How to convince husband I am serious about divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What has happened in the last six months that made your decision?

Way too much around owning this home (which he wanted to buy and showed no hesitation in buying) has been on my back. He doesn't want to do his fair share, in my opinion. This terrifies me and makes me not want to have kids or be married to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want a divorce. I am exhausted from a really disappointing 5 year marriage with no kids, and I want things to unwind as simply as possible. We just bought a house in July using my pre-marital money as a down payment. DH does not contest this and agrees that since we have paid only a few mortgage payments as a couple that he has no problem walking away from the house. I want him to leave the house, but he won't leave. Currently he is sleeping in the guest room. He does not believe I am serious about wanting a divorce.

Neither one of us wants to spend money on attorneys fees and we more or less agree to how we will divide assets. It's not very complicated without kids and separate retirement accounts.

What do I do next?

The nunchaku (aka "nunchucks") is a traditional Okinawan martial arts weapon consisting of two sticks connected at one end by a short chain or rope. The two sections of the weapon are commonly made out of wood, while the link is a cord or a metal chain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is smarter than you. No way he should move out without a signed separation agreement addressing all financial issues. If he just moves out, it opens him up to being sued for at-fault divorce and getting stuck paying you lifetime alimony.

+1. Plus, I assume that he and you qualified together for the mortgage, which means that his credit is at risk if you don’t pay the mortgage. If I were him, I wouldn’t move out until divorce is signed or there was a written separation agreement. I can understand why he won’t move out. If you can afford to refinance on your own, get a real estate attorney and mortgage broker who can help you do it. Approach STBX and explain what you need from him to refinance - he will have to appear at the settlement on the new mortgage to sign papers closing out old mortgage and transferring title to you. Offer to pay out his share of any equity you two have accumulated by paying down the mortgage or increase in home value. You may have to sweeten the pot by offering him some cash in addition - money to cover moving and deposit in a new apartment

The alternative is a divorce which involves forced sale of the house at whatever loss that represents.

Yes, I will have to refinance. I can do it, it just sucks to have to take the rate increase. Oh well.

So basically despite wanting the divorce, you want him to disappear from your life with no repercussions to you financially or otherwise. I wouldn’t go for it either. You’re living in a fantasy world.

[Anonymous]

how do you go from being willing to spend premarital assets on a house in july....to being adamant you want to divorce in November? That was really dumb.

[Anonymous]

You go to a lawyer ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want a divorce. I am exhausted from a really disappointing 5 year marriage with no kids, and I want things to unwind as simply as possible. We just bought a house in July using my pre-marital money as a down payment. DH does not contest this and agrees that since we have paid only a few mortgage payments as a couple that he has no problem walking away from the house. I want him to leave the house, but he won't leave. Currently he is sleeping in the guest room. He does not believe I am serious about wanting a divorce.

Neither one of us wants to spend money on attorneys fees and we more or less agree to how we will divide assets. It's not very complicated without kids and separate retirement accounts.

What do I do next?

The nunchaku (aka "nunchucks") is a traditional Okinawan martial arts weapon consisting of two sticks connected at one end by a short chain or rope. The two sections of the weapon are commonly made out of wood, while the link is a cord or a metal chain.

Lol!! Wtf?

[Anonymous]

There are lawyer sites on the internet now. Download an agreement fill it out (including a date for his move out). Give it to your STBX, have him make his changes. Then figure out how to file it with your local jurisdiction. It shouldn't be that hard if both of you are agreeing to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What has happened in the last six months that made your decision?

Way too much around owning this home (which he wanted to buy and showed no hesitation in buying) has been on my back. He doesn't want to do his fair share, in my opinion. This terrifies me and makes me not want to have kids or be married to him.

I had a wife (now ex-wife) like that. Demanded a house. Promised to pay half, but once we were living in the house it was entirely my responsibility to pay for it and maintain it. One of the issues that led to divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What has happened in the last six months that made your decision?

Way too much around owning this home (which he wanted to buy and showed no hesitation in buying) has been on my back. He doesn't want to do his fair share, in my opinion. This terrifies me and makes me not want to have kids or be married to him.

Genuinely curious as to what this means? He won’t mow the lawn? What fair share is he not doing, that wasn’t present when you lived together previously?

[Anonymous]

File for divorce.