Do you tell your kids exactly how much you make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They'll see it on your FAFSA anyways.

Not if you don’t fill one out.

[Anonymous]

We didn't tell them exact numbers of how much the house we just bought cost or HHI, but then I was applying for an store branded Visa in order to get a $50 off purchase coupon and they heard the HHI. I could have kicked myself. UGH. The cat's out of the bag now. The lovely older lady doing the cc apps told them, oh but kids SO MUCH comes out for taxes and retirement, we don't get to actually see the whole amount. HA HA. Love that lady!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We discussed how much things cost and how much we save and how we borrow for this and that (house - yes, cars - maybe, stuff - never) a lot as the kids were growing up, but we didn't discuss salaries or income much until they were at the age where they were preparing for college. It just seemed unnecessary given our greater emphasis on how we spent our money over how much we made.

This will be our approach too. They are young now, but I fully intend to open the expense side of my budget to them in high school. They need to have an understanding of how much life costs and the importance of a career, regardless of whether they go to college or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As PPs noted, explaining expenses is more useful. I've told my elementary school kids that the mortgage is $4000/month. The car cost $30,000. We're saving for a trip to Disneyworld that will cost $10,000. and that without a college degree, they may end up working at McDonalds or retail for $15/hour, or $2400/month which isn't even enough for a cheap apartment, food, clothes and bus fare. so I tell them, their job is to do well in school.

Without a USEFUL degree from select fields.

I've seen plenty of kids from UMC families who went for their "passion" in things like Arts History or African Studies, and are shocked that they can't find a job after graduation.

"But my parents told me that I just needed to do well in school, and that happiness mattered more than money!!!"

Yeah... well, your middle aged UMC parents forgot what it takes for a young adult to jump start their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. We taught them about finances, how to budget, the importance of savings, ...But they don't need specific salary information. They were taught that it's super rude to ask about salary.

But, once on the job market, it's really important for women to find out how much people in their field at their level in their company makes. Salary information suppression keeps women's wages artificially low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Our 12yr old is involved in all financial planning, and is part of our monthly "state of the union" he knows how much we make, our debts, our investments, and our expenses that we track at the most tedious granular level.

I will tell you, we make just over 500k. He has been going over his Christmas list and was cringing when he told me he really wanted a laptop, but knew it was way too expensive a gift. His main list of things he wants totals about $350. He is very well grounded in what is appropriate spending and absolutely loves tracking our investments. He has been worried about our 401k performance as of late and that has caused him unnecessary worry. We do try to explain the cycles to ease his fears, but he will eventually see the cycle himself.

They had a personal finance unit at school and it was basically so far below his literacy level even he was laughing about it. I'm very confident our approach is right for our kids.

Our 9yr old is not involved, though, he will be once he turns 12.

As a child:



As an anxious adult:

[Anonymous]

Our kids know what we make and how much things cost. They have a cushy life and need to know what it takes to live it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Our 12yr old is involved in all financial planning, and is part of our monthly "state of the union" he knows how much we make, our debts, our investments, and our expenses that we track at the most tedious granular level.

I will tell you, we make just over 500k. He has been going over his Christmas list and was cringing when he told me he really wanted a laptop, but knew it was way too expensive a gift. His main list of things he wants totals about $350. He is very well grounded in what is appropriate spending and absolutely loves tracking our investments. He has been worried about our 401k performance as of late and that has caused him unnecessary worry. We do try to explain the cycles to ease his fears, but he will eventually see the cycle himself.

They had a personal finance unit at school and it was basically so far below his literacy level even he was laughing about it. I'm very confident our approach is right for our kids.

Our 9yr old is not involved, though, he will be once he turns 12.

As a child:



As an anxious adult:

If the poster is making over 500k as stated there is nothing to be anxious over. At that point they are managing where do dump the hoard of money coming in. If anything 5henkid is going to grow up and be like, shit, how the hell can I make the same to support that life I grew up with that will be their norm.

[Anonymous]

Heck, no, our kids don't know how much we make. We want to teach them the value of a dollar, without knowing exactly how many dollars we have. It's a high HHI and they don't need that specific info. Plus, I don't want them to tell their friends.

