How much to accommodate DS's mental health issues

[Anonymous]

FYI—you can specify that traveler has a disability when you book. I buy tickets on Southwest for my disabled mother all the time; cognitive/developmental disabilities is a choice. You might even be able to update the traveler profile for this time if you call SWA—maybe even online.

SWA can be a cattle call, but I appreciate that you can cancel upto 10 mins before your flight leaves and apply the cost of your ticket toward future travel. It’s saved us many times with a sick kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I get what you and others are saying about trying to balance accommodating your child's issues and and pushing him a bit out of his comfort level. But this is vacation! If you can do simple things to make it go more smoothly I would advise you to do them.

One idea might be to get a note from your child's provider explaining his severe anxiety and calling the airline in advance to flag him as having a disability or needing extra help. You do not need to say what the issue is. Then got to the gate agent and explain you called earlier and that your child will need to board early. The doctor's note is there as a back up if the gate agent is not cooperative. DH recently went through this as he broke his leg and the airlines were very nice and said they offer similar things like preboarding, help getting to the gate, an escort, etc. for a developmental, intellectual or mental issues.

No note needed.

I fly with groups of teenagers as part of my job, so I've done this several times, with different teens with invisible and visible disabilities. It's as simple as this. You walk up to the counter, and tell the agent either "I have a disability . . . " or "I am flying with this young person with a disability . . . " and then the accommodations they'll need "they will need extra time to board, to board when it isn't crowded, and to be seated with a companion. Can we get a preboarding pass?" Then they give you 2 passes and tell you "When they announce preboarding, please go over there."

If you need something that isn't covered by the standard preboarding (e.g. a transfer chair, or to preboard with 2 people for a specific reason) then it might be more complicated, but in the situations I've been in it's super easy.

Generally, when asking for a disability accommodation from public accommodation, you can't be asked what disability you have, and you can't be required to provide documentation. So, no letter is needed.

Do you really think most agents will be that accommodating, regardless of whether that is what they should do, both morally and possibly legally?

So many people are fed up with airlines and their fees and I have seen lots of people trying to scheme in various ways to get privileges that they haven't paid for, and didn't use to have to pay for. I think that this has made gate agents pretty skeptical, and not necessarily unreasonably so. I would worry that someone would think you are trying to pull a fast one to preboard without paying and might not allow it.

To be clear I am not saying that is what someone here is contemplating, but I could see the gate agent fearing that is the case.

Well, since I do this as part of my job (escort other people's teenagers on trips), I can tell you it has always worked for me, regardless of whether the disability is visible or invisible. So yes, I think it usually works, and that asking them to take a note when they are prohibited by law from doing so, isn't going to help.

[Anonymous]

Do visual "social stories" work with older kids like this? We recently did a social story to prep my younger kid with anxiety to get ready for a new camp and I was amazed at how well it worked (thanks Imagination Stage btw!) I usually hear about social stories for ASD but it was great for anxiety too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do visual "social stories" work with older kids like this? We recently did a social story to prep my younger kid with anxiety to get ready for a new camp and I was amazed at how well it worked (thanks Imagination Stage btw!) I usually hear about social stories for ASD but it was great for anxiety too.

They could. They were developed for pre-teens, but there is nothing that prevents using them on teens. Visuals might not be necessary for an older kid. I use Social Stories without visuals for my 10-year old.

[Anonymous]

I'm right in your shoes OP (cancelled New Years planned because of DC's anxiety and the nasty behavior that is coming with it today). I think it would be useful to steer this back to how do we deal with the awful behavior. Obviously, state expectations. Try to oppose consequences, although that is a bit hit or miss with a kid who's bigger than me. But beyond that? I don't know. At least not tonight.

Good luck with the flight! For our family, we pay for the early boarding and really enjoy Southwest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prepay or just go to the gate and see if they will let you do early boarding. We always prepay just to be safe to make sure we sit together. Or, prepay for just two people and have those two hold seats.

He is disabled - he can preboard with at least one family member.
Maybe but the early boarding passes for the other family members.

You can’t thibk of any strategies to sooth his nerves after all of these years? You need a behavioral therapist to give you some ideas and strategies.
Definitely.

PP, some mental health issues cannot be "strategied" away. For example, I'm sure many people in your life have tried to get you to stop being such an ignorant a-hole. But it hasn't worked, has it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prepay or just go to the gate and see if they will let you do early boarding. We always prepay just to be safe to make sure we sit together. Or, prepay for just two people and have those two hold seats.

He is disabled - he can preboard with at least one family member.
Maybe but the early boarding passes for the other family members.

You can’t thibk of any strategies to sooth his nerves after all of these years? You need a behavioral therapist to give you some ideas and strategies.
Definitely.

PP, some mental health issues cannot be "strategied" away. For example, I'm sure many people in your life have tried to get you to stop being such an ignorant a-hole. But it hasn't worked, has it?

Uh, your immature short sighted attitude isn’t helping anything.
If you make it your focus - for years if need be- you can actually help DC develop self comforting strategies and a sense of flexibility in realizing that though not everything goes his way things are okay in the end. He is SN because this might take years of focused effort to see improvement but it is not , in fact, impossible and success means a lot more happiness for everyone.