sure" the progesterone I took during that pregnancy caused the abnormality he now needs surgery for. It wasn't hard enough going through infertility and pregnancy loss, but now that process also caused a birth defect. Yay.

Plus I have loads of anxiety/depression in my family tree going waaaaay back, so their genetic foundation isn't stellar to begin with. There are many days I feel like a horrible person for everything i "did" to my kids before they were even born. Pretty sure I will always feel this way.

Oh, God, I’m sorry. That doctor is an ass. I know it doesn’t mean much from an internet stranger, but it’s not your fault. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

I also play this game. I took Unisom/B6 and Zofran while pregnant with both kids. I also drank until I found out with each (5 weeks and 6 weeks). Both kids also took Prilosec and Zantac as infants due to reflux. Both of my kids have neurological issues, and one also has autoimmune issues. I sure do wonder and wish I could go back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I took antidepressants during my pregnancy and my DS has autism and some other stuff, so...yup I play this game every single day. And I did IVF with my next pregnancy and both of my twins had congenital abnormalities (different ones though), one of which a doctor recently told me - without me even asking - that he is "sure" the progesterone I took during that pregnancy caused the abnormality he now needs surgery for. It wasn't hard enough going through infertility and pregnancy loss, but now that process also caused a birth defect. Yay.

Plus I have loads of anxiety/depression in my family tree going waaaaay back, so their genetic foundation isn't stellar to begin with. There are many days I feel like a horrible person for everything i "did" to my kids before they were even born. Pretty sure I will always feel this way.

Oh, God, I’m sorry. That doctor is an ass. I know it doesn’t mean much from an internet stranger, but it’s not your fault. Hugs.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys, I understand having these feelings of guilt, I have them too sometimes. But I KNOW THEY ARE IRRATIONAL.

I am pretty horrified that so many posters here seem to actually believe that their failure to eat 100% organic food while pregnant or stop drinking years before they conceived actually caused their children’s special needs.

This is sexist magical thinking which blames women for basically everything in society. It’s basically the same as when people used to burn witches when there was a poor harvest.

We all hate the PP’s MIL who blamed the PP’s single sip of wine for her child’s autism. But you are basically doing that same thing to yourselves, and by extension every other woman who has a child with special needs.

Yes yes yes!