Spouse says he really doesn't want a gift

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Donations!!! I don't want more crap, and when I do want something I buy it for myself. But I feel like I can never give enough to charities I care about, so it really is a gift when someone makes a donation to a cause I care about. I know they were thinking about me, and... I don't have to deal with stuff I may not want. What does your husband care about that you can help support?

That's a great suggestion.

[Anonymous]

I'm a guy and like the donation idea. I, too, have enough "things."

I think consumables is another good idea. Booze was mentioned. A nice fruit basket from Harry and David. That sort of thing.

You can make a little gift basket. Booze, gift card from Starbucks, some nice chocolate, etc.

[Anonymous]

I think he means don’t spend a lot of money on stuff since he really doesn’t have anything he wants or that’s in the budget. When I say no gifts, I really mean I am happy with a card with handwritten thoughts to acknowledge the event but if you are spending money it’s Secret Santa rules of being under $20.

If for the kids we want to have a gift to open, it is something really small and likely consumable like favorite candy, favorite coffee, etc. Because DH loves decorating the Christmas tree, an ornament that is special to him is another idea. He hates clutter so something small would need to be consumable or a replacement for something small like socks or an inexpensive wallet etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand posts like this or people who ask (weekly) if a no gifts invitation is actually no gifts. Take people at their word. If your DH seems disappointed on Christmas morning then ask him if he wants to go back to getting a gift next year.

Well remember most of the posts here are women. This is part of the mind games women play. If you do not play these games, you run the risk of avoiding drama.

[Anonymous]

I hate the "I bought a sheep for a village in Africa" crap. If you want to do charity, great, I'm all for it. I just don't see what that has to do with me. That's not a gift; it doesn't show any thoughtfulness towards me at all. Just write a nice card or take me to lunch or dinner or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand posts like this or people who ask (weekly) if a no gifts invitation is actually no gifts. Take people at their word. If your DH seems disappointed on Christmas morning then ask him if he wants to go back to getting a gift next year.

Well remember most of the posts here are women. This is part of the mind games women play. If you do not play these games, you run the risk of avoiding drama.

I’m a woman and when I say no gifts, I really mean no gifts. We don’t exchange gifts for anniversaries or Valentines Day. Cards are expected. I’ve never said no gifts for Christmas but I could see setting a cap like $20 someday. My in-laws go all out for Christmas so that is part of the challenge of opening our gifts to each other in front of them if we were to set a small cap and can afford more (which we can).

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are the same. We never exchange gift. Our finance are joints so it just easier to just buy what we want in reasonable value. We know what each other are buying anyway. It s hard to surprise one another.

We have birthday card for esch others . He gave me flowers valentine day. If I want something extravagant like a channel bag or Rolex watch, I look at our finance, make sure that doesn’t cut into saving. Then I ask his permission. He usually say yes.

[Anonymous]

DH are the same. We really never exchange gifts. We are not people that like a lot of gadgets and accessories. I just got a new car. That is my gift for quite a while.