S/O Are women threatened by other women who are sexually aggressive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know if a woman is sexually aggressive?

I'm sexually aggressive when I want to be, and love sex, but no one outside of close girlfriends or lovers would know this.

I guess part of the dynamic is that if the woman wants to have sex with a guy, he's going to know about it. Third parties probably won't know what's going on in the bedroom, but there is likely to be flirting or other initiation that starts in places where third parties can see what's going on.

[Anonymous]

*exists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Threatened? No. Why would I feel threatened by that?

If you've decided to make your entire shtick, "I'm a happy shameless proud slut and that makes me special and unique!", I'm probably just kind of bored / annoyed by you and won't choose to spend much time around you.

You're kind of burning down a straw man there. There's a middle ground where women can do exactly what men do: be forthright that they like having sex and, when they find a guy attractive, flirt with him and make it pretty clear they want to have sex with him. Guys aren't called "shameless sluts" when they do this.

[Anonymous]

If you look up the definition of aggression, it is in any form a negative term. In its most positive light, it is used in sports to connote a fighting, hyper-competitive mentality. So when you add the idea of aggressive to sexuality, of course other human of any gender might be put off.

But maybe you didn't mean aggressive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

It's not a weird thing to say at all. A lot has to do with social constructs, but on the whole, men tend to be more direct, and women tend to be more passive-aggressive. For some women, it's far easier to deal with men, even men at their worst, because at least they know where they stand. It's far trickier navigating the social dynamics of a group of women than it is navigating the social dynamics of a group of men. I don't think it's biological. I think it's how boys and girls are socialized. And for some women, it's just far easier to deal with men, even very aggressive men, than it is to deal with the subtle aggression you find in groups of women. There's a reason the term "mean girls" exist.

And I'm not PP. I wouldn't say I get along with one sex better than the other, but I think it's definitely more straightforward dealing with men than it is with women. I've also never seen quite the manipulation and group shunning of a woman from a group of men the way I've seen it from a group of women.

Eh. If your MO is to ignore women and hang all over men in any situation, women aren't going to like you. It doesn't have to do with mean girls. It has to do with being a woman who derives her self worth from being sexy to men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Threatened? No. Why would I feel threatened by that?

If you've decided to make your entire shtick, "I'm a happy shameless proud slut and that makes me special and unique!", I'm probably just kind of bored / annoyed by you and won't choose to spend much time around you.

You're kind of burning down a straw man there. There's a middle ground where women can do exactly what men do: be forthright that they like having sex and, when they find a guy attractive, flirt with him and make it pretty clear they want to have sex with him. Guys aren't called "shameless sluts" when they do this.

Yeah I thought about clarifying there. I am talking about women who declare this proudly, using these exact words

That's what I'm saying: there's totally a middle ground, and if you're taking the middle ground (ie just keeping this to an interaction between you and the guy), it's not like I would even KNOW about it...much less care or feel threatened

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you look up the definition of aggression, it is in any form a negative term. In its most positive light, it is used in sports to connote a fighting, hyper-competitive mentality. So when you add the idea of aggressive to sexuality, of course other human of any gender might be put off.

But maybe you didn't mean aggressive?

That's a bit simplistic. The reality is that men who are sexually aggressive aren't viewed as negatively as women who are sexually aggressive. In some ways, men who are sexually aggressive are respected by other men. Women who are sexually aggressive are shamed by other women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

It's not a weird thing to say at all. A lot has to do with social constructs, but on the whole, men tend to be more direct, and women tend to be more passive-aggressive. For some women, it's far easier to deal with men, even men at their worst, because at least they know where they stand. It's far trickier navigating the social dynamics of a group of women than it is navigating the social dynamics of a group of men. I don't think it's biological. I think it's how boys and girls are socialized. And for some women, it's just far easier to deal with men, even very aggressive men, than it is to deal with the subtle aggression you find in groups of women. There's a reason the term "mean girls" exist.

And I'm not PP. I wouldn't say I get along with one sex better than the other, but I think it's definitely more straightforward dealing with men than it is with women. I've also never seen quite the manipulation and group shunning of a woman from a group of men the way I've seen it from a group of women.

