Rec leagues bending rules to pick and choose players without SN

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good god, I thought we were the only one this happened to. I'm sorry others experience this. One parent/coach, created a new travel team and invited nearly all the players from my DS's division. We found out after we registered for the next season and never got notified of what team my DS was assigned to. They also refused to return our calls/emails. I eventually sent an email to the Treasurer demanding a refund. DH found a league that had a spot and so DS was able to play. That was 2 years ago.

That 'travel team' (which doesn't actually travel) is now calling itself the 'feeder team' to our local high school and they've got a banner hanging on the high school fence. When I emailed the team to inquire about try outs, I was told tryouts were by invitation only. I sent an email to the high school inquiring about it. DS, understandably, feels like he's been shut out even before he had a chance.

I admire your spirit, mom. I can't believe they told you tryouts were invitation only. For a high school team? Is that legal? Your DS is lucky to have you. I've almost given up on trying to find a place for DS, who is younger, after experiencing something similar, including the not getting calls or emails returned. I can't believe I am saying this but it's a brutal world out there for kids' rec sports these days.

You should call the H.S. and let them know. They should not be allowing this team to advertise on the high school fence, nor to call themselves a feeder for the H.S. team if they are exclusionary. Someone from the H.S. should call the team coach and tell them to knock it off.

First PP here. To clarify - the 'travel team' (which doesn't actually travel) is now calling itself the 'feeder team' to our local HS. I didn't know it was the same team that broke off from our league 2 years ago until I saw who responded to my email. I suspect he knows who my kid is. After being told tryouts for the travel team are 'invitation only', I left a voice mail with the high school activities director inquiring about the 'feeder team'. I don't know how they get away with posting their banner on the school fence and calling themselves the 'feeder team'.

I've tried to be measured in my approach to this. DS was initially crushed by this and was ready to give up. Last week, the school psychologist (DS gas counseling hours in his IEP) called me to introduce herself and let me know she'd met with DS for the first time. I laid it all out for her. She was surprised by the 'feeder team' thing as well. She thought everyone who went out for the sport in HS made the team. She thought they had a 'no cut' rule at least for the freshman. I've got some time to work on it because it's a spring sport. We've got our first IEP meeting scheduled in 2 weeks and I'm going to bring it up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I coach a soccer team and just reached out to a mom of a boy who is friends with some of the kids on the team. I don't know if he has a diagnosis, but he is physically awkward, inattentive and doesn't generally do sports, and I had hesitated in mentioning to his mom that we have a spot on the team because some of the other parents are super focused on winning, and put pressure on me. But this thread got me feeling bad about that and prompted me to reach out to her so she can see if he's interested. So thank you for sharing your perspectives.

14:04 here. Thank you for reconsidering. I've got 3 kids, including a typical kid who is athletic and is sought by coaches - so I've seen both sides of the issue. If your team is a rec team, parents shouldn't be super focused on winning. Rec teams are for developing skills, getting playing time and developing/nurturing a love of the game. If parents want their kids on competitive teams, join a travel team. It's crushing to parents and kids when they're forced out/unwelcome in the leagues that are supposed to be for them. How else can our kids get better at doing something they love if they have no opportunities to play?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I coach a soccer team and just reached out to a mom of a boy who is friends with some of the kids on the team. I don't know if he has a diagnosis, but he is physically awkward, inattentive and doesn't generally do sports, and I had hesitated in mentioning to his mom that we have a spot on the team because some of the other parents are super focused on winning, and put pressure on me. But this thread got me feeling bad about that and prompted me to reach out to her so she can see if he's interested. So thank you for sharing your perspectives.

This is really nice of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SN child played Little League baseball for a couple of years, enjoyed it, had fun, and wasn't bad at it, but when he aged out of the league and needed to move up to the next level, we were told that he needed to stay at the lower level - despite the fact that he was too old and all of his former teammates were moving up. Team selection was held, but he was never called back and we had to inquire about what happened. That's when we learned he wouldn't be moving up. It really soured my opinion of team sports after that.

Ugh! This doesn't even make sense! Why wouldn't they let him stay with his correct age group?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SN child played Little League baseball for a couple of years, enjoyed it, had fun, and wasn't bad at it, but when he aged out of the league and needed to move up to the next level, we were told that he needed to stay at the lower level - despite the fact that he was too old and all of his former teammates were moving up. Team selection was held, but he was never called back and we had to inquire about what happened. That's when we learned he wouldn't be moving up. It really soured my opinion of team sports after that.

