Phones - Am I being reasonable?

[Anonymous]

My 6th grade DD got our iphone 4. we turned off the data and she can use whatever apps will actually work on it, only when she is on our wifii. She uses it to text and call me at work and to text her friends. No social media until at least 13 is our rule. Honestly she has access to laptop and family ipad, so this phone isn't that exciting except that she got to buy a case (who knew they still make iphone 4 cases??) and it is for her to carry around. She checks it in every night and it is charged in kitchen. She knows that it is part of the deal that we can read her texts if we want (I don't at this stage of the game because they are mostly like "hi" "hi") and that it it is abused, it will be taken away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my DD is 12 and going into 7th grade in MoCo. She claims that ALL of her friends already have smartphones and that she absolutely NEEDS one so that she isn't left out. I wanted to wait until high school to get her a phone because I personally don't think age 12 is old enough for a phone. I also don't really have proof that her friends all have smartphones; kids rarely ever come to our house so it's not like I've ever seen any of her friends' phones. Do you think she is lying to me about this? My sister has 2 girls. She got them flip phones when they were 8 and smartphones when they were 10. I've always scolded her for doing it, but she insists that I should get my daughter a phone already. So, should I get her a phone? Do your kids have phones? When did you get them their phones, and what brand/model do they have?

At 10-12, depending on the kid, we provided a flip phone as well as an iPhone without cell service and that doesn’t leave the house. The “decommissioned” iPhone allowed them to text, FaceTime, and listen to music. We imposed strong parental controls and time limits on the iphones. The flip phones almost never left the kids’ backpacks or sports bags. They have them to contact us, but they have no real interest in them. I’m told they’re too embarrassed to pull them out in front of their friends. We plan to give each kid a real iPhone for their 14th birthdays, which we did with oldest DS. At that point, we will still have clear rules about the time/apps/etc that come with them.