Husband sleeps in too much

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's tired from his work week. Consulting can be grueling depending on his practice area and client. Do you work?

[Anonymous]

Man I wish I didn't have kids and this was my only complaint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have kids and alternate who sleeps in. It annoys me on week days. Currently I nurse the infant at 7am, dress him, then leave for work and dump him on DH. DH has to take the infant and toddler to daycare. I enjoy that part because it means he has to get up. No one can ignore a crying infant in their room!

No one can ignore a mother "dumping" their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids?

This is critical in answering the question.

No.

I understand he is exhausted by sleeping in until noon or 1 or 2 is just lazy. Why can't he just sleep in till 10 am?

What time does he go to bed?

My husband works long hours and is up by 8 on weekends. He does like an afternoon nap on weekends, and that’s all he needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have kids and my husband does this. I spent years trying to get him to take his turns on getting up with the kids. He would do it for a while, then stop. The problem is that when he did get up, he was inevitably so cranky and awful that it pretty much ruined the day for everyone else.

I finally resigned myself (bitterly, I won't lie) that I have to get up with the kids but when he gets up he's on total kid duty and often takes them out somewhere for a few hours so I can do what I want, including napping. It's not fair, but it's the best I could do. Now the kids are older - 7 & 10 - that they don't need someone to actually get up right when they do. I sleep in for a while (still not as late as he does) so it's better but not through any help from my husband. He's still takes them out in the early afternoon for a while though because I need time to myself.

I actually think that’s fair since he takes them out so you get alone time.

You are responding to me and no, it's not fair. Fair would be if I got to sleep in too sometimes (I could then take them out in the afternoon so he could get along time to be fair). I do not always want to wake up in the mornings. The hour between 8-9 on a saturday am is more precious than the hour of noon -1. But, it's better than fighting with him when he wakes up cranky as hell so it's the best I could do after years of trying for fairness.

[Anonymous]

60-70 hour work weeks. Up between 7 and 7:30 99% of the time, including weekends.

[Anonymous]

Some people are morning people and some people are NOT. This is unlikely to change any time soon. You are just being mean if you nag and get him up. Take care of YOU. Let him know your plans in advance, and then do them. Do chores and things in the afternoon or on weekdays.

Just because you think it is lazy to sleep until one doesn't mean you get to dictate what he does with his free time. I think video games are stupid. But guess what? I don't get to dictate what others do in their free time.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you hit the gym, then come home and make him a nice brunch?

[Anonymous]

I spend an entire day in bed once a month. DH handles the kids in the morning, and then in the afternoon they may come lay in bed with me and read or play cards with me or nap or something. I get up in time for dinner.

I am an introvert who leads a very extroverted life. It catches up to me once a month and this is how I deal with it. I think DH would be very worried about me if I did this every single weekend though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you hit the gym, then come home and make him a nice brunch?

That sounds so amazing. OP let's trade lives.

[Anonymous]

Does he work the night shift?

[Anonymous]

Damn. If he is working, let the man sleep and find something to do with yourself. Once you have kids he won't be able to enjoy this luxury again.

[Anonymous]

Does he have sleep apnea?

[Anonymous]

Is there any chance he has sleep apnea?

My husband does and this describes how he used to be - he could (and would) easily sleep until 2 on the weekends. Like everyone is saying, this really wasn't a big issue before we had kids - I'd just do my own thing or sometimes if we had (prearranged) plans I'd wake him up. But once we had kids it obviously needed to change - and it did, gradually. Initially he'd tend to sleep in one weekend day and then wake up at a more reasonable time (meaning like...9/10) the other one - he's never going to be the type to spring out of bed at 7:30 voluntarily, and I knew that going in. To his credit he definitely made a concerted effort, without me nagging (...much) or anything, once we had kids. But what really made the difference was finally getting checked for sleep apnea, and using a coal. He got one about a year ago and it's been a game changer. Don't get me wrong, he still loves his sleep. But nowadays he either sets an alarm for 9/9:30 or so, or I come in with our toddler around then and say good morning, and he's very receptive. I'll be honest - occasionally I still "let" him sleep in until 11 or so and he easily does. But he also understands that doing that every weekend just doesn't work when you have kids

[Anonymous]

2pm is way too late to sleep in. 9 or 10, at most, is still sleeping very late

However, "being productive" as you want shouldn't be expected, not when someone works 55-60 hrs a week