Ugh! This doesn't even make sense! Why wouldn't they let him stay with his correct age group?!

Because after about age 12 LL becomes tryouts only, not rec.

[Anonymous]

Oh, 15:16, I really feel for your son. How shitty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SN child played Little League baseball for a couple of years, enjoyed it, had fun, and wasn't bad at it, but when he aged out of the league and needed to move up to the next level, we were told that he needed to stay at the lower level - despite the fact that he was too old and all of his former teammates were moving up. Team selection was held, but he was never called back and we had to inquire about what happened. That's when we learned he wouldn't be moving up. It really soured my opinion of team sports after that.

Ugh! This doesn't even make sense! Why wouldn't they let him stay with his correct age group?!

Because after about age 12 LL becomes tryouts only, not rec.

Adding -- and they have barriers to keep some out of tryouts for the "majors" level -- e.g. lists of skills that must be mastered

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SN child played Little League baseball for a couple of years, enjoyed it, had fun, and wasn't bad at it, but when he aged out of the league and needed to move up to the next level, we were told that he needed to stay at the lower level - despite the fact that he was too old and all of his former teammates were moving up. Team selection was held, but he was never called back and we had to inquire about what happened. That's when we learned he wouldn't be moving up. It really soured my opinion of team sports after that.

Ugh! This doesn't even make sense! Why wouldn't they let him stay with his correct age group?!

Because after about age 12 LL becomes tryouts only, not rec.

I did not know that. I thought rec league sports would put anyone who signed up on a team.
So as soon as they could be exclusive, they ditched pp's kid?
Maybe I should start a new thread on Sports forum but what are these parents thinking? "thank god we can finally get rid of Lsrlo?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SN child played Little League baseball for a couple of years, enjoyed it, had fun, and wasn't bad at it, but when he aged out of the league and needed to move up to the next level, we were told that he needed to stay at the lower level - despite the fact that he was too old and all of his former teammates were moving up. Team selection was held, but he was never called back and we had to inquire about what happened. That's when we learned he wouldn't be moving up. It really soured my opinion of team sports after that.

Ugh! This doesn't even make sense! Why wouldn't they let him stay with his correct age group?!

Because after about age 12 LL becomes tryouts only, not rec.

I did not know that. I thought rec league sports would put anyone who signed up on a team.
So as soon as they could be exclusive, they ditched pp's kid?
Maybe I should start a new thread on Sports forum but what are these parents thinking? "thank god we can finally get rid of Lsrlo?"

Some bigger LL's also run a Rec Track for "older" kids who want to play but aren't as strong. It isn't just SN kids who are cut once the get to that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SN child played Little League baseball for a couple of years, enjoyed it, had fun, and wasn't bad at it, but when he aged out of the league and needed to move up to the next level, we were told that he needed to stay at the lower level - despite the fact that he was too old and all of his former teammates were moving up. Team selection was held, but he was never called back and we had to inquire about what happened. That's when we learned he wouldn't be moving up. It really soured my opinion of team sports after that.

Ugh! This doesn't even make sense! Why wouldn't they let him stay with his correct age group?!

Because after about age 12 LL becomes tryouts only, not rec.

Adding -- and they have barriers to keep some out of tryouts for the "majors" level -- e.g. lists of skills that must be mastered

Yep. It was right after 'A' ball. They were ok with breaking the age rules to keep him at the lower level, though. SMH.

[Anonymous]

My dad coached rec soccer for 15 years and was adamant that everyone played. Now I have kids with special needs myself I can really appreciate the power of his commitment.

He still has grown ups come up to him and tell him how much it meant that "coach" believed in them. They weren't always kids with special needs, some were just the slow, awkward kid who was always picked last.

So please rec coaches- remember how much impact you can have on kids- especially those who struggle. That is so much more important than your win/ loss record.

[Anonymous]

I have to think that the bad karma these people are spreading around will come back to them one day.

I don't understand how a coach or the parents could sleep at night knowing only one kid was cut from the neighborhood team. Just reading the post about this makes me want to cry.

Sending strength to all of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh, 15:16, I really feel for your son. How shitty.

Thanks.

It does suck, but the sting is a little less.

Like I said, my kid is a NT kid with lots of friends. Sometimes these types of disappointments happen for reasons we do not understand. In my kid's case, maybe this will be a good lesson in empathy and kindness. Maybe he will remember how this feels when he is the one picking teams at recess, kwim?

