Anyone else HATE having people to their home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will admit to becoming quite anxious when people come by, but I have to remember that people love me for me and are not looking at the toys or tiny dining room!

I don't like my kitchen. So, when people come over the first time, I always think about it. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one that thinks this or that about her own house.

I am the PP you are quoting.

I was insecure about this growing up too, and most of friends had a lot of money and huge houses and I was ALWAYS embarrassed!

I actually have had to consciously stop apologizing for my little house and just be grateful and proud. It makes others so uncomfortable when I am uncomfortable!

I grew up in one of the wealthiest areas in the DC region. We rented a really small dumpy house just so we could go to the BEST public schools the region had to offer. I never felt embarrassed, I just thought it really cool to have friends with homes so big that their parents had no clue we were boozing it up in the basement. I still keep in touch with many of my HS friends who mostly went onto good schools and have all the privledges in life that comes with having wealthy parents. They come to my modest home and we all have a good time. I think most posters here have some personal problems that are manufactured internally. I do not feel this level of insecurity about my present small home. Our house is not grand, but I keep it clean and take care of it, so I have a lot of pride in all of the things we have worked hard for in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My house is not considered good enough by the vast majority of people I meet though all-consuming schools.

They say this, or you read their minds?

Comments on locations, others homes, decor. Anyone with a small degree of social skills gets the message. I am not the only one. A few "I don't see how people live there/like that..."

The beauty of the friendship is that we have a significant degree of total control over we choose of have that relatingship with. Why would you choose to socialize with people who would make you feel like your house (you) are not good enough.

I don't. Stuck with them at school functions and sporting events. They socialize with each other at said events and other stuff .................the lower folk are conspicuous in their exclusion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will admit to becoming quite anxious when people come by, but I have to remember that people love me for me and are not looking at the toys or tiny dining room!

I don't like my kitchen. So, when people come over the first time, I always think about it. I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one that thinks this or that about her own house.

I am the PP you are quoting.

I was insecure about this growing up too, and most of friends had a lot of money and huge houses and I was ALWAYS embarrassed!

I actually have had to consciously stop apologizing for my little house and just be grateful and proud. It makes others so uncomfortable when I am uncomfortable!

I grew up in one of the wealthiest areas in the DC region. We rented a really small dumpy house just so we could go to the BEST public schools the region had to offer. I never felt embarrassed, I just thought it really cool to have friends with homes so big that their parents had no clue we were boozing it up in the basement. I still keep in touch with many of my HS friends who mostly went onto good schools and have all the privledges in life that comes with having wealthy parents. They come to my modest home and we all have a good time. I think most posters here have some personal problems that are manufactured internally. I do not feel this level of insecurity about my present small home. Our house is not grand, but I keep it clean and take care of it, so I have a lot of pride in all of the things we have worked hard for in life.

What does "manufactured internally" mean?

[Anonymous]

I used to hate it too because I would be so anxious about how my house looked, but now that I have given in to the chaos of two little kids running around, it's become easier to entertain. Basically I just try to focus on the joy of having some good company over. I also enjoy watching my daughter (my son is still too little) play with her friends. Plus when it's a meal we cook for another one or two families, it just seems like happy chaos with so many kids all over the place. Since my house is never immaculate (it's all well-lived in house), it's no big deal to have something fall to the floor or toys scatter about. Who cares? My kids make a big enough mess on their own, why worry what other kids do to my house? Of course, I won't invited kids over who will do more damage to my house than my own kids do, but that's another matter.
Oh, and just like a PP said, knowing that company is coming over, it helps me motivate to get the house cleaned up. I guess I just love people around....the more the merrier.

[Anonymous]

After the playdate from hell a while ago made me realize I officially HATE having ppl over.

[Anonymous]

gee, i thought it was just me having pangs about entertaining and having people over.

[Anonymous]

I love being social in public places. I hate having people over and I'm also not a fan of going over to other people's houses. Its a little stressful (Can I help you in the kitchens? Is my house clean?) but most of all its boring (family albums, dull food). It just feels sluggish. My God, there are hundreds of interesting things to go out and do. Why stay at home?

