Did you marry "down"?

[Anonymous]

I've several friends with sons who stand to inherit and are perpetual graduate students/adolescents/stoners. I wouldn't wish them on anyone I liked.

[Anonymous]

I have two ivy league degrees and a "fancy" job and married a military officer who put himself through a state college.... I can tell a lot of my colleagues think I "married down," but f*** 'em.

I do think there can sometimes be unexpected tensions about family, friends, kids.... DH had a horrible childhood with emotionally abusive parents, and sometimes reverts to "I walked ten miles through the snow" when it comes to our kids. But we work them out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My very traditional mother used to regard “unequal” wedding announcements (local paper) with horror. The ones where the bride has a PhD from MIT and the groom is a part time ferret groomer.

She was a part-time preschool teacher while my dad was a c-level exec, but to her, that was as it should be.

Whatever works.

She could always have aspired to ferret groomer. To bad, she quit at grooming the next generation of sexists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents are doctors and I married a fireman. I am a teacher. What peoole didn't expect is that my husband would start a painting b uisness on his off days and over 12 years it's grown into an extra 200k a year for our family. We now have 3 crews. I wonder to myself if that didn't happen (bc we truly didn't expect it) would I still be happy? I think so but I do find myself relived that we can afford some of the comforts I had growing up. Mostly in reference to my kids...competitive sports for example. However because our careers are middle class our social circle is too and I find these people much much more down to earth and genuine then the upper middle class circles I grew up in. Even my mom commented on the fact we have better friends!

Wow you really married down. It must be a big struggle for you....seeing what your parents have and what you could have. I can feel the tension in your post.

I wouldn’t call marrying a fireman “ marrying down”. I would call that being married to a heroic, selfless man. It’s absolutely sickening to me that ball players and celebs get paid millions, yet our military, cops, fireman, etc., get paid barley anything to risk their lives for our safety and freedom. You married a great man, never feel bad about that.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents are doctors and I married a fireman. I am a teacher. What peoole didn't expect is that my husband would start a painting b uisness on his off days and over 12 years it's grown into an extra 200k a year for our family. We now have 3 crews. I wonder to myself if that didn't happen (bc we truly didn't expect it) would I still be happy? I think so but I do find myself relived that we can afford some of the comforts I had growing up. Mostly in reference to my kids...competitive sports for example. However because our careers are middle class our social circle is too and I find these people much much more down to earth and genuine then the upper middle class circles I grew up in. Even my mom commented on the fact we have better friends!

Wow you really married down. It must be a big struggle for you....seeing what your parents have and what you could have. I can feel the tension in your post.

I wouldn’t call marrying a fireman “ marrying down”. I would call that being married to a heroic, selfless man. It’s absolutely sickening to me that ball players and celebs get paid millions, yet our military, cops, fireman, etc., get paid barley anything to risk their lives for our safety and freedom. You married a great man, never feel bad about that.

+1.

Yes marrying a ball player or celeb is hitting the lottery.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a pretty upper class home and my parents thought I was marrying down because my DH wasn't from money nor had he gone to a prestigious school. But I thought he was really cute, smart and you could really sense ambition. They weren't mean to him but for the first 5 or so years they didn't treat him like family, even when we had a baby, and it drove me nuts but DH was unfazed - I married you, not your parents. He has gone to be incredibly successful, making far more money than my parents ever did. Of course now my parents are very proud of him but DH maintains his unfazed attitude which I really enjoy.