Co-sleeping ruined my marriage

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You clearly had marital problems before Co sleeping became an issue.


We actually did not. We were very affectionate before cosleeping. It's funny how a handful of men have agreed with me on this.


In your original post you said "we have lots of other problems too".

So, pretty much co sleeping is just the tip of the iceburg.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your 2 year old is not a "baby". You only have yourself to blame for this. You chose to have your kid in bed with you instead of your husband so....


You clearly didn't read my post. It was my husbands choice.


Grow a spine. He might have been the one who wanted it but you let it happen. You literally made this bed and now you're having to lie in it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:All the couples I know who co-slept have ended up divorced


+1. Or are on the cusp. Particularly those who do it for 2, 3, 4 years. I know a woman who still co-sleeps with her elementary school kids. Hasn’t slept with her husband for years and it shows.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We each co-sleep with one of the two kids. We have sex every other night right after the kids fall asleep. We are happy and very affectionate so I really doubt it’s the co-sleeping that ruined your marriage...


So where does that even happen? On the living room couch?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:All the couples I know who co-slept have ended up divorced


Add me to that list.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All the couples I know who co-slept have ended up divorced


Add me to that list.


+1000
Anonymous
Co sleeping is gross.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Um, hate to break it to you, but the problem wasn't co-sleeping.


This. And a marriage counselor or couples therapist would have told you this long ago and possibly helped you salvage your marriage.

Did you ever work on improving things either by insisting you and he get to counseling together or by going for counseling or therapy on your own, OP? If you proceeded all the way to telling him to leave without ever doing more than lying there seething about how he wouldn't cuddle -- you fooled yourself out of your marriage. The lack of intimacy has to have roots that go a lot farther back than when your child was born. He might have had a shot at dealing with whatever made him so reluctant to be intimate that he used your child as a way to distance himself from you in bed, but you and he both have let things slide until he's going. Unless you really want to be a divorced mom, and unless you cannot recall any reason why you married him in the first place -- get to therapy for both of you and get your child into his own room. The latter will be stressful now because your child is so used to your room being his room.

Probably the best thing you could do is go away with DH for a week (not a night) and have a relative come stay in your house with your toddler. Your child will fuss. Your child also will not remember this later and will survive it. But you seem to be letting your marriage disappear and are willing to blame it on co-sleeping -- you don't see the larger issues, whatever they are. They were there BEFORE you had your child, and may come from DH's own upbringing or yours or both.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:All the couples I know who co-slept have ended up divorced



Was JUST about to post this.

Same here. Every. Single. One.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All the couples I know who co-slept have ended up divorced



Was JUST about to post this.

Same here. Every. Single. One.


+1
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:All the couples I know who co-slept have ended up divorced



Was JUST about to post this.

Same here. Every. Single. One.


But the co-sleeping can be bc the couple isn't doing well to begin with. It's correlation not the cause.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We each co-sleep with one of the two kids. We have sex every other night right after the kids fall asleep. We are happy and very affectionate so I really doubt it’s the co-sleeping that ruined your marriage...



So where does that even happen? On the living room couch?


We have a 3 bedroom house. You just have to do it. My DH wants it everyday and I am ok with once-twice a week so we compromise. I think it helps a lot with the connection also. Couples just need to get it on more!
Anonymous
I co-slept with both my children until about age 2. I am still married.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I co-slept with both my children until about age 2. I am still married.


How is the sex life?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I co-slept with both my children until about age 2. I am still married.


How is the sex life?


Different poster, similar but we cislept until about 5. Our sex life was great back then. At least for us. Once or twice a week. Now, it is less because our kid has a lot more activities we're running around, different travel schedules.

I mean, I don't give a crap about co-sleeping one way or the other for the most part. But it does indicate lack of logic and critical thinking to think that co-sleeping is what caused a marriage to break apart. Not that co-sleeping was a symptom.
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