I mean....it sounds like you're part of the problem here if you're stereotyping and writing off an entire gender. I know plenty of straightforward women (and plenty of drama queen guys)...and incidentally I can tell you that there is zero overlap between straightforward women and "just one of the guys!" girls, as much as they to push it. I'm not the type to walk into a sorority house / junior league meeting and feel right at home either...but it's your loss if you lump all women I. Together. You're missing out. If you have daughters, please do not perpetuate this ridiculous falsehood on them...female friendships are invaluable.

There's a reason the phrase "men are assholes" exists too...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

I don’t like you because you’re trying way too hard.

Majorly. +1 million

+3. Trying way too hard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm what most people would consider sexually aggressive. Reasons women have not liked me

1. They think I'm after their guy. I've never cheated or been the other woman (this was more in college though)
2. They think I'm faking it. Nope, I really enjoy sex.
3. They think I was either sexually traumatized or have low self steem and seek out male approval. Neither are true.
4. This likely doesn't have to do with my sexual aggression, but I tend to get along with men better than women.
5. My favorite and one that I've only seen once or twice...that I'm cheapening the feminism movement/I'm an embarrassment to feminists. Never understood that argument

It used to bother me when I was younger. But then I realized the beauty of being in charge of your sexuality. And DH certainly doesn't complain haha.

This says much, MUCH more about you than it does about anyone else. If that's the attitude you approach life with, of course you're going to encounter friction. What an incredibly weird thing to say

It's not a weird thing to say at all. A lot has to do with social constructs, but on the whole, men tend to be more direct, and women tend to be more passive-aggressive. For some women, it's far easier to deal with men, even men at their worst, because at least they know where they stand. It's far trickier navigating the social dynamics of a group of women than it is navigating the social dynamics of a group of men. I don't think it's biological. I think it's how boys and girls are socialized. And for some women, it's just far easier to deal with men, even very aggressive men, than it is to deal with the subtle aggression you find in groups of women. There's a reason the term "mean girls" exist.

And I'm not PP. I wouldn't say I get along with one sex better than the other, but I think it's definitely more straightforward dealing with men than it is with women. I've also never seen quite the manipulation and group shunning of a woman from a group of men the way I've seen it from a group of women.

Eh. If your MO is to ignore women and hang all over men in any situation, women aren't going to like you. It doesn't have to do with mean girls. It has to do with being a woman who derives her self worth from being sexy to men.

Exactly. If you go into every situation with a "I don't like women, I just like the men" attitude then...pretty hypocritical for you to act like the issue is that women don't like you. I'm guessing it has little to do with you liking sex, and a lot more to do with that attitude

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you look up the definition of aggression, it is in any form a negative term.

[Citation needed]. Aggressive men are glorified and revered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you look up the definition of aggression, it is in any form a negative term.

[Citation needed]. Aggressive men are glorified and revered.

What?? No they are not. That is absolutely a negative thing in my mind (DP)

[Anonymous]

Hmmmm....well I would say the women in my life I'd consider sexually aggressive made it clear in a weird tacky way, hanging all over the men and standing too close and braying at everything the men said. Not that these women were trying to actually do anything with other women's husbands necessarily, just that they needed to make it clear that a sexpot had arrived and all eyes on them. And no, I wasn't jealous, I'm secure and happy in my own female vibe and marriage and yes it was that obvious, how else would I know they were sexually aggressive? It's not as if I asked or was in the bedroom with them. They made it quite clear, kind of like vegans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you look up the definition of aggression, it is in any form a negative term. In its most positive light, it is used in sports to connote a fighting, hyper-competitive mentality. So when you add the idea of aggressive to sexuality, of course other human of any gender might be put off.

But maybe you didn't mean aggressive?

That's a bit simplistic. The reality is that men who are sexually aggressive aren't viewed as negatively as women who are sexually aggressive. In some ways, men who are sexually aggressive are respected by other men. Women who are sexually aggressive are shamed by other women.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know if a woman is sexually aggressive?

I'm sexually aggressive when I want to be, and love sex, but no one outside of close girlfriends or lovers would know this.

I'm the poster that deals with this as a manager.

Touching their shoulders, or arms or chest and squeeling how strong they are.

Inviting themself to lunch.

Bringing them coffee more that is a normal amounts.

Leaning over them and stretching past them to reach for something.

Going in their office and closing the door.

Flashing their crotch or thing.

Cornering them in the elevator.