Child won’t eat in school

[Anonymous]

Another person whose kid didn't eat in school. I think he ate occasionally in 7th grade and the. When he hit puberty he ate more often. He had/has an IEP but it never addressed eating (even when he was in feeding therapy) because no one felt it interfered with his education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I am shocked that so many pp's go right to anxiety and needs meds and doctors.

My DD didn't eat at school mostly because she was too excited! I thought the para-professional had the best advice to start.

Because this is the SNs board AND OP said she they "managed" last year and she is "worried sick" about this year, I'm pretty sure we are safe assuming that this is not a kid who is too excited to eat. Also, let's not make therapy some last resort intervention. All kids (and adults) can benefit from learning how to manage anxiety and difficult situations.

This kid hasn't even started full day school. If he was coming from daycare, and had been refusing to eat over a 10 hour day, I think many of us would suggest something different. But it's not a sure thing that a kid who can go 3 hours without eating at half day Kindergarten won't eat in full day school.

It's natural for OP to worry. That's what we parents do, but that doesn't mean that she shouldn't wait a few weeks and try some low key solutions before jumping to therapy. That doesn't mean that therapy is a last resort, but it's expensive and time consuming, and probably worth trying strategies like "put his favorite foods in his lunchbox first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow I am shocked that so many pp's go right to anxiety and needs meds and doctors.

My DD didn't eat at school mostly because she was too excited! I thought the para-professional had the best advice to start.

Because this is the SNs board AND OP said she they "managed" last year and she is "worried sick" about this year, I'm pretty sure we are safe assuming that this is not a kid who is too excited to eat. Also, let's not make therapy some last resort intervention. All kids (and adults) can benefit from learning how to manage anxiety and difficult situations.

This kid hasn't even started full day school. If he was coming from daycare, and had been refusing to eat over a 10 hour day, I think many of us would suggest something different. But it's not a sure thing that a kid who can go 3 hours without eating at half day Kindergarten won't eat in full day school.

It's natural for OP to worry. That's what we parents do, but that doesn't mean that she shouldn't wait a few weeks and try some low key solutions before jumping to therapy. That doesn't mean that therapy is a last resort, but it's expensive and time consuming, and probably worth trying strategies like "put his favorite foods in his lunchbox first.

Not eating in a half day program, no it’s not a huge deal, however if it is a long standing issue in a lower stress situation, it’s not going to magically fix itself within a few weeks of school. This isn’t a maturity issue.

[Anonymous]

...DP here. Do you really believe that a kid who ate a breakfast and two more meals after school at home will be hungry? I am not from US, but when I grow up, not too many kids ate school lunches (they were bad) and no one would bring lunch from home (maybe an apple). Everyone one were able to learn and most of us grew up healthy.


OP, have you tried just to ignore it completely? I would continue to pack something small, in case if he changes his mind one day, but would not concentrate his attention on food at all. Feed him with breakfast, and then he can eat lunch at home.

Yes, a kid who ate breakfast and then eats 2 more meals after school IS hungry at school. Research is quite clear that hungry kids do not learn as well as kid who are not hungry and those hungry kids are more likely to have behavioral issues. Your childhood is anecdotal and irrelevant (although I'm very skeptical that 'everyone' was able to learn).

OP - you've gotten some good suggestions on how things to try. I would also encourage you to contact your DS's teachers if you find he is not eating. In early ES, and especially in the first weeks of school, there are usually a number of teachers/volunteers helping. IME, every single one of those people encourage the kids to eat. If you give the teachers a heads up, they'll keep an eye out. I had one DS who, like a PP's DC, needed noise cancelling headphones to eat. I had another one who didn't eat because of medication. His teachers were excellent about getting him to at least drink his milk and, during pull out, eat a granola bar I packed for him. In fact, I gave her a Costco sized box so he and anyone else who needed a snack could have one. But, you do need to figure out why he doesn't eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another person whose kid didn't eat in school. I think he ate occasionally in 7th grade and the. When he hit puberty he ate more often. He had/has an IEP but it never addressed eating (even when he was in feeding therapy) because no one felt it interfered with his education.

Eating at lunch is part of socialization and peer relationships. It's sad that a kid in feeding therapy wouldn't have something in his IEP.

[Anonymous]

To PPs: what is the anxiety about eating at school usually rooted in? What does the child fear, in particular?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To PPs: what is the anxiety about eating at school usually rooted in? What does the child fear, in particular?

No one can diagnose a kid over the internet. It could be an OCD compulsion, it could be a sensory reaction b/c of the setting—crowded, noisy, smelly.