[Anonymous]

Not exactly- but we talk about budgeting and that it's important to be careful with money. We discuss investments, retirement, college savings, and the importance of starting very early.
I told DS when he gets that first job out of college, he needs to immediately start putting maxing his money into a retirement plan. He should build his savings and investment model around that contribution, then, as he makes more money order it in priority. Emergency fund, savings for home ownership, other tax advantaged accounts like an HSA, 529 for his kids, then brokerage/investments if he's fortunate to have anything remaining after all of the contributions. We also talked about the importance of taking out life insurance for him and his spouse when he young and healthy.
I think kids need to understand how to set financial priorities- they see us adults going to Starbucks, taking vacations. or buying a nice car and imagine that those things are easy to achieve and something that they are entitled to. They didn't see the crappy one bedroom apartment in the sketchy neighborhood that DS and I rented in our twenties, the careful meal planning, the week long anticipation for a "nice" dinner out, excitement over a pair of nice work shoes, and the drive/not fly getaways and cheaper hotels, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not exactly- but we talk about budgeting and that it's important to be careful with money. We discuss investments, retirement, college savings, and the importance of starting very early.
I told DS when he gets that first job out of college, he needs to immediately start putting maxing his money into a retirement plan. He should build his savings and investment model around that contribution, then, as he makes more money order it in priority. Emergency fund, savings for home ownership, other tax advantaged accounts like an HSA, 529 for his kids, then brokerage/investments if he's fortunate to have anything remaining after all of the contributions. We also talked about the importance of taking out life insurance for him and his spouse when he young and healthy.
I think kids need to understand how to set financial priorities- they see us adults going to Starbucks, taking vacations. or buying a nice car and imagine that those things are easy to achieve and something that they are entitled to. They didn't see the crappy one bedroom apartment in the sketchy neighborhood that DS and I rented in our twenties, the careful meal planning, the week long anticipation for a "nice" dinner out, excitement over a pair of nice work shoes, and the drive/not fly getaways and cheaper hotels, etc.

Should say DH, not DS.

[Anonymous]

not unless you want all your kids friends parents to also know your income. Our kids are in middle school and I’m shocked at what comes out of their mouths during carpools. I can’t imagine the lunch table. They still have no filter - sometimes showing off or one-upping but sometimes...just sharing with closer friends they think they can trust but that kid can’t remember to keep a secret. That said, half the information sounds incorrect but still...

Like 10:28 and others, we have always made it a point to talk about money at age appropriate levels - what things cost, saving, budgeting, concepts of compound interest and retirement planning. Agree that it is important to prepare kids and not just provide them with lavish lifestyles just to chuck them off the boat upon graduation with no concept of what it means to support one’s self.

I imagine sometime in HS sharing hhi.

[Anonymous]

Come to think of it, even in HS kids may blab. I remember working a summer job as a junior with a kid who lived in an affluent area and one day he rattled off a list of his neighbors and how many millions each were worth. We never discussed this in my home so it made an impression on me. I’m guessing now that this was discussed at his home either directly or overheard. Maybe he was shocked, too. He was otherwise a decent normal person. Be careful what you share, when.

[Anonymous]

We talk about money in general, but not specifics. The oldest is 18 and still has no idea of the exact numbers, but understands we're more than comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Come to think of it, even in HS kids may blab. I remember working a summer job as a junior with a kid who lived in an affluent area and one day he rattled off a list of his neighbors and how many millions each were worth. We never discussed this in my home so it made an impression on me. I’m guessing now that this was discussed at his home either directly or overheard. Maybe he was shocked, too. He was otherwise a decent normal person. Be careful what you share, when.

yeah, you have to know your kid. I would be shocked if mine talked about how much money we have--of course, never say never. I've emphasized that talking about family money is quick way to look like a douche because other kids will have more/or less--and both scenarios just make you look bad. Also, we had a job issue some time back- it was a fully grounding experience for our entire family. We don't take things for granted the way we used to and my DS has been keen to learn more about investments and financial planning/security since that terrible experience.