Does this sound sketchy?

[Anonymous]

I would want to touch base with the parents, probably by phone. I like the idea of also offering to host a sleepover. I am constantly reminding myself that my kids will be in college in a few short years, and I'd rather them figure things out and make mistakes now rather than later. They have to figure out how to negotiate situations without us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The poor kid hasn’t had friends for over a year. She finally gets invited to something and you’re thinking about not allowing her to go because you’ve heard rumors of wild parties not involving any kids involved in the sleepover in question? Are you trying to keep her ostracized so you can have weekend company of your own? If not knowing the parents is your only qualm, get the parents’ info and give them a quick call. Don’t keep your daughter isolated.

+1

+1,000. She got invited to a small sleepover and you're not going to do everything possible to facilitate when she's been miserable and socially withdrawn for a year? Are you out of your mind?

[Anonymous]

If I've never met the kids or the parents, the answer is no. If I have met the kids and spoken to the parents over the phone, then maybe.

[Anonymous]

I'm worried your DD sounds vulnerable. I wouldn't be totally comfortable with this. I'd say she's busy for the sleepover and let them plan some other fun thing another time. Sleepovers are bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I will be the Debbie Downer. I think unpopular girls who are new to a school are vulnerable to bad behavior by other girls in middle school. That isn't necessarily what is going on in your daughter's case, but I would keep the possibility open.

If your daughter has no friends and sees these girls as befriending her, she will find it very difficult to say "no" or stand up for herself if they ask her to do anything she doesn't feel comfortable doing, for example. Saying no will make them dump her.

My daughter in 7th grade had a few friends and they spoke via computer (whatever game they were playing); texted often (even to just ask questions about the homework); were in an after school club together, went to see a movie on the weekends, and sometimes went to birthday parties at a girls house, or ice skating rink. They actually never had a sleepover. I see a sleepover as an advanced social event for a group of girls, and wonder if your daughter is really a part of this friendship group if she never had any of those earlier activities.

So this could just be an extremely nice group of girls having a sleepover, and they invited your daughter because they like her and she's fun. But also, they could be not so nice. And your daughter talking abotu hearing about drinking and parties is concerning.

Does your daughter feel really comfortable with all the girls in the group? Are the girls nice and kind? Do they socialize on the weekends? If so did they invite your daughter? Are the girls in the sleepover the ones who tell your daughter about parties with alcohol?

This exactly. Beware.

+1