Some kids can’t go to the bathroom at school. This could be anxiety, ocd, behavioral, sensory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

...DP here. Do you really believe that a kid who ate a breakfast and two more meals after school at home will be hungry? I am not from US, but when I grow up, not too many kids ate school lunches (they were bad) and no one would bring lunch from home (maybe an apple). Everyone one were able to learn and most of us grew up healthy.


OP, have you tried just to ignore it completely? I would continue to pack something small, in case if he changes his mind one day, but would not concentrate his attention on food at all. Feed him with breakfast, and then he can eat lunch at home.

Yes, a kid who ate breakfast and then eats 2 more meals after school IS hungry at school. Research is quite clear that hungry kids do not learn as well as kid who are not hungry and those hungry kids are more likely to have behavioral issues. Your childhood is anecdotal and irrelevant (although I'm very skeptical that 'everyone' was able to learn).

OP - you've gotten some good suggestions on how things to try. I would also encourage you to contact your DS's teachers if you find he is not eating. In early ES, and especially in the first weeks of school, there are usually a number of teachers/volunteers helping. IME, every single one of those people encourage the kids to eat. If you give the teachers a heads up, they'll keep an eye out. I had one DS who, like a PP's DC, needed noise cancelling headphones to eat. I had another one who didn't eat because of medication. His teachers were excellent about getting him to at least drink his milk and, during pull out, eat a granola bar I packed for him. In fact, I gave her a Costco sized box so he and anyone else who needed a snack could have one. But, you do need to figure out why he doesn't eat.

New poster. Came on here to add what PP already said that I've put into bold above. Tell the teacher and also tell the school counselor. Don't make a big thing of it but do let them know that they may see your child is not eating; if you think it will help him to have encouragement from his teacher, then ask that he be encouraged. If he instead would freak out at encouragement from this new adult he doesn't know yet, then say that if he's not eating, the teacher/lunchroom aides/counselor should just let it go. Check back in after the first two weeks or so -- "Is Billy eating anything as far as you can tell?" Be clear that you're not some super-anxious parent who's monitoring a kid's every bite; you're a parent aware of a real issue and asking them for any feedback they may have.

At the same time, please do get him evaluated ASAP and find out the root of the issue and see if it's anxiety or anything else. Better to have him evaluated and rule out things than to do a "wait and see" while he gets worse in the new situation. If you do get any answers like anxiety, then work with the counselor and teacher(s) on how that should be handled by you, him and them, when he's at school.

The posters going on about how "kids won't starve" and "I didn't eat at school and am fine" don't seem to understand that kids who eat breakfast then go a full day of school with zero food (not even milk to drink, OP?), are kids whose blood sugar is sinking and sinking throughout the day. If he won't even drink at school, he is also going to be, not exactly dehydrated, but definitely lacking the right hydration. He also is going from half-day to full-day and that can be a huge change in the energy and concentration levels expected of a child; he may be so faded by the day's end he has trouble getting work done, or acts out. Expect him to be cranky when he gets home. If you plan to drive him to school, have a high-protein snack for him like cheese and really hefty crackers etc. IN the car with you. If he has a bus ride that takes time to get him home, that extends the time he's going without food.

Of course he won't starve if he doesnt' ever eat at school in the next 12 years. But he sure will do better if he can maintain his energy.

The teacher's ideas earlier about practicing with finger foods at home, sending foods to school in the same packaging you've practiced with at home, etc. are great ideas and I'd use them, but I'd also get him evaluated.

[Anonymous]

We supplement with a carnation instant drink with extra fat (heavy whipping cream) at school once a day in the nurse's office. If your child would be amenable to doing a "power" drink away from the other kids once a day, maybe that would work for you. We pack in about 350 calories add it gives her the energy to focus all afternoon. Now entering 4th grade and we've been doing it since kindergarten. My child eats at school but extremely slowly and we have been trying to keep her on a growth curve since she was 3. She came off chemo and because of medical condition, she chews extremely slowly so lunch is such a chaotic time that she doesn't eat enough. She socializes a lot at lunch also. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We supplement with a carnation instant drink with extra fat (heavy whipping cream) at school once a day in the nurse's office. If your child would be amenable to doing a "power" drink away from the other kids once a day, maybe that would work for you. We pack in about 350 calories add it gives her the energy to focus all afternoon. Now entering 4th grade and we've been doing it since kindergarten. My child eats at school but extremely slowly and we have been trying to keep her on a growth curve since she was 3. She came off chemo and because of medical condition, she chews extremely slowly so lunch is such a chaotic time that she doesn't eat enough. She socializes a lot at lunch also. Good luck!