That is why I said I really feel for the kid who gets left out or cut due to special needs. For my kid this is a bump in the road or a life lesson, but it really felt horrible for my kid, especially the first time he realized the whole gang was on the same team. For a kid who this always happens to, it must be soul crushing. It is hard to deal with this kind of rejection (intentional or not) when you are a confident, popular kid. To be a kid with more social challenges it must be so hard to pick up and keep going forward.

Coaches who are reading this, try to think about how this kind of rejection feels to an 8-12 year old kid. Rec leagues need to be inclusive, and if they are allowing neighborhood teams please try to avoid having 10-12 neighborhood kids on one team with 2-3 kid left out or scattered around by themselves on other teams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SN child played Little League baseball for a couple of years, enjoyed it, had fun, and wasn't bad at it, but when he aged out of the league and needed to move up to the next level, we were told that he needed to stay at the lower level - despite the fact that he was too old and all of his former teammates were moving up. Team selection was held, but he was never called back and we had to inquire about what happened. That's when we learned he wouldn't be moving up. It really soured my opinion of team sports after that.

Ugh! This doesn't even make sense! Why wouldn't they let him stay with his correct age group?!

Because after about age 12 LL becomes tryouts only, not rec.

I did not know that. I thought rec league sports would put anyone who signed up on a team.
So as soon as they could be exclusive, they ditched pp's kid?
Maybe I should start a new thread on Sports forum but what are these parents thinking? "thank god we can finally get rid of Lsrlo?"

The way little league works, Tball and single A (machine pitch) are neighborhood teams.

AA, AAA and Majors are all a draft (coach by coach). All five levels have overlapping age brackets. For example, my 11 year old can play in either AAA (weaker to average 11 year olds) or majors (average to stronger players). My nine year old could play in 3 different levels (AA, AAA, or majors if he was a superstar).

AA does not have a try out, except perhaps if your kid is a star and is officially too young for the level.

AAA and majors are tryouts, with the very best kids (usually 9-12 year olds) on majors.

With my oldest, the teams ended up being jumbled between a ton of different schools and several grades starting in AA, because the coaches the coaches were trying to draft winning teams. He only knew of one team that was a "neighborhood team" and this was a different school than his. All of the other teams have been blended teams, which I thinkis best at this level.

My younger son's level seems to always have a few "neighborhood teams" instead of teams that are drafted to create a balanced team from different schools. I thought it would endby AA, but it has continued through AAA and I anticipate maybe through majors. This is when it starts to sting. Because the teams are drafted by the coach, and because they are comprised of all neighborhood kids, the kids not chosen think it is because the coaches or parents don't like or want them, or that they must be he worst baseball player in their school. It is much more demoralizing when it is a neighborhood team in a draft situation and one or two are left off, than when it is a draft situation where kids are coming from 4-7 different schools and are chosen by merit or by what type of players the coaches need filled. It is easier to swallow rejection based off ability than to be rejected from a group containing all your neighbors, friends or classmates.

That being said, LL coaches are volunteers and it takes a lot of time, so they shoukd be able to pick the team they want to coach. It sucks though to the kids left out.

One more thing, when they get picked for a majors team they stay with that coach until they move out of little league. I think that is designed to prevent coaches from drafting from other teams to create an unbalanced league with one unbeatable team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SN child played Little League baseball for a couple of years, enjoyed it, had fun, and wasn't bad at it, but when he aged out of the league and needed to move up to the next level, we were told that he needed to stay at the lower level - despite the fact that he was too old and all of his former teammates were moving up. Team selection was held, but he was never called back and we had to inquire about what happened. That's when we learned he wouldn't be moving up. It really soured my opinion of team sports after that.

Ugh! This doesn't even make sense! Why wouldn't they let him stay with his correct age group?!

Because after about age 12 LL becomes tryouts only, not rec.

Adding -- and they have barriers to keep some out of tryouts for the "majors" level -- e.g. lists of skills that must be mastered

Yep. It was right after 'A' ball. They were ok with breaking the age rules to keep him at the lower level, though. SMH.

Little League unlike some sports leagues have flexible age groupings that are based on skills, so while most 8 year old play in the same division there might be a really good 7 year old, a bunch of 8 year olds, and some weaker 9 year olds, and maybe even a 10 year old who has never played baseball before. I appreciate the flexibility. I would rather see my 9 year old play with 7 and 8 year olds and get to play infield and not bat last. If my 9 year old were playing with 9 and 10 year olds he would bat once in a game and only play outfield and sit out many innings on the bench.