[Anonymous]

I love to have people over, my friends don't judge the size or the wall color of my house ... they just want to talk , be with me...I thought having friends over is to have a good time , good food... not showing off you house or whatever... you are so ridiculus.

Just call a housekeeper and order some GOOD food.

and you would have the minimum to do.

RELAX or stay in your little bubble AFFRAID OF WHAT ODERS WILL SAY ABOUT YOUR NEW FRAME ON THE WALL.. GEEEEEEEEEZ

[Anonymous]

I really hate having people over. DH wants to bring some buddies from work over (whom I never met ever) and I just had an absolute panic attack.

Strange guys + alcohol (He wants to bring em over for beer and Xbox) scare me to no end. But I'm a freak of nature that way.

Normally I hate having people over, even family, but strange men who are drinking scare me Itless

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love being social in public places. I hate having people over and I'm also not a fan of going over to other people's houses. Its a little stressful (Can I help you in the kitchens? Is my house clean?) but most of all its boring (family albums, dull food). It just feels sluggish. My God, there are hundreds of interesting things to go out and do. Why stay at home?

You need more interesting friends. Or you need to be more interesting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today, I finally admitted to myself that I HATE having people over to my home. I am a very social person and love getting together with friends, but I become so anxious when anyone visits - is my house clean enough? What will we eat? How does the lawn look? Will people notice the crappy paint job in the living room? Should we eat outside or inside? Where should I put the crudites? Etc. etc. I find myself secretly hoping that people will cancel on us after we invite them over. I dread the visits for days beforehand. Anyone else like this? How do you deal? I am an anxious person by nature and I care too much what people think about me, I need to get over it! Our friends have had to invite themselves over in order to meet our now-several-months-old baby.

Just came home after spending Thanksgiving with you. Had a wonderful time-the baby is too adorable. Never noticed whether or not your house was clean, didn't give any thought to your lawn, paid no attention to where the crudites were located (but that was a really good dip you made). All the other food was terrific and the company, even better. Thanks again for having me and thinking about me. OXOXOXO

[Anonymous]

"My house is not considered good enough by the vast majority of people I meet though all-consuming schools. Location , furniture, lack of staff, lack of high end restaurant quality cooking. Huge downside to "Big 3" is the fact that as a parent I am part of a permanent underclass."

Um, Boo-Hoo?!?!?

Really, get a grip.

[Anonymous]

I Live with my mom right now and people are comeing over all the time. Her friends, my brothers friends. sometimes people spend the night, it drives me crazy! I am supposed to have my own place in a year, aleast I hope, this way no one will come over and it will be just me and my cat. I'm realy looking forward to this! I can't stand people coming over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I Live with my mom right now and people are comeing over all the time. Her friends, my brothers friends. sometimes people spend the night, it drives me crazy! I am supposed to have my own place in a year, aleast I hope, this way no one will come over and it will be just me and my cat. I'm realy looking forward to this! I can't stand people coming over.

Is that why you keep replying to threads that are three years old? Perhaps job search instead of thread search

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, there are certainly a lot of insecure people on this board. I love having people over and have been doing it since my law school days. I have never worried about what people will think of the house (I usually keep it reasonalbly clean). The idea to to have fun and if there are people who will judge you based on the size of the house or the quality of the furniture or whether the food is catered then you should not have invited them and they probably will not come again if given a second invitation.

Thank you for calling us insecure. I was wondering what was wrong and now I know since you were kind enough to come on and label it. Now, I am insecure about being insecure especially since you have been throwing parties since your law school days.

Agree w/you pp. I'm a lawyer and boy why do some us seem to have no clue how ridiculously arrogant we can sound? Of course it's not just lawyers; it's a just a clueless attitude that seems to be prevalent in affluent urban areas. Casually tossing off comment about what you did in professional school when you are not amongst similarly situated people sounds soooo insecure.