+1

Obviously you want to get to the root of it, but maybe drinking something would work for now? Start in an office or empty classroom and gradually move locations or see if you can add more foods? My DS doesn't really eat at school either (not hungry due to meds), but he will at least drink a carnation drink (250-300 calories/10g of protein) so he's not totally empty.

Good luck, OP—I know how stressful eating issues are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We supplement with a carnation instant drink with extra fat (heavy whipping cream) at school once a day in the nurse's office. If your child would be amenable to doing a "power" drink away from the other kids once a day, maybe that would work for you. We pack in about 350 calories add it gives her the energy to focus all afternoon. Now entering 4th grade and we've been doing it since kindergarten. My child eats at school but extremely slowly and we have been trying to keep her on a growth curve since she was 3. She came off chemo and because of medical condition, she chews extremely slowly so lunch is such a chaotic time that she doesn't eat enough. She socializes a lot at lunch also. Good luck!

+1

Obviously you want to get to the root of it, but maybe drinking something would work for now? Start in an office or empty classroom and gradually move locations or see if you can add more foods? My DS doesn't really eat at school either (not hungry due to meds), but he will at least drink a carnation drink (250-300 calories/10g of protein) so he's not totally empty.

Good luck, OP—I know how stressful eating issues are.

14:21 here. I totally agree and am sorry I forgot to chime in with this! We used Boost Extra Protein - Chocolate (they also have vanilla and strawberry). It took me a long time to accept that nutrition didn't need to be chewed. It's got enough carbs/protein and it tastes great. My kids were usually always motivated to drink one. As they got older, we were able to move to the less expensive Muscle Milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We supplement with a carnation instant drink with extra fat (heavy whipping cream) at school once a day in the nurse's office. If your child would be amenable to doing a "power" drink away from the other kids once a day, maybe that would work for you. We pack in about 350 calories add it gives her the energy to focus all afternoon. Now entering 4th grade and we've been doing it since kindergarten. My child eats at school but extremely slowly and we have been trying to keep her on a growth curve since she was 3. She came off chemo and because of medical condition, she chews extremely slowly so lunch is such a chaotic time that she doesn't eat enough. She socializes a lot at lunch also. Good luck!

+1

Obviously you want to get to the root of it, but maybe drinking something would work for now? Start in an office or empty classroom and gradually move locations or see if you can add more foods? My DS doesn't really eat at school either (not hungry due to meds), but he will at least drink a carnation drink (250-300 calories/10g of protein) so he's not totally empty.

Good luck, OP—I know how stressful eating issues are.

14:21 here. I totally agree and am sorry I forgot to chime in with this! We used Boost Extra Protein - Chocolate (they also have vanilla and strawberry). It took me a long time to accept that nutrition didn't need to be chewed. It's got enough carbs/protein and it tastes great. My kids were usually always motivated to drink one. As they got older, we were able to move to the less expensive Muscle Milk.

I think this is true for a short term solution or a kid who has obvious medical needs, but it’s why understanding the root is so important.

[Anonymous]

Mine would do this at camp when she had swimming lessons and had to eat with the older kids. Drove me crazy! DD and I chatted and she agreed to eat a protein bar (Cliff) and applesauce pouch when around the older kids, so I made sure she always had those two things everyday. Maybe you can find out if there is an item or two from your child that they would be okay eating/drinking? Yeti cups are amazing at keeping things cold, you could feasibly send in a smoothie/milkshake as well so your child is getting some sort of nutrition.

Maybe also check with their teacher if they can eat in the classroom? I know my daughters teacher did that as incentives for the kids. May be a good starting place (then progressing to another friend joining them, then a small group, etc).

[Anonymous]

When I was in elementary school I would not eat at school. Listening to kids chew made me sick. It lasted for a whole school year. It was just a quirky thing about me, I wasn’t anxious or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To PPs: what is the anxiety about eating at school usually rooted in? What does the child fear, in particular?

Kids with generalized anxiety disorders are often not scared of something specific. Instead they are in a generalized state of hyper vigilance/hyper arousal. Doing things in that state can be challenging, but it doesn’t mean that they are afraid of the specific thing they aren’t able to do.

For example, let’s imagine that there is someone you idolize, maybe you are a cellist and Yo Yo Ma is your hero. You are invited to a master class with him. It starts with a reception, but you are too nervous to eat so you mingle with a glass in hand. You aren’t scared of the canapés. You aren’t scared of Yo Yo Ma. You might even be happy to be there, it’s just a lot.