Husband sleeps in too much

[Anonymous]

Lol, I haven't slept until 2 since I was in college. Even before kids as an adult, couldn't make it past 10-11am. My guess is that he's either staying up SUPER late doing other stuff (watching movies, etc.) or he's a very low energy/lethargic dude, which brings into question if there's any medical issues going on/.

[Anonymous]

My husband is a late sleeper, and I'm an early bird. It's annoying, but I actually love getting up and out of the house without waiting for him to lazily wake up, use the bathroom, shower, dress, insist on a big breakfast (so much time, so many dishes.)

So I get up at 6, wake our 2 year old at 7 and get her dressed. We get out of the house and are among the first people at the Old Town farmers market or Whole Foods, we walk down to the waterfront with coffee/pastries, etc. It's a very special time to spend with my DD before the rest of the world is out and about.

Then we come home around 10 or so, and DH is up and happy and appreciative of the chance to sleep in.

[Anonymous]

He works 12 hour days and you find him lazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:60-70 hour work weeks. Up between 7 and 7:30 99% of the time, including weekends.

My husband is the same. OP is your husband depressed?

[Anonymous]

Is he a night owl? My husband is a late sleeper but he goes to bed at 3 am. He’s been that way his whole life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have kids and my husband does this. I spent years trying to get him to take his turns on getting up with the kids. He would do it for a while, then stop. The problem is that when he did get up, he was inevitably so cranky and awful that it pretty much ruined the day for everyone else.

I finally resigned myself (bitterly, I won't lie) that I have to get up with the kids but when he gets up he's on total kid duty and often takes them out somewhere for a few hours so I can do what I want, including napping. It's not fair, but it's the best I could do. Now the kids are older - 7 & 10 - that they don't need someone to actually get up right when they do. I sleep in for a while (still not as late as he does) so it's better but not through any help from my husband. He's still takes them out in the early afternoon for a while though because I need time to myself.

I actually think that’s fair since he takes them out so you get alone time.

You are responding to me and no, it's not fair. Fair would be if I got to sleep in too sometimes (I could then take them out in the afternoon so he could get along time to be fair). I do not always want to wake up in the mornings. The hour between 8-9 on a saturday am is more precious than the hour of noon -1. But, it's better than fighting with him when he wakes up cranky as hell so it's the best I could do after years of trying for fairness.

I feel ya sister. The last time my DH said he would get up with DS on a saturday, DS was in my room about 10 times between 6:30-8, at which point I finally gave up. I was PISSED. Now I just hand DS his tablet on Saturday and Sunday mornings and sleep until 8 or 9. DH hides in bed (sleeping or I don't know what) until I finally get fed up and go yell at him (between 11-1pm). Oh, and then DH has the gall to complain that DS gets too much screen time. Every so often DH falls asleep inexplicably at random times. Like the other day he picked up DS from school and brought him home and just went upstairs at fell asleep at 6pm. That left me trying to make dinner, while DS was bugging the sh*t out of me. Of course DH woke up and tried to eat some of the dinner, but I literally told him he could not, that I was going to eat it all. I felt very evil, but justified.

[Anonymous]

My DH works 55-60 hours. He is up M-F at 5:30 and simply can't sleep in past 6:30 on weekends because he is so programmed even if he up until 1am.

[Anonymous]

My husband is also in consulting and also used to sleep that way on weekend. My perspective was that a ~60 work week still leaves plenty of time to sleep especially when you're in hotels with nothing better to do so it wasn't like he was an ER doctor that had overnight shifts wrecking his schedule and exhausting him. Turns out he had uncontrolled depression / anxiety and was sleeping as a way to avoid the world.

He got that largely addressed, we now have 2 kids, he still defaults to trying to be the one to sleep in every morning (kids are up by 630) which is super annoying but I do get him up by 8am.

To people asking why do you care, when you see your spouse little / not at all during the week and you're excited to see them on the weekend and they would prefer to spend the day sleeping and not doing anything with you it is EXTREMELY lonely.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what "productive" thing Op wants done. My guess is she should hire it out, whatever it is. Encourage him to start the day hours earlier for his own fun, not chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel ya sister. The last time my DH said he would get up with DS on a saturday, DS was in my room about 10 times between 6:30-8, at which point I finally gave up. I was PISSED. Now I just hand DS his tablet on Saturday and Sunday mornings and sleep until 8 or 9. DH hides in bed (sleeping or I don't know what) until I finally get fed up and go yell at him (between 11-1pm). Oh, and then DH has the gall to complain that DS gets too much screen time. Every so often DH falls asleep inexplicably at random times. Like the other day he picked up DS from school and brought him home and just went upstairs at fell asleep at 6pm. That left me trying to make dinner, while DS was bugging the sh*t out of me. Of course DH woke up and tried to eat some of the dinner, but I literally told him he could not, that I was going to eat it all. I felt very evil, but justified.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say he stays in bed avoiding you. How you talk about your husband suggests you'll be divorced very soon. Sometimes people get tired for whatever reason at inconvenient times

[Anonymous]

That is crazy ... I thought you were going to say like 10am (which I consider sleeping in)

My DH is in big law and works probably 60-80 hours a week depending on the week. We have two young kids and are always up by 7 on the weekend even if the kids are still sleeping. When we go away without the kids we are still up at 7! I can’t sleep in anymore!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have kids and my husband does this. I spent years trying to get him to take his turns on getting up with the kids. He would do it for a while, then stop. The problem is that when he did get up, he was inevitably so cranky and awful that it pretty much ruined the day for everyone else.

I finally resigned myself (bitterly, I won't lie) that I have to get up with the kids but when he gets up he's on total kid duty and often takes them out somewhere for a few hours so I can do what I want, including napping. It's not fair, but it's the best I could do. Now the kids are older - 7 & 10 - that they don't need someone to actually get up right when they do. I sleep in for a while (still not as late as he does) so it's better but not through any help from my husband. He's still takes them out in the early afternoon for a while though because I need time to myself.

I actually think that’s fair since he takes them out so you get alone time.

You are responding to me and no, it's not fair. Fair would be if I got to sleep in too sometimes (I could then take them out in the afternoon so he could get along time to be fair). I do not always want to wake up in the mornings. The hour between 8-9 on a saturday am is more precious than the hour of noon -1. But, it's better than fighting with him when he wakes up cranky as hell so it's the best I could do after years of trying for fairness.

Yeah, I would take his side of the arrangement in a second. Hers? It so much. Never getting to sleep in sucks.

If I got to sleep late, I would happily take the kids out in the afternoon. Getting an afternoon break is a distant second to getting to sleep late every weekend!

[Anonymous]

I work 45 hrs a week and dh does 55 and he gets up at 5:30 every day. Sometimes earlier. And I get up at 6-6:30 depending on when dd gets up. He also goes to bed earlier and I still finish up some chores. Thank goodness we are on the same page and neither of us slacks off. When someone is sick yes the other takes over but that’s fair and is returned and appreciated. I couldn’t imagine either one sleeping past 9 am unless there is a serious health issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have kids and alternate who sleeps in. It annoys me on week days. Currently I nurse the infant at 7am, dress him, then leave for work and dump him on DH. DH has to take the infant and toddler to daycare. I enjoy that part because it means he has to get up. No one can ignore a crying infant in their room!

No one can ignore a mother "dumping" their child.

omfg

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you miss him. Try framing it that way? Ask him to get up a little earlier so you can have a day together each week.