Boyfriend would like to start going Dutch on dates after 8 months

[Anonymous]

The whole situation sounds kind of weird. You are compiling a list of your financial contributions and comparing it to his? Ive never even thought of doing that. You sound a bit anal. And he has hinted at you paying half. Why doesn't he just say it? And it seems like you can't talk to him about this, which is a bad sign.

And this is why I don't date American women when I'm in the US, but I also never go dutch.

[Anonymous]

Dude lives at home with his parents? How old are each of you?

Unless he's caring for them, personally providing assistance with things like cooking bathing dressing etc, which would be noble, he's a loser or immature or cheap.

Fuuuuck that.

Or maybe he's just not that into you.

I think you can do better.

[Anonymous]

He sleeps over with you enough to consider him a roommate. If he wants to keep insisting on date destinations and that you go Dutch, it's time to ask him for help with your rent. And change your passwords on Comcast and Netflix. Force him to ask for them and you can have a convo about shared expenses. I don't see this relationship succeeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude lives at home with his parents? How old are each of you?

Unless he's caring for them, personally providing assistance with things like cooking bathing dressing etc, which would be noble, he's a loser or immature or cheap.

Fuuuuck that.

Or maybe he's just not that into you.

I think you can do better.

This was my first thought. Red flag.

[Anonymous]

It is kind of pointless to post this type of question on DCUM because all of these man hating trolls are going to support you because you are a woman. If the roles were reversed, they would still support you.

If you are a strong and independent woman, pay your fair share which is 50%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is kind of pointless to post this type of question on DCUM because all of these man hating trolls are going to support you because you are a woman. If the roles were reversed, they would still support you.

If you are a strong and independent woman, pay your fair share which is 50%.

50% of what? What's airbnb rate for an apartment where she lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dude lives at home with his parents? How old are each of you?

Unless he's caring for them, personally providing assistance with things like cooking bathing dressing etc, which would be noble, he's a loser or immature or cheap.

Fuuuuck that.

Or maybe he's just not that into you.

I think you can do better.

This was my first thought. Red flag.

I'm 25, and he's 35. No he doesn't takes care of his parents. The initial plan was to stay there for another year to save money and to have over $20-30k to put down on a home next year.

[Anonymous]

Every time I read a thread like this I think of that scene from the Joy Luck Club movie, when the woman's mom finds out about the "going Dutch "
Marriage she has .

[daisygirl]

Have you taken him an itemized list of what you spend versus what he spends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There are so many red flags with this boyfriend of yours, I really don't recommend you hold on to him. Sharing expenses when going out is actually reasonable, but his entire way of life and behavior is really off-putting.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

daisygirl wrote:Have you taken him an itemized list of what you spend versus what he spends.

No, I haven't because my rent and things are things I'd pay whether him and I dated or not but because he's there more than 1/2 of the month, I feel it does actually counts so if we tallied what he spent on us plus my rent etc and what I do spend when I do contributed, it would actually be more than him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There are so many red flags with this boyfriend of yours, I really don't recommend you hold on to him. Sharing expenses when going out is actually reasonable, but his entire way of life and behavior is really off-putting.

+1

+2

+3

[Anonymous]

Take a r/s break and use the time to think about the situation.

I don't read anything in your words about this boy being "your person" and there's def no respect or admiration. Your question reads, "Can I continue to afford dating this boy?" What would you rather spend your money on and with whom?

Doesn't read like he's much into you and he's not willing to invest in your relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are you and your BF? Why are you dating someone who lives at home? If he's making twice what you make, whatever that is, for sure he can afford a place of his own.

He is smart for living at home and saving money. Maybe if more people did that, they could have a bigger down payment, afford to take unpaid time when they have a baby.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, how old are you and your BF? Why are you dating someone who lives at home? If he's making twice what you make, whatever that is, for sure he can afford a place of his own.

He is smart for living at home and saving money. Maybe if more people did that, they could have a bigger down payment, afford to take unpaid time when they have a baby.....

It's funny about there are about the same number of women(22-30) who live with their parents as men, but some how they are not considered losers.