Crazy to talk marriage after one month of dating?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My DH and I married after 4 months of dating, and 6 months of knowing each other. That was 16 yrs ago


You got lucky. You did not truly know that man when you married him. I'm glad it worked out for the best, but it would have worked out for the best if you had waited, also.
Anonymous
Fine to talk about, crazy to do it
Anonymous
My DH and his ex got married after 6 months. He said if he had known what a horrible, materialistic cow she was during their first Xmas together, he would have never married her.

Needless to say he had to scope me out for our first Xmas...unbeknownst to me. Luckily I passed the test and we are happy 12 years later.

Executive summary: wait at least a year of dating.
Anonymous
We both knew but didn't talk about actually getting married fir a long time. He joked about it so I said we needed to talk about kids, finances, future living plans, what to do if relatives needed money, how to handle a pet's death, why previous tejatiinships went bad, religion, etc. Basically every single crazy scenario we could think of.
Anonymous
To make a long story short: it depends.

If you, for example, both have a religious background where marriage is extremely important then I suppose it's something you could talk about after a month.

But definitely don't go through with it that soon - that seems a bit crazy (with all due respect).

Wishing you the best!

/Adam - ReelingHimIn.com
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Immediately this felt like a different kind of relationship, and we're not just a couple of kids (I'm 31, he's 34). We adore each other and talk about marriage, future plans, babies, etc. Is this crazy?


Yes. Haven't you ever heard of the "honeymoon phase"? Do you know how many people have thought they've found there future spouse after a month? People in their 30s should know better.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My DH and his ex got married after 6 months. He said if he had known what a horrible, materialistic cow she was during their first Xmas together, he would have never married her.

Needless to say he had to scope me out for our first Xmas...unbeknownst to me. Luckily I passed the test and we are happy 12 years later.

Executive summary: wait at least a year of dating.


Before getting engaged and then wait another year to get married
Anonymous
1. Have you met his family?

2. Have you seen how he reacts when angry?

Don't agree to marry him until you do
Anonymous
I've seen it go both ways. My friend growing up had parents who got engaged after a week and have been married 40 plus years. My in-laws got married quickly and seem pretty unhappy.

I went the other way - got married after about 10 years of dating - but think I'd do two things before marrying: (1) get through a serious argument (or at least seriously discuss something you disagree about. For instance, my DH and I have different views on religion and private / public schools) (2) meet with a marriage conselor. My church required marriage counseling (4 hours maybe?) to get married and the minister asked us a bunch of "have you ever discussed X" questions. In 10 years we'd discussed them all, but the topics were useful. I've been married 9.5 years.
Anonymous
He could be very dangerous. My abusive ex love bombs every woman like that. Real love, you'll know after he proceed he deserves your trust.
Anonymous
My husband and I started talking about marriage within 2 months of our first date. We were married 7 years in June.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:1. Have you met his family?

2. Have you seen how he reacts when angry?

Don't agree to marry him until you do




+100
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:1. Have you met his family?

2. Have you seen how he reacts when angry?

Don't agree to marry him until you do


Wow, spot on advice.
Anonymous
Ok to feel these things and even explore by talking. But don't commit too soon..you have great chemistry but allow yourselves time and space to truly explore compatibility...and do not move in together until you're engaged!!( I moved in with a guy when I was 31, we also talked marriage early in but I really didn't know him and then we didn't break up when we should have because it was a huge hassle...)

Fwiw with my DH, I definitely thought marriage was possible after a few dates. We got engaged a year in, married 7 months later.. and it was still.an adjustment !
Anonymous
Talk, maybe.

Act on it, absolutely.
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