Do you tell your kids exactly how much you make?

[Anonymous]

I still have a knee jerk reaction to discussing finances with other people. For example, I fully realize that sharing salaries with your coworkers benefits everyone and takes the power away from companies to screw people over. Yet I still feel uneasy flat out telling my coworkers how much I make. It was instilled in me as a child.

DH and I make a comfortable living, but we are on the lower side of the curve for our area. On one hand, I want to be frank with the kids about how much we make, how much we save, how much we spend, etc. But on the other, I don't want them blurting our salaries out to their friends (is it inappropriate, or is it a throwback to old customs?) and I don't want them getting hung up about how much money everyone has. Also, there are still families who make less than us, so I don't want it to be seen as bragging either.

Right now, finance and salaries are like the man behind the curtain. They are aware of differences (Larlo has a huge house, and Larla's dad has three cars, but Larlette lives in a small apartment), but it hasn't been spelled out to them. So I'm curious how other families are handling this and how it's going for you.

[Anonymous]

We discussed how much things cost and how much we save and how we borrow for this and that (house - yes, cars - maybe, stuff - never) a lot as the kids were growing up, but we didn't discuss salaries or income much until they were at the age where they were preparing for college. It just seemed unnecessary given our greater emphasis on how we spent our money over how much we made.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I discuss our salaries, our decision about making less vs not seeing the kids (mommy and daddy track), budget, cost of college, savings, how credit cards work, health care cost, taxes, retirement planning.

They are late teens.

I tell them they will always know people that make more and friends/family/community create happiness not money.

[Anonymous]

No. But I do emphasize the importance of investing for passive income.

[Anonymous]

When your kids are young you can talk about percentages.
We spend this much, save this much, etc.

When they're older and more mature you can start talking about real numbers. Start with something that affects them directly like how much money is in their 529 and how you're thinking about funding college. Next you can talk about retirement and how you saved and what you're planning, etc.

Last, when they're older (high school) is how much you make. They're going to find out anyways when they fill out a FAFSA. Financial literacy is important but you don't have to tell your 5 year old your salary to start instilling good values.

[Anonymous]

My parents hid these things from me and never discussed practical life skills, which made my early adult life more difficult than it should have been, so I have made a point to talk to my children about our income, our budget and what we can afford, since they were in elementary school.

It came in handy when my husband was out of work for 18 months and we had to MOVE before being able to get back on our feet. Our oldest was 7 at the time and he was kept in the loop and felt part of the team.

[Anonymous]

I don't think they need to know totals. They need to know about saving and investing. They need to know about how much things cost. They need to know that we have enough money to do x & y, but maybe not luxurious z.

My blue collar parents never shared any income or wealth totals...even now they don't share. They've alluded that they can cover their long-term healthcare costs, and they opened 529s for our kids, which they contribute about $5k / year each.

[Anonymous]

Yes but he is HS senior.

[Anonymous]

When kids were younger, we would go through the expenses and taxes for a single person so they would understand how much it takes to live - they were surprised about taxes, rent, cost of owning a car (one said he would take the train instead), health insurance premium, utilities, and when what was left over for food and entertainment - the other son said, I guess I will be eating ramen noodles!!

When they started looking at colleges - we shared how much was in their 529 accounts. And told them whatever was left in the accounts was theirs - so if they chose an inexpensive college, got merit aid, etc, they will benefit.

Now that they are going to be graduating, we have shared more information about HHI but not NW yet. I don’t want them to be anticipating an inheritance.

[Anonymous]

I don't think income matters nearly as much as teaching them about managing expenses. At any rate, your income/expenses at this stage of your life will be different than what it should be at their stage in life when they are just graduating college.

[Anonymous]

They'll see it on your FAFSA anyways.

[Anonymous]

Please teach your kids about finances. You can't do that without disclosing the details of your income. My parents did and I was able to put into perspective what it cost to have the type of lifestyle I wanted (we were upper middle class). So many people I grew up with had no concept of how expensive it is to simply live, let buy a home, travel, have kids etc. Without an understanding of what income it took, good or bad, to give them the lifestyle they grew up with, you're setting them up for failure.

[Anonymous]

No. Kids can't handle it. They will disclose.

We give our kids a general idea that we do well enough to afford a nice house, but we have to save for college and vacations, etc. I actually have a lot in savings, but don't want them to know we are well off.

I plan on disclosing financial info to them after they are in their own career in their 20's. That's when my single mom went over her finances with me- for will and estate purposes. That was the right time I think

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Kids can't handle it. They will disclose.

We give our kids a general idea that we do well enough to afford a nice house, but we have to save for college and vacations, etc. I actually have a lot in savings, but don't want them to know we are well off.

I plan on disclosing financial info to them after they are in their own career in their 20's. That's when my single mom went over her finances with me- for will and estate purposes. That was the right time I think

As PPs noted, explaining expenses is more useful. I've told my elementary school kids that the mortgage is $4000/month. The car cost $30,000. We're saving for a trip to Disneyworld that will cost $10,000. and that without a college degree, they may end up working at McDonalds or retail for $15/hour, or $2400/month which isn't even enough for a cheap apartment, food, clothes and bus fare. so I tell them, their job is to do well in school.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I am a fed, so my salary is publicly disclosed anyway.