should i be offended DH has not added me as a beneficiary to his bank accounts? (married w/ kid)

[Anonymous]

OP here -thanks all - I agree that it is best for me to set up estate appointment - maybe he just needs to hear it from a lawyer... and I need to draft a will with a guardian if anything should happen.

I know death is not a sexy topic, but I feel like we have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst...

The consequence if he were to pass away as is, is that his parent would inherit the money, and his parent -- even IF they wanted to give it to me/the baby -- would face a tax on trying to give us over the $14k/year limit -- I would be in a hot mess of a financial situation trying to pay for our house/everything solo on my salary alone, would have to sell our house and etc if it were on my salary alone --

And I've done some google research and there was a Supreme Court case where a plaintiff was not included int he POD accounts as a beneficiary but was in a will, and the spouse was entitled to NOTHING because the POD account beneficiary status hadn't been updated....

So I feel like this is a wake up call for me to get things updated ...
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[Anonymous]

Financial issues often cause rifts in marriages. It does sound like you both have income/assets that have reached a level where professional advice (legal and financial) should be sought. Have you offered or asked him to meet with a financial planner with you? I have seen this personally bring couples to a better understanding as both parties are able to discuss their goals in an open setting with a mediator. I hope this works for you as well!

[Anonymous]

Are the kids listed as anything?

I am crazy paranoid and DH says he has a policy but I haven’t physically looked it over... but I know he will take care of the kids, which gives me peace of mind.


It’d Be crappy to be left with nothing, but the real issue is if the kids will be taken care of. If they aren’t, the. You definitely need to figure out how to get him to set up a policy.

[Anonymous]

And in response to your title question... yes you should be offended

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -thanks all - I agree that it is best for me to set up estate appointment - maybe he just needs to hear it from a lawyer... and I need to draft a will with a guardian if anything should happen.

I know death is not a sexy topic, but I feel like we have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst...

The consequence if he were to pass away as is, is that his parent would inherit the money, and his parent -- even IF they wanted to give it to me/the baby -- would face a tax on trying to give us over the $14k/year limit -- I would be in a hot mess of a financial situation trying to pay for our house/everything solo on my salary alone, would have to sell our house and etc if it were on my salary alone --

And I've done some google research and there was a Supreme Court case where a plaintiff was not included int he POD accounts as a beneficiary but was in a will, and the spouse was entitled to NOTHING because the POD account beneficiary status hadn't been updated....

So I feel like this is a wake up call for me to get things updated ...
-

This part is 100% wrong.