MCPS class assignments

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this in the gentlest way possible:

It is possible that your DD’s friends’ parents have asked that they not be in the same class. At least three times during my teaching career, parents requested that I keep their daughter out of groups with a friend going through a rough time. It seems cruel, but was to protect the mental health of a daughter overwhelmed by the other girl’s emotional needs. I was sworn to keep that confident and it meant that I had to appear the bad guy in the eyes of the student who wanted to be with her friend. I imagine principals and guidance counselors face this much, much more.

That could be the situation. But, if its not... OP, as a teacher who has seen this happen, go ahead and be a PITA. Keep going to the principal and go above him if you're not getting results. I've seen parents get some ridiculous accommodations (not in the IEP sense, though) just because they didn't let it go. If you think it's that vital that your DD be in the other class, don't be afraid to be "that parent." I've seen parents get their child moved out of a class because there were "too many Hispanic kids." I've seen a parent get her upper elementary twins into the same class because it was easier for her. I've seen parents demand that their child not have a particular teacher, and get what they wanted. It can happen. It does depend on the principal but if you're willing to die on this hill, it can be done.

OP
I guess, that is what i have to do, as being a responsible parent who volunteers countless hours in the school, as i know our teachers need as much help as we can give, isn't the only thing parents should do. If we have unscrupulous officials, we should also know how to handle them. I truly appreciate all your support, and thoughts. I will keep you posted on the proceedings.

[Anonymous]

Give the new class a shot first. If it's a different mix of girls, it could be DD's exclusion the year before was due to influence of specific kids who won't be present this year and then other girls may be more willing to be friends. Or there will be new kids in the school who will also be looking to make a new friend. Try to go into the year optimistic and then if things fall apart again, you can go to the principal with more evidence that you gave it a good and honest try but the problems still persisted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this in the gentlest way possible:

It is possible that your DD’s friends’ parents have asked that they not be in the same class. At least three times during my teaching career, parents requested that I keep their daughter out of groups with a friend going through a rough time. It seems cruel, but was to protect the mental health of a daughter overwhelmed by the other girl’s emotional needs. I was sworn to keep that confident and it meant that I had to appear the bad guy in the eyes of the student who wanted to be with her friend. I imagine principals and guidance counselors face this much, much more.

Wow, i've never thought of that. But, with out me asking my DD's friend's mom texted me saying that she put in a request asking for same class as my DD, and she was surprised that they would not honor that.
Anyway, will look into all other options, otherwise, taking my DD out of this insensitive environment might be the best idea.

Our DD has been the "friend of the excluded" and it was extremely difficult on DD. The excluded child behaved in ways that caused other kids to avoid her, and put a lot of pressure on our DD to be the one to fix the problems.

I also mean this gently, but there are social skills classes out there for kids. I dearly wished that my DD's excluded friend's parents would have signed her up for one of these classes.

[Anonymous]

If it were me, I'd probably have my child speak with a child psychologist so the psychologist could evaluate and write up a report. I'd then take that report to the school guidance counselor and see if the guidance counselor could intervene. If that didn't work, I'd then send a certified letter to the principal and the Superintendent along with an abbreviated copy of the report and tell them that you are requesting a reasonable accommodation for your child. If that didn't work, I'd hire a lawyer. Honestly, I am so tired of these public schools and their BS excuses. This is your daughter's mental health. You've already given it a try. It didn't work. Her mental health is more important than this excuse the principal is giving you. Time to shake things up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it were me, I'd probably have my child speak with a child psychologist so the psychologist could evaluate and write up a report. I'd then take that report to the school guidance counselor and see if the guidance counselor could intervene. If that didn't work, I'd then send a certified letter to the principal and the Superintendent along with an abbreviated copy of the report and tell them that you are requesting a reasonable accommodation for your child. If that didn't work, I'd hire a lawyer. Honestly, I am so tired of these public schools and their BS excuses. This is your daughter's mental health. You've already given it a try. It didn't work. Her mental health is more important than this excuse the principal is giving you. Time to shake things up!

And where does that leave OP and her daughter when it comes out that the friends she thought had requested to be with her actually asked that they be separated? It's a distinct possibility and the principal will not outright say that for privacy reasons. I wouldn't necessarily trust that the friend's mom is telling the truth about that because it makes their lives easier to lie. Schools usually want to make things like this work if it's easy switch which it sounds like it would have been but there's something holding it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were me, I'd probably have my child speak with a child psychologist so the psychologist could evaluate and write up a report. I'd then take that report to the school guidance counselor and see if the guidance counselor could intervene. If that didn't work, I'd then send a certified letter to the principal and the Superintendent along with an abbreviated copy of the report and tell them that you are requesting a reasonable accommodation for your child. If that didn't work, I'd hire a lawyer. Honestly, I am so tired of these public schools and their BS excuses. This is your daughter's mental health. You've already given it a try. It didn't work. Her mental health is more important than this excuse the principal is giving you. Time to shake things up!

And where does that leave OP and her daughter when it comes out that the friends she thought had requested to be with her actually asked that they be separated? It's a distinct possibility and the principal will not outright say that for privacy reasons. I wouldn't necessarily trust that the friend's mom is telling the truth about that because it makes their lives easier to lie. Schools usually want to make things like this work if it's easy switch which it sounds like it would have been but there's something holding it up.

I could definitely see a concerned parent proactively lying that they want the kids together while telling the school that their DD is being negatively impacted by the other child’s dependency.

[Anonymous]

This is a growth opportunity. Your school is small. Many schools have four or five classes per grade, and you almost never end up assigned to the same class as your best friend. Instead, you learn to deal with it, sometimes by making new friends and other times by learning that even if you don’t, the world keeps turning on its axis. Much more valuable lesson in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it were me, I'd probably have my child speak with a child psychologist so the psychologist could evaluate and write up a report. I'd then take that report to the school guidance counselor and see if the guidance counselor could intervene. If that didn't work, I'd then send a certified letter to the principal and the Superintendent along with an abbreviated copy of the report and tell them that you are requesting a reasonable accommodation for your child. If that didn't work, I'd hire a lawyer. Honestly, I am so tired of these public schools and their BS excuses. This is your daughter's mental health. You've already given it a try. It didn't work. Her mental health is more important than this excuse the principal is giving you. Time to shake things up!

Hire a lawyer because she didn’t get assigned to the same class as her friend? I assume this is a joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it were me, I'd probably have my child speak with a child psychologist so the psychologist could evaluate and write up a report. I'd then take that report to the school guidance counselor and see if the guidance counselor could intervene. If that didn't work, I'd then send a certified letter to the principal and the Superintendent along with an abbreviated copy of the report and tell them that you are requesting a reasonable accommodation for your child. If that didn't work, I'd hire a lawyer. Honestly, I am so tired of these public schools and their BS excuses. This is your daughter's mental health. You've already given it a try. It didn't work. Her mental health is more important than this excuse the principal is giving you. Time to shake things up!

Hire a lawyer because she didn’t get assigned to the same class as her friend? I assume this is a joke.

Probably not a joke. MoCo parents are incredibly litigious.