S/O Are women threatened by other women who are sexually aggressive?

[Anonymous]

To each their own, but I have never felt a need to be aggressive with males outside of ones I was already with. Guys pretty much are dtf, so I let them come to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

It's not a weird thing to say at all. A lot has to do with social constructs, but on the whole, men tend to be more direct, and women tend to be more passive-aggressive. For some women, it's far easier to deal with men, even men at their worst, because at least they know where they stand. It's far trickier navigating the social dynamics of a group of women than it is navigating the social dynamics of a group of men. I don't think it's biological. I think it's how boys and girls are socialized. And for some women, it's just far easier to deal with men, even very aggressive men, than it is to deal with the subtle aggression you find in groups of women. There's a reason the term "mean girls" exist.

And I'm not PP. I wouldn't say I get along with one sex better than the other, but I think it's definitely more straightforward dealing with men than it is with women. I've also never seen quite the manipulation and group shunning of a woman from a group of men the way I've seen it from a group of women.

Eh. If your MO is to ignore women and hang all over men in any situation, women aren't going to like you. It doesn't have to do with mean girls. It has to do with being a woman who derives her self worth from being sexy to men.

Exactly. If you go into every situation with a "I don't like women, I just like the men" attitude then...pretty hypocritical for you to act like the issue is that women don't like you. I'm guessing it has little to do with you liking sex, and a lot more to do with that attitude

Yeah, I need more information from the original PP about how other women know she is "sexually aggressive". Because if it is behavior that another poster has described: forcing herself into the center of attention, constantly making sexual jokes and/or discussing her sexual urges and exploits, I don't like her either. And it has nothing to do with the reasons she has described. It's because the behavior is tacky, boring, and sadly needy.

I mean, think about a guy always discussing his hard on. Gross.

And I have several women friends who are very in charge of their own sexuality and assertive with men with whom they are interested. But I only know about it because we are close, good friends. If PP is turning off large groups of women I suspect it has nothing to do with her sex life per se, but rather how she presents herself and interacts outside of the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

It's not a weird thing to say at all. A lot has to do with social constructs, but on the whole, men tend to be more direct, and women tend to be more passive-aggressive. For some women, it's far easier to deal with men, even men at their worst, because at least they know where they stand. It's far trickier navigating the social dynamics of a group of women than it is navigating the social dynamics of a group of men. I don't think it's biological. I think it's how boys and girls are socialized. And for some women, it's just far easier to deal with men, even very aggressive men, than it is to deal with the subtle aggression you find in groups of women. There's a reason the term "mean girls" exist.

And I'm not PP. I wouldn't say I get along with one sex better than the other, but I think it's definitely more straightforward dealing with men than it is with women. I've also never seen quite the manipulation and group shunning of a woman from a group of men the way I've seen it from a group of women.

Eh. If your MO is to ignore women and hang all over men in any situation, women aren't going to like you. It doesn't have to do with mean girls. It has to do with being a woman who derives her self worth from being sexy to men.

Exactly. If you go into every situation with a "I don't like women, I just like the men" attitude then...pretty hypocritical for you to act like the issue is that women don't like you. I'm guessing it has little to do with you liking sex, and a lot more to do with that attitude

Yeah, I need more information from the original PP about how other women know she is "sexually aggressive". Because if it is behavior that another poster has described: forcing herself into the center of attention, constantly making sexual jokes and/or discussing her sexual urges and exploits, I don't like her either. And it has nothing to do with the reasons she has described. It's because the behavior is tacky, boring, and sadly needy.

I mean, think about a guy always discussing his hard on. Gross.

And I have several women friends who are very in charge of their own sexuality and assertive with men with whom they are interested. But I only know about it because we are close, good friends. If PP is turning off large groups of women I suspect it has nothing to do with her sex life per se, but rather how she presents herself and interacts outside of the bedroom.

+1!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

I agree with other that this is not a weird thing to say. I must have heard this from 50 different women over the years (I'm a guy). What kind of rock have you lived under that this is weird to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

I agree with other that this is not a weird thing to say. I must have heard this from 50 different women over the years (I'm a guy). What kind of rock have you lived under that this is weird to you?

