Bad teen party with my cousin 30 years ago
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Anonymous
How would they know and how did OP get to the party? They can get home the same way. |
Anonymous
| OP, did you have an extremely sheltered upbringing until that point? |
Anonymous
| I think that you were very frightened by this situation, which was overwhelming to you. It would have been to me to at age 15. And that's okay. Why not talk to a therapist? |
Anonymous
| Same situation, different reactions. She got over it - good for her. You should try to do the same. |
Anonymous
My cousin's mother, my aunt, dropped us of at the party. The girls from my cousin's school wanted to party with the cute boys from my neighborhood. My cousin used to,live in my neighborhood and she knew a lot of the boys. That is how the boys from my neighborhood ended up at the party of my cousin's friend, with no parents and no adults supervising. No, I didn't lead a sheltered life. The boys from my neighborhood were met by the boys from my cousin's new high school at the party. There was a fight. There were drugs and underage drinking, property stolen and damaged. Police called. I was 15. I was responsible. I called my aunt and to this day, my aunt and my cousin don't think anything was wrong with that party. My cousin now has a teen daughter who is going away to college. I worry for the girl, that she if she is in a situation where there are drugs or alcohol and she is uncomfortable my cousin and my aunt won't take her seriously. |
Anonymous
| Op, you need to mind your own business. Most people would not be dwelling on a bad party from 30 years ago. Your aunt not picking you up seems to be the bigger issue. It was the 90s. Parents weren't helicopters and as involved as they are today. I dont think my mom would have picked me up if I did something stupid. I once was left to find my way home at midnight when i was 17. Forgive your aunt. Do you have kids of your own? Tell them the story and assure them that they can trust you to pick them up. |
Anonymous
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Is your cousin generally a good mom? Does her daughter tend to make bad choices? Chances are they will navigate what comes their way. If she's going off to college, she won't be calling mom for this kind of help anymore, she'll be calling friends or uber.
Are you close with her daughter? With my niece I know I can offer to be a point of contact for actual help or to talk about stuff she doesn't want to go to her mom about because we are close and my sister is ok with it. If the daughter is generally doing ok by now, it's not your place to involve yourself. We all have nights we look back at and cringe, but I realize my friends from that time period see those nights differently. Memory and perception are funny. If you still feel hurt or anxious about a party from 30 years ago, you may want to seek some therapy to talk it over. Your cousin isn't interested in changing her perception of the event...you can't control what others do, only how you react. It's up to you to manage your own feelings now. |
Anonymous
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PTSD from a party 30 years ago??
And people says the kids now are the ones who can't handle adversity. |
Anonymous
This post is beyond crazy, but... If you're so worried about your young cousin, teach her that she can rely on you for help. Your cousin and aunt showed you who they are 30 years ago. You say they still don't think they did anything wrong. They won't ever think they did. You can't change them. The only things you can change are you and your reactions. So take some action and help your young cousin yourself instead of waiting around for people to change for 30 years. |
Anonymous
| Your mom sucked. 45 min away is nothing. I drive my kids to school that far twice a day. |
Anonymous
| You need meds |
Anonymous
Who won the fight? The jets or the sharks? |
Anonymous
|
What applied in your situation would not apply to your niece. Your niece will be an 18 old presumably living on or near campus.
In a serious situation, colleges have emergency lines you can call, safe ride home services, dorm RAs and all that. College kids would not be calling their parents or you to rescue them if they are away in college--and that's a good thing because college is about independence. Most college kids also live close to or on campus. |
Anonymous
| OP, did you ever go to college and, if you did, did you move away from home and live on campus? |
Anonymous
| It sounds like a good party to me. |