If you are a woman without any women friends, you are severely missing out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

I agree with other that this is not a weird thing to say. I must have heard this from 50 different women over the years (I'm a guy). What kind of rock have you lived under that this is weird to you?

If you are a woman without any women friends, you are severely missing out.

Missing out on what?

[Anonymous]

A lot of women lack self confidence. One needs self confidence to approach another person to ask them out. It is much easier to sit back and wait for other to approach you. The problem with the passive approach is that you do not get the one you want. Now if the one you want is approached and taken by another, you see that person as competition and not playing by the rules. A threat.
It is easy to strike out against other women who you see as a threat. Thinking back to high school most of the slut shaming and bullying was done by females to other females.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

I agree with other that this is not a weird thing to say. I must have heard this from 50 different women over the years (I'm a guy). What kind of rock have you lived under that this is weird to you?

If you are a woman without any women friends, you are severely missing out.

Missing out on what?

I used to be one of those women who didn't have any girlfriends. I got along much better with guys. Turns out, most of those guys (except the gay ones) wanted to f&$k me and stuck around in hopes of that. Once I was in a relationship which was headed to marriage, these guys disappeared. I now have two female best friends and many other women I am close to. The benefit is these are people who understand me, are caring and supportive, who would and have been there for me and my family in tough times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women lack self confidence. One needs self confidence to approach another person to ask them out. It is much easier to sit back and wait for other to approach you. The problem with the passive approach is that you do not get the one you want. Now if the one you want is approached and taken by another, you see that person as competition and not playing by the rules. A threat.
It is easy to strike out against other women who you see as a threat. Thinking back to high school most of the slut shaming and bullying was done by females to other females.

And the bullies targets only mistake was usually being pretty and nice, and the guys noticed it. Next thing you know they were slandered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

How do other women know you are sexually aggressive? You tell them?

[Anonymous]

I consider myself to be sexually aggressive but no one knows it except my DH and I get no complaints from him. Fortunately, he's always ready, willing and able which makes for a great relationship as I have no need to do anything on the outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmmm....well I would say the women in my life I'd consider sexually aggressive made it clear in a weird tacky way, hanging all over the men and standing too close and braying at everything the men said. Not that these women were trying to actually do anything with other women's husbands necessarily, just that they needed to make it clear that a sexpot had arrived and all eyes on them. And no, I wasn't jealous, I'm secure and happy in my own female vibe and marriage and yes it was that obvious, how else would I know they were sexually aggressive? It's not as if I asked or was in the bedroom with them. They made it quite clear, kind of like vegans.

This description captures these kinds of women quite well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

I agree with other that this is not a weird thing to say. I must have heard this from 50 different women over the years (I'm a guy). What kind of rock have you lived under that this is weird to you?

No, I'm not saying it's something I've never heard before or that it's rare or anything (although often women that say it are trying to imply that they're unique). I'm saying it's a very odd thing to say - and is generally a red flag.

How many of those 50 women do you think we're trying to flirt with / impress you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

I agree with other that this is not a weird thing to say. I must have heard this from 50 different women over the years (I'm a guy). What kind of rock have you lived under that this is weird to you?

If you are a woman without any women friends, you are severely missing out.

Missing out on what?

I used to be one of those women who didn't have any girlfriends. I got along much better with guys. Turns out, most of those guys (except the gay ones) wanted to f&$k me and stuck around in hopes of that. Once I was in a relationship which was headed to marriage, these guys disappeared. I now have two female best friends and many other women I am close to. The benefit is these are people who understand me, are caring and supportive, who would and have been there for me and my family in tough times.

Yes!!! This. Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Women who will throw over their girlfriends to hang out with men ... usually aren't the women I want to hang out with.

I do feel that a woman who always says she prefers the company of men to the company of women has a problem. Low self-esteem, something else? I don't know. Because women-women friendships are really wonderful, affirming, and important. And if you can't get along with other women I think you need some counseling to figure out what is going on there. By putting down half of the population -- your own half -- you've just made yourself suspect in my eyes.